Harry's Eleven, and the Mirror's Secrets
by StrangePointOfView
Summary: In a world where Harry Potter was raised by Danny Ocean, can he and his new friends fight the future, and Voldemort's Legion of Doom? They're gonna need one more guy. A Warner Bros. Crossover event.
1. The Adventure Begins

**The Adventure Begins**

When people become threatened there are two responses; fight, or flight.

Or at least, that's what his teacher said. But Harry Potter knew of another reaction; fright. He knew the instant the lawnmower broke down that Uncle Vernon would blame him. But he found that he couldn't run. He just stood there, knowing that Vernon would have heard the noise, and the inevitable would come sooner rather than later…

"What the blazes happened boy!"

Too late, Harry decided flight was the best response, but he realized he'd only get into more trouble if he tried to run. The result was a peculiar jerky leap, before spinning to face his uncle. "It wasn't my fault!" He cried on reflex.

"Oh? Well it's got to be somebody's fault hasn't it?" Vernon hissed.

The pair of them looked around for witnesses. Harry barely stopped himself from breathing a sigh of relief when he spotted Ms. Hodge tending to her rosebushes across the street. Vernon would never hit Harry, after all what would the neighbors think? But they had worse ways to hurt him when nobody was looking. They could hurt him without leaving a mark.

"You are to go into the garage and fix that lawnmower right now." Vernon hissed dangerously.

"But I don't know how." Harry said.

"Then you'd best read the instructions! Land's sake boy, you'd think that you don't know how to read! Get to work right now, and don't you dare come back inside until it's better than new."

Not that the Dursleys had ever bothered with reading before. Harry was the only one who'd read anything past required schooling, and that only because he'd sneak books out of the school library. It was difficult, but when you're locked in a cupboard every once in a while, you learn how to pick locks and sneak out.

Harry struggled to push the lawnmower into the garage. He was so skinny he struggled to push it on his own, much less the wreck it had become. He kept the garage door open, so maybe Uncle Vernon wouldn't come in and start punishing him for fear of being seen.

Hoisting the mower onto its back, Harry immediately found the problem. There was a long iron bar jammed between the mower's blades. Both ends of the bar had holes in them, like it was supposed to be screwed in somewhere. "Where did you come from?" Harry asked. It was a force of habit; he didn't have anybody else to talk to, so he talked to himself.

He set the bar on the ground and surveyed the damage. Nothing looked broken, just… warped. Harry sighed and went to fetch the hammer. He wasn't very strong, but if he wanted dinner, he'd have to hammer it back into shape.

When he returned to his seat, however, the metal bar was gone. A quick look around revealed that it was rolling out of the driveway… uphill!

Harry quickly rushed over and picked it up. Vernon would kill him if he did two impossible things today (not that he did them at all, but that wouldn't stop Vernon from blaming him). He realized that the two holes were blinking, which a bright blue light.

"What are you?" Harry asked.

He looked around, and quietly moved a brick loose from the floor of the house. He'd riddled the whole house with secret passages like this. It was handy; when Vernon or Petunia locked him in his cupboard, he could move around the house as he wanted (as long as he was really, really quiet) and even have a midnight snack once in a while, having the disappearing food blamed on rats. Of course, this meant that he had to wear a mask when he travelled through his secret crawlspaces, otherwise he might breath in rat poison.

After stashing the metal bar in his cupboard securely so it didn't bang around, he went back to work on the lawnmower. Of course, Vernon came in after about five minutes and told him to keep it down, so Harry had to bend the metal back into shape as quietly as he could. And when he'd finished that, around the time the sun was going down, he tried to start it up, but it still wouldn't go. He almost took the engine apart before he found out what was wrong and managed to fix it using Dudley's broken tricycle for spare parts.

At long last, the misquitos were out and the crickets were chirping, and Harry's hands were covered in cuts and oil, but he was finished. In fact, he noted with pride, the lawnmower looked even better then it had to begin with.

He was about to go inside and wash up, when a van pulled up in the driveway. A man with a clipboard got out and opened up the back of the van… and pulled out a new lawnmower.

"Ah, excellent!" Vernon emerged from his house with a wide smile. "Thank you for your prompt delivery." He signed the man's clipboard and he drove away.

Harry watched with apprehension as Vernon wheeled the new model into the garage. "You took too long boy." He said. "I had to order a new model because you couldn't fix this piece of junk."

"But… I did fix it." Harry said.

Vernon raised a foot, and brought it crashing down with all the weight behind it on the lawnmower. Tears welled in Harry's eyes, as the device he'd spent all day working on, missing lunch and dinner for, fixing up better than new, was destroyed. "Does that look fixed?" Vernon hissed sadistically.

For dinner that night, Harry only got one slice of roast beef and a glass of water. Dudley took great pleasure in flaunting his own dessert in front of him, having a second helping.

Harry locked himself in his closet.

He let his tears flow freely now. But even as his cheeks grew moist, he heard a soft sound. A sort of beeping. He lifted up one of the floorboards, and pulled out the metal bar, the source of all todays problems. As he held it, he felt it tugging his hand.

There were many times when he wanted to run away from the Dursleys. In fact, if he was being honest with himself, barely a week went by that he didn't pack his things. But always, he found that he had nowhere to go. Now this strange metal beam wanted to leave too… and it had somewhere to go.

He'd packed his things just yesterday. He'd snuck his way out of the house within minutes.

He stood in the middle of the street, wearing his cousin's baggy clothes, holding a cheap backpack with all of his belongings in one hand because the strap was broken. He'd done enough crying for one day, but as he looked up and down the streets, beyond the dim lights and into the darkness, he felt something well up inside him.

"Well?" He asked himself. "what are you waiting for? Adventure isn't going to find itself."

He took the rod out of the backpack, and held it up firmly in front of it. "There's no going back." He responded.

"Yes there is." He told himself. "There's always going back. There's flight, or fight, like Ms. Wormwood says. But right now you're just standing in the street doing nothing."

He looked around. "Adventure isn't going to find itself." He repeated, before letting the bar pull him forward.

* * *

Two weeks went by, and Harry Potter saw no wanted posters of himself, which was really just typical of the Dursleys, and probably the most helpful thing they could have done for him.

After the first few days, Harry had noticed that adventures in real life are different from adventures in story books. For one thing, he didn't have some sort of enemy lurking around every corner trying to kill him. What he had instead was a powerful urge to turn around and go home, which he thought was much more dangerous.

"You know…" He would say to himself. "Maybe if I went home right now, the Dursleys will realize what they're missing, and they'll welcome me back with food."

And then he laughed at himself, because if he didn't he was worried he'd give in.

That was another things about adventures in real life. No food. No toilets either, at least not in suburbia or in the countryside. He could always find a toilet in a food court. But mostly, the problem was food. Harry reckoned that Dudley would not last one day on a real adventure; he would break down into tears for lack of chocolate.

Harry had tried to steal some food for himself, but he couldn't bring himself to take anything from innocent suburban households, and stealing from food courts was hard. He was thinner than he was at the Dursleys (which was saying something) and his cheap backpack held a single sampling of fudge.

Hungry, he wandered through the docks of London. His stick was pointing out to sea, so he was trying to find a boat to stow away on. Maybe the boat would have food. It would definitely have places to hide from angry dogs without leashes.

In the dim light of the twilight, Harry saw a ship and he knew he wanted to be on it. It was a luxurious ship, clean and white, and full of bright lights. And the smell… even from here, Harry could smell a barbeque on deck.

"What are you waiting for, an invitation?" He asked.

"No excuses. You're hungry, there's food, and the people on the boat are probably rich enough to not care."

Harry ran towards the alluring smell of frying ribs. "Yeah, look at all those suits. I bet they won't miss a piece of meat or two."

Three plates later, Harry was stumbling across the darker parts of the deck where none of the people in suits would go, fuller than he had ever been in his entire life. He was good at sneaking, but on his second helping he'd been caught by a guy named Bruce Wayne. Fortunately, Bruce didn't turn him in. He just directed Harry at all of the good food. He moaned as the rare steak soaked in barbeque sauce made its way through his stomach, along with the chocolate cake, the vegetable platter, the French fries and lasagna with the fancy sounding name, and the fizzy punch…

As he was thinking about food, the metal bar slipped out of his tired hand.

"No!" He yelled, not caring if anybody heard him. He dove after it, but it had already rolled overboard. The metal rod sank into the river as he watched, and he realized that the boat was already pulling away into the sea.

He was leaving Britain. And he had nowhere to go.

He cried. He couldn't help it; after all that he'd went through, he'd thought that it would actually be worth something in the end. Now he was just another kid who ran away without thinking things through, and nobody was looking for him, and his adventure was over.

When he woke up, somebody was poking him the ribs.

Harry looked up. He was inside a room, with only one door. The man standing over him was dressed in a security uniform and prodding Harry with a nightstick. When he saw he was awake, he put the stick away. "So… shall we start with 'who are you?' or 'how did you get in here?' or maybe I should ask 'what are you doing here?'"

"I'm… lost." Harry said.

"You're lost? Well, this is a strange place to lose yourself in. Come on."

The security guard pulled him away. Harry briefly saw something else in the room with them, a pedestal, with a screw the size of his fist on it, bumping against the side of a glass case like it was trying to get out, and blinking blue.

The security guard lead Harry out of the room. He lead him past a foot thick door, that made a huge heavy sound when it closed. He pressed his hand against the wall, and another door opened after much whirring sounds from within. Then he went and pressed some numbers on a pad in the wall, and the floor lifted them both up like an elevator. When they reached the top, the security guard holding Harry nodded to two other, scarier looking guards, and pushed on an ordinary wall. It opened up, and they walked through, and when Harry looked back the ordinary wall was just a widescreen television sitting on top of a beautiful aquarium.

The rest of the room, was as beautiful as the aquarium, but Harry didn't notice. Because there were three other people in the room, each wearing expensive looking suits. Two of them were smiling (not I-caught-you-where-you-don't-belong smiles, but real genuine warm smiles), and the other one was sipping a McDonald's soft drink.

The man sitting behind the desk adjusted his glasses, as if to get a better look at Harry. "Is this one of your co-workers Mr. Ocean?"

The other man not sipping the drink shook his head. "The kid's not with me."

"Thank you Gerald, you can go." The man in the glasses waved gestured, and the security officer let go of Harry and left.

"Well, hello there." He said with a smile. "My name is Mr. Rich. What's yours?"

"Harry sir. Harry Potter."

"And how old are you, Harry Sir Harry Potter?"

"Six."

"Ah, what an age. I remember my sixes well. Well then Harry Sir Harry Potter, welcome to the Incredible Voyage." Mr. Rich spread his arms wide, gesturing to the room. "I built this ship so that my friends and I could have a good time. But secretly, below the decks and behind that wall, there's a vault that keeps a wonderful piece of technology. It's the most secure vault in the world. Well, aside from a couple of vaults I have at my home. Mr. Ocean's job is to break into it to test its security, and not even he's cracked it yet. He says he needs a couple more men and a couple more weeks before he could get in. So, Harry Sir Harry Potter, how did you get in?"

Harry looked at the door longingly. "I don't know." He said. "Sometimes, I just go places where I shouldn't go. My Uncle says it's because I'm a freak."

Even the man sipping the drink frowned at this.

"I'm sorry for sneaking onto your boat." Harry said, not looking at their faces any more. "I was just looking for food… and a place to sleep…"

And with that the whole story came flooding out of Harry. He cried at parts, and Mr. Rich sent for a towel and a soda pop for him. He felt better after that, and when he'd finished telling them everything, Mr. Rich and Mr. Ocean were smiling much more warmly.

"Well, you've been through quite an adventure." Mr. Rich said. "And I don't think the ship will be turning around any time soon, so if you're looking for a place to sleep, I'm sure my son Richie has a spare set of pajamas that'll fit you, and you can sleep in his room."

"Thank you Mr. Rich." Harry said.

He was so tired the rest of the night went on like a dream. He got pajamas on, and Richie told him about his life in the mansion, and somehow Harry found it in him to have an ice cream cone before bed.

As he lay somewhere between sleep and waking, he heard the three talk about him.

"No." The one called Rusty said.

"Come on Rusty…"

"No."

"Well I'm not sending him back." Mr. Rich said. "You heard what his relatives are like."

"He also said that a magic stick lead him into a high security vault."

"Maybe the stick's a metaphor for something? Or somebody, who's so terrible he blocked out the memory?" Mr. Rich suggested.

"I'm going for it." Mr. Ocean said.

"You're going for it?"

"I'm going for it."

"A son is the most priceless commodity a man can ask for." Mr. Rich said. "It's something you can't get through stealing it; only through hard work."

"...You've already made up your mind haven't you?" Rusty asked.

"Maybe." Mr. Ocean shrugged.

"Alright."

"Alright."

"Tess'll think he's adorable."

"Let's hope so."

"Oh don't worry, all girls go for the british accent."

Harry went to sleep that night with a really warm feeling.

* * *

_A/N: This fic is a little different from my other fics. First off; my other fics combine every single aspect of Disney, whereas I have not seen every Warner Bros. movie in existence, so this is the story of what would happen should only my favorite Warner Bros. films be in the same universe. Also, instead of having the events of the flims be canon, only the characters will be. So some things will turn out differently from what happens in the films. Also, since Warner Bros. has made so, so many DC movies and cartoons, different aspects will be used from each one to form a whole._


	2. The Best Present Ever

**Book One:**

**Harry's Eleven and the Mirror's Secrets**

**The Best Present Ever**

"SURPRISE!"

Harry woke up, fumbling around for his glasses, and looked up into the smiling faces of his family. Uncle Uncle Rusty had a huge cake for him, shaped like Ascot. His friend Richie and his father were both there too.

He really shouldn't have been surprised. He'd found the receipt for the cake yesterday. But… but he'd just realized…

This was the first birthday he'd spend with 'Daddy' Ocean.

"Happy birthday son." Ocean pulled Harry into a hug.

For the past four years, he'd been in jail. The two of them had been so close, Danny teaching Harry all of the tools of his trade. But Danny had made the mistake of bringing Harry along on one heist; the Ceasar Casino heist. Harry wasn't ready, and after a bit too much a bit too soon, Harry made on small mistake that ended up ending Danny.

Tess was furious for a long, long while, even moving next door to her grandfather in England just to be away from Danny. But after the four years were up, Harry helped them get back together again, even setting up the heist that still had Scotland Yard baffled; the theft of 70,000,000 Pounds from Ascot.

Harry returned the hug wholeheartedly. "No arguments there." He said.

Harry was left along to get dressed, picking out his favorite Superman T-shirt, and went downstairs. Half of the school was there, along with most of his daddy's crew. Harry was a pretty popular kid. There was a huge banner spread across the yard, reading 'Happy Birthday Harry!' and a cake that was five times the size of the one he was presented with in his bedroom.

Harry got several mystery novels and model building supplies. Richie got him some clothes (privately revealing they were bullet-proof clothes from his dad's personal scientist) and Dick Grayson got him a satellite phone that could get a signal absolutely anywhere on the planet guaranteed.

And, of course, Mr. Rich had airlifted a life-sized pirate ship into his backyard.

"First mate Richard!" Harry bellowed, wearing a bandana, a cutlass, and a fake hook hand.

"Aaargh, present and accounted fer me Captain!" Richie Stood next to him, wearing an eye patch. "The crew is ready to loot Frenchies and chew bubble-gum!"

"And why, praytell, can we not do both First Mate Richard? Second Mate Richard!" He called up to the bird's nest. "Hand out the Bubble Gum! Not one of my crew goes into battle without it!"

"Aye-aye Captain!" Dick Grayson swung through the ropes and canvases with a practiced ease that would have put Peter Pan to shame. He grabbed a sack and tossed it to the crew, spilling Willy Wonka's golden bubble gum coins among the mock pirates.

"Captain Ocean sir!" One of the girls looking through a spyglass called. "Looks like one-eyed Bart is approaching from the Port bow!"

"One-eyed Bart is already here young missy!" Harry's grizzled old neighbor called up to them. "You'd best be quicker on that spyglass in the future, or anybody could sneak up on you!"

Harry quickly ran over to the port side. Then to his other port side. "Mad-eye!" He called happily. "What are you doing here?"

"I heard the sounds of children screaming, and I came to see if I could help!"

"Help with the screaming, or help with stopping the screaming?"

Alastair 'Mad-eye' Moody was, possibly, the most pirate-like person Harry knew. He was Tess' grandfather, a retired Scotland Yard officer who looked like he'd been in more fights than twenty soldiers were in their entire lives; his whole body was covered in scars and stitches, a good chunk of his nose was missing, he had a silver peg leg that ended in ferocious lion claws, and he had an eyepatch. But that wasn't why Harry thought he was the most pirate-like person he knew.

His dad had taught him how to recognize the bulge when somebody was wearing a gun under their clothes. He'd saw the same bulges underneath Moody's Hawaiian shirt, and when questioned, Moody pulled out four guns. The first, he said, was for a psychological edge. It was big, and it could stop a wild bear, but it was inaccurate and he would only use it to scare punks. The second was the one he would use in most situations; it held twelve rounds of ammunition, and it would never jam, not even underwater or in the mud. The third gun was long-distance, built for accuracy, in case he needed to shoot somebody really far away. And the fourth gun, he said, was filled with 'special ammunition' for 'special occasions'.

He said he couldn't tell Harry what they were, because his enemies might torture him to find out if they knew he knew!

His walking staff had secret compartments filled with every useful gadget Harry could think of. And Moody claimed he hadn't even shown Harry all of them. Moody told Harry he had three knives in his boots at all times, and Harry had only ever been able to find the Bowie, even when Mad-eye was in another room and he had the boot to examine all for himself. That was why he was the most pirate-like person Harry had ever known.

He was grade A crazy.

"Would ye care to join me crew One-eye!" Harry asked.

"Not right now lad." Mad-eye said with a twisted grin. "Although I do have a present for you when you're ready. Swing by my house with your parents whenever you're done playing with your friends."

"Who was that?" Dick said, hanging down by a couple of ropes.

"He's our neighbor." Harry explained.

"He feels like some people I've met in Gotham." Dick said. "He's dangerous."

"Well yeah." Harry said, because it was obvious. "He says he's retired from Scotland yard, but they ask him for help in big cases because he's too good to let go. That's what he's _said_, but he keeps telling me not to believe what everybody tells him. I mean, he's crazy. So, yeah, dangerous." Harry returned to the helm of his ship. "Does the crew have their bubble gum! Good! We sail for the Bahamas!" His birthday guests let out an uproarious cheer.

It was the best birthday Harry had ever had. Made even more special because his daddy was there to celebrate it with him and all of his friends.

Towards the end of the day, all of his friends from school had headed home, and the Waynes had taken their helicopter back to Gotham. Mr. Rich and Rusty were shooting pool, and Harry was playing Richie's latest virtual reality game with daddy Ocean (and beating him into the ground) when he was interrupted.

"What did Grandpa want when he came over this morning?" Tess asked.

Harry wasn't in the habit of forgetting a future appointment. "He said he had a present for me when I had time to come over." He took off his virtual reality helmet for a brief glance out the window. "I was thinking of going over around sunset."

"Well that's nice of him." Tess smiled. "He's never gotten you a birthday present before."

"He says birthdays are only celebrations of one more year you haven't died yet. And I don't think he likes them, what with last Christmas."

"What happened last Christmas?" Danny asked, taking his own helmet off.

"I gave him a present." Harry shrugged. "I stuck around to see it opened, and he put it through two bomb detectors, and explained every way he could think of hiding a trap inside it to me. When he did open it, he put on protective gear first."

"What did you get him?" Danny asked, amused and curious.

"I got him some of my favorite Arsene Lupin novels." Harry said.

"And what did he think?"

"I saw him making new additions to his house to ensure nobody like Lupin could get in."

"Tess, are you sure he's safe?" Ocean asked.

"Oh yes." Tess said. "Grandpa was always suspicious presents, even when I was a kid."

"How safe?" Danny had never met Moody before.

"On a scale of one to ten, one being a police-man, and ten being your uncle Rodriguez, I'd list him at three. Come on Harry, it's getting dark. We should go see what Moody's got for you."

The three of them set off to the house next door. It was an old house, but it was well kept. The door opened before they reached the front porch. "Come in, come in." Moody gestured.

As the entered, Moody's cane shot out, blocking Danny Ocean. "So, you're the man who thinks he's good enough for my little girl." He growled.

"Grandpa…" Tess said, but Moody held up a hand to stop her.

"I suppose I don't have a say in the matter." He growled. "But if you hurt her again, I'm always looking for ways to slip my enemies poison, and I know a few who would pay handsomely for barbecued heart of human." He pulled his staff back and retreated back into the house.

"Tess, are you sure Harry's safe with him?" Ocean asked.

"Well, safe from anybody trying to hurt him." Tess said confidently, even as she flushed from embarrassment.

As they followed Moody into the dining room, they were met with a peculiar sight; a huge, enormous man, roughly the size of an elephant, was sitting down on one of the chairs which was creaking under his weight. His face was covered in an expanse of curly black hair, with only two beady eyes peeking out from under it. He wore old fashioned clothes, boots that could fit Harry's head inside of them, and a jacket with more pocket than he cared to count.

Moody picked up his present from the table where the giant sat. "Here you go." He said, handing it to Harry. "Don't worry they aren't fragile. Harry, I'd like to you to meet a friend of mine."

"Rubeus Hagrid." The giant leaned forward, and Harry let his hand get lost in the giant's surprisingly gentle shake. "Groundkeeper at Hogwarts school. I got you something." He reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a squashed present. "'Fraid I might've sat on it at some point, but no harm done I reckon."

Harry unwrapped Moody's present first, producing a pair of mirrors. "What are these?" He asked.

"Two-way mirrors." Moody said. "Just look in one, and you'll see out of the other, and vice versa. Instant communication."

Harry felt his mom's hand stiffen on his shoulder. "Thanks Grandpa." He said, and then he unwrapped the giant's present.

It was a photograph book. It was filled with pictures of people, two people in particular. And they were moving.

"What's this?" He asked Hagrid as he flipped through the book with awe.

"Well, Mad-eye here said you didn't have any pictures of yer parents." Hagrid said. Harry froze, and looked up at him. "So I asked around. You look so much like yer father you know. Except for yer eyes… you have yer mother's eyes."

"How do you know Harry's parents?" Ocean asked.

"How did you know my parents?" Harry asked simultaneously.

"Oh Grandpa, must you always make my life so bizarre?" Tess moaned.

"Well you were constantly vigilant like your grandpa had taught you, you'd have seen this coming." Moody said.

"I think you two had better sit down if this is what I think it is." Tess said, gesturing to the chairs.

"Did you know my parents?" Harry asked in shock.

"No, no." Tess said. "It's nothing like that, it's just… I'm going to let Grandpa explain it."

The three sat down. Mad-Eye Moody got up, and began pacing around the room, his heavy boot and his peg leg making peculiar sounds. "Now, the first thing you need to know, is that magic exists, and a select few people can use it."

"Ridiculous." Ocean scoffed.

"Exactly." Moody grinned, pointing at Ocean. "Exactly. Nobody believes we exist. Because we've told them we don't exist! We've convinced them that anybody who believes we exist is crazy. We have our own system of government, which reports only to the queen herself; no other member of the royal family is aware of our existence, and the Prime Minister is only aware of us as a courtesy. We have schools, we have hidden countries, we have whole wars that go unnoticed. And if anybody tells anybody else, then they're assumed to be mad."

"I think there's a prime example of that right in front of me." Ocean said.

Mad-eye pulled out his wand and muttered an enchantment. Harry stared in awe as a chair turned into a large dog.

"Impressive mirror work." Ocean said. "Or did you use trapdoors?"

Moody pointed his wand and raised him off the ground. "Where are the wires?"

Moody growled. "Hold up some fingers behind your back." Ocean did as he was told. "Three, and a thumb."

"Did you do that with mirrors, or is there a third person giving you signals?" Ocean asked, confused.

Moody tore off his eye patch and Harry saw why he called himself 'Mad-eye'. "I did it with my magical eye that can see through anything." He said, completely serious.

"Sure." Ocean said, still with skepticism.

Moody growled out another incantation. Ocean jumped upside down and stood on his head.

"How did you learn hypnotism?" Ocean asked.

Moody was beginning to show frustration. "Okay hotshot, how about this?" And he set Danny on fire.

"Daddy!" Harry yelled involuntarily.

"Grandpa what have you done!" Tess screamed.

Danny screamed out of sheer reflex, but stopped suddenly. "That's… odd. I don't feel like I'm burning."

"That's because you aren't." Moody grunted. "It's Uqhart's unburning fire. Now how do you explain that?"

"Hypnotism?" Ocean said. Harry thought his daddy sounded like he was grasping at straws now.

Moody turned off the fire and threw his hands up in the air in defeat. "Muggles."

"Muggles?" A completely unscorched Ocean asked.

"Yes. Muggles. People who can't use magic. People who insist on denying the obvious truth right in front of them out of some sense of superiority."

"Tess, what's going on?"

"It's just like he says Danny." Tess said, her head resting in her shaking hands. "Exactly as he says."

"But even if a race of wizards did exist, why wouldn't we have haerd about them before now?" Danny scoffed.

"Well, about the quarter of the wizard population don't want to let muggles know about them because they think muggles are soulless dirt-scratching animals. The other three-quarters don't want to tell the muggles because they're afraid if they do, the other quarter will realize that muggles are actually human beings, and the realization will drive them into a war."

"Muggles?" Ocean's hands made frantic gestures at Tess. "Are you hearing this! Muggles! What sort of mind would come up with this sort of stuff?"

"Exactly." Mad-eye said. "That's how you should know I'm not lying."

"This is… this is…"

"This is why I didn't tell you before now."

Tess' tears seemed to shake Danny up more than Moody's attempts at showing him magic. "Dad." Harry said, hoping to salvage this (he really didn't want to rob from Ascot again). "Remember when you told me never to raise my voice? Because it meant that something was happening that you couldn't control, and instead of confronting it you were running from it?"

"Al…right." Ocean said still watching his wife. "All right. Either magic really exists, and there's a secret society of wizards living under our noses the whole time calling us 'Muggles'… or the love of my life is part of an incredibly complex con… involving my adopted son…"

"Two roads lie before you." Mad-eye grinned. "One is mad, the other is just insane."

"Yeah…" Danny rubbed the back of his neck and sat back down next to Tess. He squeezed her hand gently, and their eyes met. They smiled. "Alright." He said. "Alright. Tell us more about wizards. Is Tess a…" He turned to her. "Are you a wizard? Not that there's anything wrong with that..."

"No." Mad-eye said. "Her mother was a Squib. That's what we call someone born to a wizard, but incapable of using magic. Tess is a muggle, like you."

"Are those the politically correct words?" Harry asked. Something about referring to people as 'Squibs' or 'Muggles' was offensive, instead of calling them 'people'.

"Of course." Mad-eye said. "Now, I'm no retired Scotland Yardy. I'm a retired Auror. Magic police. Of course, I'm not so much retired as I've gotten so good that they only need me for the very hardest of jobs. Like protecting young Harry here from Voldemort."

"Shhhhh!" Hagrid said fearfully.

Mad-eye rolled his eye. "You'll get used to that Harry. A lot of wizards are still scared witless 'He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named'."

"Who's Voldemort?" Harry asked.

"You shouldn't be telling him this!" Hagrid said in shock.

"Voldemort's the dark wizard who killed your parents!" Mad-eye said, triumphantly over Hagrid. "And some damn fools will try to keep this story from you, to keep your delicate eleven year old sensibilities from being traumatized by what you'll probably learn anyways, if any of your classmates have read a book about you."

"Woah, wait." Ocean held up his hand. "Somebody's trying to kill Harry?" Harry could hear the edge in his voice; the 'mess with my son, and I will destroy you' edge.

"Well yeah." Mad-eye said. "And even if there weren't, it's always good to assume. So when Harry left the protection of the Dursleys…"

"They were abusing him." Tess and Danny said simultaneously.

"What!" Hagrid roared, looking shocked at the very idea.

"He was more protected than you know." Mad-eye growled. "Okay, could everybody stop interrupting so I can start from the beginning?"

"So, Voldemort." Hagrid gasped. "Oh, stop it Hagrid. Voldemort lead a band of high-profile wizards called the Death Eaters and they laid siege to magical Britain. Dumbledore and I gathered together and Order composed specifically to stop them and included your parents young Mr. Potter. We made some headway; we managed to keep the Ministry from being overrun, and forced the Death eaters into using guerilla tactics instead of challenging us outright. But he was still winning. More people were dying every day. Anybody could have been a Death Eater, and that fear was swallowing magical Britain whole, like a snake."

"But then, and please hold in your skepticism Mr. Ocean…"

"You really shouldn't be telling him this." Hagrid said. "He's just a child."

Moody grimaced. "You don't give him enough credit Hagrid. He used to live with much more horrible people than my grand-daughter. He's no stranger to hardship, and trying to protect him from more pain will only hurt him more." His eye turned to Harry. "I suppose I should ask though. Do you want to know what happened to your parents? Everybody else knows, you'll probably find out anyway."

"I… want to know." Harry was still a little skeptical, but the people in the moving picture book did look like him.

"Your parents made themselves a target." Moody said. "There was a prophecy about a kid who would defeat Voldemort, and the enemy heard about it before Dumbledore could nip the spy in the bud. The prophecy claimed to know the person who would defeat Voldemort. The details allowed us to narrow it down to two options." He looked down on Harry grimly. "And you were one of them. Your parents, and the parents of the other boy, went into hiding. But unlike them, your parents didn't stay hidden. They continued working for the order while in hiding. So Voldemort attacked them first."

"Nobody knows what happened that night. You were the only witness. All we know is what we managed to gather from Voldemort and your parent's wands; Voldemort came into Godric's Hollow. He fought an impressive duel with your father, and then killed your mother outright. And then he cast a killing curse at you and… you somehow survived."

Moody frowned. "Nobody's ever survived a killing curse before. Whatever happened, Hagrid pulled you out of the ruins of your house that night, with nothing to show from your near death experience but that scar."

Harry's hand shot up to his forehead. He'd always wondered about his scar. "So how did I end up with… the Dursleys?"

"Well, your first godfather is in prison, your other godfather is a werewolf, and while the rest of the wizarding world jump at the chance to adopt somebody so famous, Dumbledore was worried that they would spoil you rotten, so he sent you to your only living relatives, the Dursleys."

"Well, I'm sure they would have done a great job of preventing me from being spoiled." Harry glowered.

"You remember Ms. Figg?"

"The cat lady who always invited me over to tea?" Harry asked.

"She was a spy from Dumbledore to make sure you were alright. She was to ensure that the Dursleys never treated you too horribly, to invite you over often and relieve you of the pressure, and get you the hell out of there if they started getting too abusive. Dumbledore's already had to resort to blackmail to get them to keep you in the first place, because of some powerful ritual magic that your mother put on you to protect you. However, things have worked out nicely. I've put the same ritual on my own children, meaning you not only have the same protection as long as you're with my Tess, but you've got me looking after you instead of Ms. Figg, and… well, I guess you're a little spoiled. But two out of three isn't bad, as long as you're not in a life and death situation."

Harry was stunned. All these years he'd thought it was just senseless suffering, but there was actually a plan behind it? "But if Voldemort is looking for me…" Harry began to ask.

"He isn't." Mad-eye said. "When his killing curse backfired, he died instead of you. My job is to keep you safe from Voldemort's followers, the Death Eaters. I think, personally, a wizard like him? He'll be back. But I think Hagrid might have a nervous breakdown if I tell him some of my theories about how Voldemort might be alive. Anyways, that just about sums up why you are where you are. Now, the reason I'm telling you all this." He turned to the giant. "Hagrid?"

Hagrid's eyes had teared up around the part where Harry's parents had died. He reached into his pocket, and produced a handkerchief, and then a letter that looked like it had been nibbled on by a mouse or two. In bright emerald ink on the envelope was inscribed the receiver of the Letter; _Harry Potter, 12 King's Drive, The Bedroom with a view._

Harry's hand shook as he opened it. It was an invitation to a magical school called Hogwarts. The invitation listed various schoolbooks whose authors sometimes sounded like puns, and asked that he bring a cauldron. The invitation warned him not to bring a broomstick to school for the first year, but accepted owls, cats, and toads for pets. And the invitation wanted him to send a reply by owl.

"I… uh… yes." Harry said. His heart was pounding excitedly, and he was barely restraining a cry for joy. Then he realized what he just said, and the pounding in his chest became more pronounced."Yes. Yes!" He jumped out of his seat. "Yes! Are you telling me that I'm wanted for a magical school! To learn magic?" He felt like his smile would tear his face right off. "Yes! Yes! A hundred times yes!"

"Harry, are you sure you know what you're doing?" His dad asked, looking at him curiously."

"Of course I do. I'm going on an adventure. I'm exploring new frontiers. I'm going to meet new people, and learn new things, and do new things. I'm going to explore Hogwarts from top to bottom, I'm going to find out what my first parents were like, and I'm going to be the best that I can be! I'm going to do every exciting thing I've ever dreamed of doing, and I'm going to do it with a flair, and I'm going to be the greatest magician in the world! And if this is all some sort of elaborate con, than Mom and Grandpa have earned their right to con me because this has been without a doubt the best birthday present ever!"

Ocean looked at his son, with a strange mixture of pride, worry, and confusion. "Well, as long as you know what you're doing."

* * *

_A/N: Mad-eye Moody. He doesn't get the chance to do much during the books, but I think the fact that it took Voldemort to finally bring him down says something. As for Batman and Robin; This Batman has the same origin story as the Dark Knight (trained by Ras Al Ghul, etc), but like most DC based characters in this fic will mostly be like his version from the DCAU. Robin, on the other hand, is like how he is in Young Justice when he's Dick Grayson, but when he's Robin expect him to be like he is in Teen Titans. Also, I've divided this story into seven books. The overall story will be calls Harry's Eleven and the Dark Knights, but each book will have an alternate title. Read and Review!_


	3. Shopping and Stake Outs

**Book One**

**Shopping and Stake Outs**

"All year?" Richie asked.

"Yeah, that's the way it is at boarding schools." Harry said. "I will see you during Christmas vacation."

"Well why can't I come with you?" Richie asked. "Why do you even have to go to that school anyway? I thought we agreed we'd be going to Doyle High?"

"Something else came up." Harry said. "I wish we could go to school together, but it's a very exclusive school and… well…" Harry sighed. He would never lie to a friend, but he still felt extraordinarily guilty about twisting the facts around. "I'm in because it's the school my parents wanted me to attend."

"Your… parents?" Richie asked.

"My first parents." Harry said."Before Daddy Ocean and Tess. My uncle always said they were drunks who died in a car crash. But apparently, they were good people, and they went to Hogwarts and were friends with a lot of the professors and the headmaster. And I'm thinking… I'm thinking that if I go there, I'll find out more about them."

Richie looked at him sadly, for a long time. "All right. I understand. I'll see you at Christmas."

Harry grinned mischievously like his dad had taught him to. "I wouldn't miss it."

He saw Richie and his parents off, and then went over to his Mad-eye's house. In truth, Richie didn't understand. Ever since Harry had been in the squalor of his uncle's house, he'd longed for adventure, and dreamed of being somewhere else. His sense of excitement and adventure only grew when Danny invited Harry to live with him. Being a gentleman thief was certainly an adventurous life, but compared to being a gentleman thief in a world of secret magic? He had no choice but to go to Hogwarts. In fact, he rather thought he had a duty to go to Hogwarts.

"Are we all going to fit in that sidecar?" Danny asked, as Hagrid ot on the motorcycle.

"Step inside." Mad-eye gestured. And Danny did… then jumped back out again.

"Woah! What!"

Harry rushed forward to see what his dad saw, and in a rush of disorientation, he was inside of a sidecar the size of an actual car. He poked his head back outside, and after another feeling of vertigo, he realized that the sidecar was bigger on the inside.

"Now that is cool." Setting his dad on fire and making him float were cute parlor tricks, but this was actual practical magic.

"Yes." Tess said. She was smiling, and holding Danny close. "I always thought so."

The trip to Diagon Alley was fast. It turns out that not only did Hagrid's motorcycle have a sidecar that was bigger on the inside, but it could also fly. And boy, did it fly. Harry had never been in a plane with an open cockpit before.

_I love flying. _He thought.

They landed in downtown London. Harry recognized it from his days as a runaway. The pizza place on the corner was still there. He remembered a short little man come out of it one day, squeal happily, shook his hand, and bought him a whole pizza. Looking back, Harry realized that this man was probably a wizard, and that he'd been kind because Harry was some sort of celebrity.

Looking back, a lot of things could be explained by wizardry.

The five of them entered a small pub called the leaky cauldron. Perhaps it was just Harry, but it seemed to him that nobody on the streets even noticed it.

The Leaky Cauldron was a hub of activity. It was dimly, and it had an old ancient feeling to it. But that didn't seem to matter to the robed occupants, who were laughing and cheering like they had nothing better to do. One group of wizards in the corner seemed to be having a drinking contest, but each time they took a shot the drinker blew fire at his opponent.

Harry had never seen the appeal of drinking something that dulled your mind and senses, but seeing a fire-breathing-drink contest made him suddenly wish he was of age.

"Mornin' Hagrid!" The cheery bartender called. "Usual fer you?"

"Ah, no thanks Tom." Hagrid said. "Strictly business today. Jus' escorting young Harry here to get his school supplies."

The bar went suddenly quiet. The man in the drinking contest was mid-shot when he head, and began choking on his fire drink. A man next to him whipped out a wand and put out the flame, not taking his eyes off of Harry.

"Bless my soul." Tom said. "It can't be… it's Harry Potter."

He half ran half stumbled out from behind the counter. He reached out for a shake, and Harry obligingly gave him his hand. "It's an honor sir." The bartender said, as if he were addressing the Queen. "Truly, an honor. Welcome back."

"Thank you." Harry said, giving the bartender a grin for his troubles. Like dad said; it really pays to be friendly to everybody you meet. Because among gentlemen of fortune, if two people pay the same guy the same amount of money, the guy would accept the job from the one he liked best.

But also like his dad also said; it doesn't pay to be too well known. And it seemed like, as one, the pub's crowd surged forward with outstretched hands –

"Ahem."

The crowd stopped, as if they were seeing Mad-eye for the first time.

Harry looked at his great-grandpa, who suddenly appeared to be taller than anybody in the room (except maybe Hagrid), and he was suddenly radiating an air of danger. Despite his Hawaiian shirt and baggy shorts, he looked like a real wizard, standing tall against his staff and his eye roving the crowd. "We don't have time to dawdle." He said firmly, as if it settled matters.

As one, just like they'd gotten up, the crowd sat back down.

Then Mad-eye's cheerful countenance returned. "Well, come on then Harry."

After that, there were only two people who came up to shake Harry's hand, (after he recognized Daedalus Diggle as the man who'd given him pizza all those years ago, and went to shake HIS hand). Neither of them looked at place in the Leaky Cauldron. One of them wore a crisp robe of pure black. His hair was the same color of his robes and slicked back, and he wore sunglasses, something Harry considered very unwizardly. The other looked like the epitome of a wizard, although in a muggle way (Harry couldn't believe he was already thinking with words like muggle). He was a broad shouldered man, wearing a crisp tuxedo and a broad grin. He had a thick beard and he wore a violet turban, and he looked like he should be on a stage.

"Well well well!" The stage magician proclaimed in a booming voice. "Harry Potter! I hope you don't mind us introducing ourselves Alastair, after all we will be teaching him this fall." He bowed deeply, shaking Harry's hand. "Zachary Zatanna, Mr. Potter, at your service. I shall have the pleasure of being your Defense Against the Dark Arts class this year. And this is my colleague –"

"Anderson." The lean man said. "Professor Anderson. Runes class." He didn't shake Harry's hand.

"Yes. I believe it's going to be an exciting year for all of us." Zatanna said, seemingly unaware that his companion didn't seem to get excited about anything.

"What do Runes and Defense Against the Dark Arts teach?" Harry asked, eager to begin his immersion into magic early.

"Oh, Defense Against the Dark Arts is the last class you'll ever need, not with your history." Zatanna said, indicating Harry's scar. "It usually teaches defense against dark creatures like Trolls, Dragons, Werewolfs, and Boggarts. Of course, due to the variety of the teachers the subject material also varies."

"Why do the teachers vary so much?" Harry asked.

"Oh, there's a curse on the position." Zatanna explained, in the same boisterous, nonchalant tone. "No professor ever lasts more than one year. Personally, my curriculum will deal less with magic, and more with how to use magic. Of course, you won't be able to take Professor Anderson's class until your third year."

"If you keep an open mind, you can learn from me no matter which year you're in." Professor Anderson said. "Zatanna, I think we should leave Harry to his shopping now."

"Hmm? Oh yes, yes." Zatanna bowed again and strode off.

Professor Anderson looked down at Harry, then bowed. "It's an honor to meet you now Harry Potter. I think we can expect great things from you someday." And with that he took his leave.

"Hnnn, come on Harry." Moody shuffled forward, moving their group along out the back door.

"Will a lot of people be doing that?" Danny asked as they entered an alleyway. "Making him famous for something he did as a baby."

"Knowing Harry, he'll be famous on his own accord soon enough." Mad-eye said, whipping out his wand. "Still, don't trust Anderson kid. He's hiding something." He prodded several bricks in the wall in rapid succession, and put his wands back in its holster.

The bricks in the wall began to shift, like some intricate block puzzle. As the wall peeled itself open, light began to shine through the hole. As the hole grew, the light grew with it, somehow managing to rival a rainbow in color.

"You're right son." Danny said. "If this _is_ a con, then they deserve to take us in."

"Welcome to Diagon Alley." Hagrid said, beaming.

Harry advanced slowly into Diagon Alley. His dad had taken him to Vegas once, and this reminded him of the strip. It didn't have any casinos, but it was so bright and colorful. There were shops everywhere, selling so many things that Harry never knew existed. The cobblestone under his feet, and the smell… oh wow, the smell. It was mouthwatering, like smelling pizza baking in the oven, except it smelt of mint, and when he looked around he saw it was ice cream.

"Look!" A group of kids his age were gathered around a window for a shop selling broomsticks. "It's the Nimus 2000! The fastest model yet!"

_Fastest… did they sell flying brooms?_

Instantly, Harry wanted a flying broom more than anything in his life. He realized he was jumping to conclusions here, but if they didn't have one, then he would make one with the magic he was bound to learn.

Cauldron stands, Ollivander's wands, Ga'Hoole Owlery…

Suddenly a hand smacked him hard in the head.

"Ow! Grandpa Moody!"

"If you were constantly vigilant like I taught you, I wouldn't have snuck up on you." Moody said. "Sight seeing is fine, but keep aware of your surroundings. You're a celebrity Harry, you have to keep your eyes open."

"I am keeping my eyes open." Harry said. "Does that store sell flying broomsticks?"

"Yes." Moody chuckled. "Interested? First years aren't allowed brooms, but as I recall, your father was quite the flyer. First things first though. We have to go to Gringotts."

"Gringotts?"

"The wizard bank. You need some money for supplies." Moody said. "And Hagrid has to run an errand for Dumbledore."

Gringotts was a towering marble building. Two giant doors opened, and the group passed under and engraving.

_Enter, stranger, but take heed  
Of what awaits the sin of greed  
For those who take, but do not earn,  
Must pay most dearly in their turn.  
So if you seek beneath our floors  
A treasure that was never yours,  
Thief, you have been warned, beware  
Of finding more than treasure there._

"An impressive warning." Danny said. "I take it Gringotts has a reputation for being secure?"

Hagrid laughed. "Ain't no safer place. 'Cept maybe Hogwarts. Gringotts is run by goblins. You'd have to be mad to try an' rob it."

And run by goblins it was. Little, wrinkled old goblins, with big noses, sharp teeth, wearing perfectly ironed suits. Harry would've thought it was funny, except they were so terrifying. As they passed, every one of them glared at the group, or more accurately glared at Moody.

"Never trust a Goblin Harry." Moody whispered into his ear. "Oh, you can trust most of them with money alright, their culture has evolved around currency. But they're cunning, and don't expect to trust any of them in matters other than money."

"They can't be all bad." Harry said.

"Come on, I know a Goblin who I distrust less than usual." Moody led Harry and their group to a Goblin sorting lumps of gold behind a counter. "Evenin' Griphook."

Griphook looked up. "You have a lot of nerve coming here Mad-eye." Griphook said.

"What else is new?"

"That shirt I believe. Well, since you seem intent on ruining my day, what can I do for you? I know that you cannot possibly be foolish enough to think you can reopen an account."

"I've come to help Harry Potter make a withdrawal."

Griphook leaned over the counter and sneered a toothy grin at Harry, forcing him to take a step back. "And does mister Harry Potter have his key?"

"Oh, I have it in here somewhere." Hagrid shuffled around through his pockets.

"Here Hagrid, I've got it." Moody reached into one of his many pockets and produced the key.

"Ah, thank ye Mad-eye. Oh, and there's something else as well." Hagrid pulled a crinkled up envelope out of his pocket. "A letter from Dumbledore."

Griphook sliced through the envelope with a single clawed finger, giving Harry the shivers. "Very well." He said upon reading. He sneered over the counter. "I assume you've told Mad-eye? Or have you just handed him the opportunity to read the note?"

"Oh! Er…"

"It's alright Hagrid." Mad eye said to the slightly befuddled giant. "Dumbledore knows that I would know. Well Griphook? Everything in order?"

"It… appears so." Griphook smoothed his oily hair back and spat onto the note. He placed it in an ashtray as it slowly burned up. "Walk this way then."

"So tell me about Gringotts." Danny said, as the group walked with Griphook. "How much money is in my son's vault, and is it safe?"

"'Is it safe?'" Scoffed Griphook. "This is Gringotts. Nobody has ever managed to steal from these vaults. Three of histroy's greatest thiefs have died under these halls. Irene Adler, the greatest thief of all time, barely managed to escape with her life, and never came out of hiding for fear of Goblin retribution. Her career died with Gringotts."

"Interesting." Danny said, with a gleam in his eye.

Tess elbowed him hard. "What about Harry's vault? I didn't know he had any money."

"Oh, indeed." He gestured to the cart. "This way if you please."

Harry and the others got onto the cart. As soon as they were all inside, they took off. It was like flying with Hagrid, except faster, and with the shaking of the cart, and underground. They veered left and right around stalagmites and stalactites, and it felt to Harry like they would fly off the racks with every twist and turn.

"These carriers can only be driven by a Goblin!" Griphook explained to Danny over the wind in the tunnels. "Gringotts bank is only a station point for the carriers. We have vaults all over the country, accessable only through our passages. Each one is contained within a solid thirty foot wall of magically enforced stone, impossible to apparate into. The higher security vaults are down as deep as forty miles. And those are only the measures we've taken that I'm allowed to reveal to you. Do you think your 'son's' fortune is safe enough Mr. Ocean?"

As they rounded a tight corner, Harry was certain he saw a burst of flame. "Stop badgering him Danny." Tess said, annoyed at Danny's thiefy nature. "I'm sure it's more than safe enough. Mr. Griphook. How much money is in Harry's vault, and why does he have a vault? Did my grandpa set up…"

"Your grandfather is not welcome in Gringotts." Griphook growled. The Carrier slowed to a stop. "Here we are. Vault number Six hundred and Eighty Seven. Key please." Harry handed him his key and the goblin bean to unlock the vault.

"Mr. Potter is the last surviving member of one of the Most Noble and Ancient houses." Griphook said. "His lineage can be traced back to the times of Gringott, this bank's founder. There are very few of the Most Noble and Ancient Houses left. The Malfoys, the Longbottoms… the Black line has almost ended too. Mr. Potter's father was a spendthrift, especially when it came to his 'friends'. But he didn't leave his son with nothing."

The vault door opened. There in front of Harry were mounds of gold coins, columns of silver, heaps of bronze.

"We've adopted an aristocrat." Tess said, squeezing Danny's hand.

"How much is it?" Mad-eye asked.

"Oh let's see… five hundred and twelve knuts, one hundred Sickles, five hundred and seventy one thousand galleons. That's around three million pounds."

"And in American dollars?" Danny asked.

"Hmmmmm… around four million, two hundred American dollars. Both figures are, of course, including the hefty bounty Harry collected for defeating he who must not be named. We have yet to add that sum to Mr. Potter's total, due to Mr. Potter being mistaken for dead."

"What?" Danny asked.

Griphook sneered. "Maybe you should ask your grandfather about that. At any rate, there should be enough for Mr. Potter's school supplies."

Hagrid helped Harry count out enough money. Apparently, galleons were worth five pounds. Each galleon was worth seventeen sickles, each sickle was worth twenty nine knuts. Griphook stood at the side and sneered all the way through.

"Where's the rest of it?" Mad-eye suddenly asked.

"There's more!" Harry and his mom asked simultaneously.

"This is the total of Mr. Potter's account." Griphook mumbled. "Set aside by his parents and Dumbledore to pay for Harry's education should anything happen to them. However, when he is of age he will be able to access his family's ancestral vault.

Mad-eye nodded, satisfied. But Harry wasn't about to let it go. "So why don't my parents have access?"

Danny nodded. Harry could tell they were thinking along the same lines; they would give Danny the key, so Harry could see who was inside.

"Your parents do have access." Griphook said. "Unfortunately, they are dead, and we have no record of adoption."

That was a sore point. Danny had never been the type to form legal attachments. He treated Tess with every bit the love and devotion he would a wife, she knew she was his wife in everything but name, yet they'd never gotten married. And while Harry lived under their roof, they were only his parents in an emotional sense. They couldn't adopt him if they tried, because then the Dursleys would be able to find him.

"If you have any records of adoption you could turn them in to Gringotts…" Griphook offered, accidentally twisting the knife in further.

How dare he? Harry thought to himself. How dare he keep my family vault from me?

_Well he does have a point I suppose. Still… it's my vault._

_That's right. He's probably acting out because I'm related to Mad-eye. Of all the biased, unproffesional…_

_It's practically my duty to at least check up on my inheritance before turning seventeen. Irene Adler managed to get in, and get out without being discovered. Although, she didn't take anything with her, and she got identified._

_Well, looks like somebody was kind enough to set a record for him to beat._

"No, no need for that." Harry said, in response to the Goblin's question. "I'll wait until I turn seventeen. Thanks for offering though." Tess looked concerned, but Danny merely raised his eyebrow, and stroked his chin. Harry responded by scratching his left ear, and Danny grinned a little. It was their code for when they were casing a place. No doubt Danny would keep his eye out and help Harry Analyze the security afterwards.

After they had finished, they carried on to vault number seven hundred and thirteen. "What's in there?" Harry asked.

"Can't tell you Harry." Hagrid said importantly. "Top secret stuff."

Griphook didn't ask Hagrid for a key. He simply ran his finger against the vault door. That would be problematic if Harry was going to rob them. He didn't know wether it was the Goblin's will that opened the door, or the Goblin's finger, and when he was this new to magic he wasn't going to make any assumptions.

The door peeled back, revealing a mostly empty room. But Harry's sharp eyes caught one, small package in the middle of it before Hagrid's giant frame obscured it. When he returned to the carrier, the vault was empty.

* * *

"Well, that was exciting." Danny said. "I think we should have some lunch before we continue."

They went down to the ice cream parlor. Harry was pleasantly surprised to find that they offered Willy Wonka confections. In a strange sort of way, it made sense that Willy Wonka was a wizard and Harry wasn't surprised. But in another sense… he began to realize that the world was a much bigger place. He began to wonder what contributions the wizarding world made to the muggle world while remaining inconspicuous. How much of the history he knew was full of wizards unremembered?

He wondered how many people would remember him?

"So… I want to know some things." Danny said.

"Me too." Harry said. They both sat in the same way, their body language conveying a sense of authority and expecting answers.

Mad-eye finished his ice cream and took a small silver top out of his pocket. He set it down on the table, and as it spun, the sounds of the outside world began to be drowned out. "Alright, shoot." He said.

Harry and Danny shared a glance. He decided to let Danny go first.

"All right. You said Dumbledore was Hogwarts' Headmaster. But from the sound of it, you and Hagrid passing on secret messages, all these secrets, it sounds like he rules the world."

"Dumbledore is the greatest wizard who ever lived." Hagrid said firmly.

Mad-eye snickered. "He almost does. If he ran for minister he'd win by a landslide. But no, he's satisfied being Hogwarts' headmaster."

"The thing to understand about Dumbledore is, he's lived through two wars. The first was with the Dark Wizard Grindlewald, and the other with Voldemort. Both Grindelwald and Voldemort were prodigies in the wizarding world, wizards with magic untold of since the times of Hogwart's founders. Dumbledore fought Grindlewald to a standstill, and Voldemort was smart enough to avoid him like the plague. That is why he is a respected wizard. That is why people listen to him; because they feel safe with somebody who has proven that he is willing to die to defend him."

Mad-eye shrugged. "In a way, he is the unofficial leader of the Wizarding World. But he doesn't want that. So he does what he loves, teaching, and only uses his power, both magical and influential, if he's the only one who can. And a lot of the time, he is the only one who can do the things he does, and he feels he has a responsibility to them. Next question?"

Harry was about to speak up, but his Danny interrupted him. "What do you mean he can do things other wizards can't?"

"You see, most wizards and witches develop magically at the same rate. You get some who have less magical power, you have some who aren't willing to work hard to get magic, and you have some people who're just stupid. But for the most part, wizards and witches will learn magic at the same pace. Just like you muggles will learn math and science and all that at generally the same pace."

"But then there are the prodigies. The Mozarts, the Beethovens. Those who have more inherent magic then others. Spells come easy to them, the simpler spells become more powerful than their peers, and the more complex spells have a signature flair to them."

"These prodigies are rare. There are probably no more than five in a generation. And then, not all magical prodigies have magic corresponding to their brain size. I once knew an exceptional witch, name of Molly, could've rivaled most of the dark wizards I've met as an auror if she hadn't gotten married and became a housewife. Likewise, one of your teachers, Professor McGonagall, is a prodigy. But she's a stickler for the rules. She never experimented, never forged her own path, never experimented until she became the foremost expert on transfiguration in the world."

"Now Dumbledore, he's a prodigy, and he knows how to use what he has. I went to school with him. He was a year older than me, and we had McGonnagell as our Head Girl. He was obsessed with finding the deep secrets of magic. Not just the flashy stuff wizards today like, but real old fire and thunder stuff, Eldritch power, enough to rebuild Hogwarts from scratch if he needed to. We hung out with the smartest people in the world. I remember one time in Italy… but that's another story. The point is, Dumbledore knows what he's doing, and so do I. I don't think you need to concern yourself with wizard's affairs Mr. Ocean. I don't think you could understand them if you tried."

Harry interrupted before his dad could retort or ask another question. "Griphook said that he thought I was dead. Why?"

Mad-eye shifted in his seat. "Oh, just Goblin superstition. On the night Voldemort died, Dumbledore had Hagrid take you to your relatives, and announced he's sent you someplace safe. Nobody thought he'd be mad enough to send you to live with muggles, so you being the last of your line, rumors cropped up that you died with Voldemort. Oh the next month when word spreads that you're alive will be fun. Everybody'll be running around like headless chickens. The people who wrote conspiracy theory books to cash in on your death will have to eat their words!"

A look of utter childish glee crossed Mad-eye's face at the thought of justice being done. The childishness of it all was thoroughly ruined by the many, many scars on his face, and his magical eye still spinning in its socket as if somebody could attack at any moment from any direction.

The effect was unsettling.

"Er… and how can you tell if somebody's a magical prodigy?" Harry asked. "Like, what if I were…"

"I don't think you are." Moody said. "If you feel like you're advancing through school faster than anybody you can tell me, but watching you grow up I don't think you are." He leaned back. "Any more questions? About Dumbledore and secrets?"

Danny was still frowning, possibly from being told that he couldn't understand if he tried. But he shook his head, and said "No, that's everything I think."

"I think I have one more." Harry said. "Grandpa… why don't the Goblins like you?"

Mad-eye snickered. "Sorry for getting you into their bad books. Well. It may have something to do with the fact that I don't trust them. That I'm the only wizard to keep my money in a private location, not Gringotts. Maybe it's because I'm onto them, or because they're insulted that I think their up to something."

He leaned forward. "But I think the biggest reason is because of my wife. She was a beautiful woman. Her name was Irene Adler." He picked up the spinning top and the noises of wizard families enjoying ice cream grew louder. "Now come on. You haven't seen half of Diagon Alley yet, and we still have to buy you school supplies."

* * *

Mad-eye had taken the time to buy an owl for Harry. She was a white snowy owl, and Mad-eye had taken the liberty also of buying a small owl helmet, a small owl knife, and a secure puzzlebox of sorts to hold letter in.

"Why would I need all of that?" Harry asked.

"Magical owls are very special creatures." Mad-eye said. "They've formed an alliance with wizards since the days of Merlin. They're very intelligent creatures, and like Goblins have become the wizarding world's bankers, owls have becomes the world's messengers."

"So she's intelligent?" Harry asked, looking at the owl on his arm as it bowed to him.

"Yep."

"And wizards make them carry messages?"

"We don't make them do anything." Mad-eye said. "Owl messengers have the most prestige of any owl, asides from their kings. They're akin to knights errant." The owl on Harry's arm nodded enthusiastically.

"Are cats and toads magical too?"

"Most wizard's cats are part kneazel. Extremely useful for detecting untrustworthy persons. I used to have one, but its idea of untrustworthy differed from my own. I think it was faulty, sent by my enemies for nefarious purposes."

"And what about toads?"

"Oh, there's an old wife's tale about toads being an extension of their owner's minds, making them smarter. But anybody who thinks they need a Toad to be smart is probably a few twigs short of a broom anyway."

Then Mad-eye bought Harry a mokeskin pouch, which was bigger on the inside. It wasn't on his school list but was, to quote, "Preparation is the key to survival. Nobody at Hogwarts will suspect a first year student of having a mokeskin pouch, and they'll assume that your only advantage is your wand."

Harry had to ask who would attack him at Hogwarts and why would they take his wand away before attacking him?

"I don't know, but it's what you'd least expect, so you'd best begin expecting it. Constant vigilance!"

Harry had long ago decided not to press issues like this, and just accept his grandpa's paranoia.

And then they went wand shopping. The wand maker, Mr. Ollivander, was an odd man, but no odder then any other wizard Harry had met. He speculated on Hagrid and Mad-eye's wands for a moment while a magical tape took Harry's measurements. He then proceeded to pluck a wand out of the many in his shelves, and handed it to Harry.

The first couple of times Harry broke a vase in Ollivander's shop, and then shot several wands out of their well ordered places in the shop. Harry apologized heavily – until Ollivander's eyes went wide and he picked one of the cases up off the floor.

"I wonder…"

And that was when Harry found out that his wand had the same special phoenix core as the man who killed his parents.

Bad news for the wandmaker.

"What game are you trying to play Ollivander?" Mad-eye growled, pinning the old wandmaker to the counter.

Hagrid pulled him off. "Now now Mad-eye, it's the wand what chooses the wizard."

Ollivander nodded eagerly. "It is a little odd I suppose. I tend to think it's a sign of greatness. The same phoenix who donated a feather to… You know who's wand… is Dumbledore's pet phoenix. There's an air of destiny around that phoenix. And I believe we shall see great things from Mr. Potter."

"Don't give me that." Mad-eye said menacingly. "I'm on to you Ollivander... I'll be watching you..."

Harry didn't particularly care. Up until now, it felt like he was in the wrong story. Like he was in a fantasy story, when he should be in a heist story. He half expected it to be some elaborate hoax.

But feeling the warmth rush up his arm, as he held the wand in his hand…

_This is real. I can really do magic._

Mad-eye was… well, moody. He kept muttering about Ollivander, and having words with Dumbledore, and constant vigilance, and researching phoenixes and wands. Harry was glad that his grandpa was looking out for him. He wondered what he'd come up with for an explanation. The relationship with Voldemort was interesting, but not really important. He was dead right?

_No, good ol' paranoid grandpa thinks Voldemort survived somehow._

Harry thought about that.

_It is possible I suppose. Could be more of his paranoia. But, better safe than sorry. Constant vigilance!_

The last shop they visited was Madame Milkin's robe shop. Mad-eye told Harry to pay attention so when he got home he'd be able to adjust his bullet-proof birthday present to fit under his rooms. Harry would have asked whether Mad-eye expected students in a magic school to pull a gun on him, but he actually knew his grandpa.

"I'm going to use Madame Milkin's fireplace." Moody said. "Wizards can travel through fireplaces. I'll escort Hagrid through, and then come right back."

Mad-eye and Hagrid moved to the back room, and Danny and Harry waited for Madame Milkin. "Ah yes." She said looking down at Harry. "Harry Potter. Pleased to meet you. Well, come on then, let's get you fitted. I hope you don't mind, we already have a student in the fitting room…"

"Excuse me." Said a voice so icy, it could stop a volcano from erupting. Harry turned and a firm face old lady came through the door, escorting a pale faced little girl. She wasn't pale from fear, just from a severe lack of tan, which contrasted frighteningly with her bright pink hair.

"I need school uniforms for my charge." She said formally.

"Well, you can settle yourself in while we deal with our current customers. You have our assurance that we'll be finished quickly."

The stiff lady sniffed impatiently. "Wait here for your uniform student 666." She said to her charge and left.

Somehow, the woman reminded Harry of his aunt Petunia. He was surprised that she would call the girl by a number instead of a name, but she seemed used to the treatment. She just stared at the trio of boys with her catlike eyes, and sat down.

Harry was ushered onto a stand next to two other boys and witches began to take his measurements. Next to him was a boy with hair so blonde it might have been bleached, and a face narrow and serpentine. The boy next to him was smaller and stockier, and he wore sunglasses and a grim expression.

"So, you're bound for Hogwarts too?" The blonde one asked.

Harry nodded. "That's right." The boy on the other side said.

"I'm Malfoy." The boy said. "Draco Malfoy. Slytherin. I haven't been sorted yet, but it's bound to happen."

"I'm Eli." The other boy said.

"Is that an American accent Eli?" Draco sniffed.

"Yeah, I'm from Gotahm City." Eli said.

"I have a friend from Gotham City." Harry said. "What brings you all the way to England?"

"I moved here to stay with my grandma after my parents…" Eli trailed off.

"Ah, I understand." Harry said, and he really did understand. "Gotham can be dangerous. Was it the scarecrow attack or…"

Eli nodded.

"Oh. I'm so sorry." Draco said.

"And who are you?" Harry asked the cat eyed girl.

Her face was still blank. "My name is Juliet Landau." She said.

"Why did that woman call you…"

"I attended H.I.V.E. academy." Juliet said. "Students at H.I.V.E. are to be referred to only by number, until they earn a name."

"That's disgusting." Eli said.

"I heartily agree. I've never heard of H.I.V.E…. is it some sort of Muggle school?"

Juliet nodded. Her face was still eerily blank.

"Muggles." Draco spat. "They really are barbarians. I take it you're a mudblood then?" Juliet nodded. "Urgh. It's sad how they'll let anybody into Hogwarts these days."

Harry, expecting something reassuring to come from Draco's mouth, was shocked. He didn't know what a Mudblood was, but it became clear that it was insulting.

"You're a mudblood too I'll wager?" Draco asked Eli. "Those things on your face are a dead giveaway."

Eli grimaced. "They're sunglasses. I wear them because I'm blind."

"Blind?" Draco asked, incredulously. "How can you be blind?"

"I was born blind." Eli answered simply. "Professor Sprout took me to St. Mungos when she heard, but they can't give me back something I never had."

Harry thought this was rather sad. But Draco just shrugged and said; "Well, if you were a real wizard, you wouldn't have been born blind."

Harry's blood boiled. The casual way Draco had just said that… like it wasn't even an insult, just a statement of fact… like he was being really kind by explaining to them what losers they were. Then he remembered where he'd heard the name Malfoy before; Griphook had mentioned it was one of the Most Noble and Ancient houses. He guessed that Draco had been born with a silver spoon in his mouth. And it actually made him sad to think about it.

He suddenly realized that Draco was staring at him. "Are you… I mean… Are you Harry Potter?"

"Yes." Harry replied confused, until he remembered that he'd forgotten for a moment that he was a celebrity.

"Ah, of course. I'm sorry, I didn't see your scar, although anybody who's anybody knows who you are." Draco said, quickly regaining his composure. The other boy raised an eyebrow, but didn't turn his head, and Juliet stared at him curiously. "There were rumors flying around that you're dead. Where have you been all these years?"

Harry was, thankfully, spared answering. He couldn't figure out why he was speechless, just something in the boy's tone made him think twice about answering. "Excuse me." Eli said. "I don't mean to sound ignorant, but who is Harry Potter?"

"Like I said." Draco said. "Anybody who's anybody."

"I've been living with my adopted parents." He said. "And with my great-grandfather."

Draco turned his attention to Harry's parents, and attempted a quick bow before the tape made him stand straight again.

_That arrogant little kiss-up!_

"Who are you?" Juliet asked, quietly. Her piearcing eyes seemed to bore into Harry.

Draco rolled his eyes. "You'll soon find that some wizards are better than others Harry. You don't want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there."

"Well, what makes you the right sort?" Harry asked annoyed. And surprisingly, his annoyance showed. He remembered what his father taught him; if you let your anger show, it means you're not in control. Always stay in control.

"I have pure blood." The blonde kid said. "My family is pure wizards on either side for generations. You can tell even before you ask these two," He gestured at Eli and the Juliet. "That they were raised by Muggles."

"I was raised by Muggles." Harry said.

Malfoy's eyebrows shot up to the roof. Harry wished he could take a picture of him at that moment. He knew then why Danny took such pleasure from robbing from people who deserved it instead of people who could afford it.

"What? It wasn't obvious? You couldn't tell just by looking at me?"

Draco shot a wary glance at Harry's parents. "Well, being raised by muggles and being a mudblood are entirely different things." Draco hurriedly trying to cover up his mistake.

"Well of course." Harry said. "But only as different as being born a boy and being born a girl. I mean, you're still you either way, it's just that people treat you different."

"People that matter." Draco said with a sniff.

Instantly, it became clear what it was about Malfoy that made Harry nervous about answering. Danny had taught Harry about people like this. Draco sounded like he was doing Harry a favor, gracing him with his presence. He was the type of person who was so used to people looking up to him, that he couldn't imagine anybody looking down at him. He didn't have friends; he had assets. And when you stopped being an asset, or worse when you became an asset who was higher on the pecking order than him, his 'friendship' would deteriorate.

He looked to his dad, and he winked at him. Harry smiled and carried on.

"Look, Draco?" He said tentatively, putting as much sincerity as he could into his voice, and he was told that he was a real good actor. "I appreciate the effort you're trying to put into making a good first impression, but I'm not really interested in a girlfriend now."

Correction; I want a picture of that face.

Draco was just feminine enough that he could be mistaken for a girl. Tess looked at Danny angrily as he hid a smirk, and the girl outright laughed. It looked to Harry like she hadn't laughed in a long time. One of the assistants had to stand against a wall to try and hide her laughter.

"I – I am not a girl!" Draco said indignantly.

"You sound like it." Eli said, barely hiding a smile of his own.

"I am clearly a boy!" Draco yelled. "I mean, look at me! It's not like I'm wearing a dress!"

He gasped in horror.

A tall man, who resembled Draco in all aspects except for his eyes, stood agast at the door. He'd come in just as Draco was shouting 'I'm wearing a dress!'

Harry guessed that this man was Draco's dad.

"Draco, what are you saying?" He asked in horror.

Draco was floundering like a helpless fish. "I – but – no – I didn't…"

"Your robes are ready." Madame Milkin said, removing the tape and handing Draco his robes. He took them hurriedly and left.

"Good work." Mad-eye said, coming out from behind a shelf of robes. "I was about to turn him into a ferret if he didn't leave off."

Madame Milkin studiously ignored him, and beckoned for Juliet to take Draco's stand. She did it with an acrobatic spring in her step, and a light smile.

"So what does make you famous Harry Potter?" She asked.

"I gave a certain Dark Wizard a bit of bad luck when I was a baby." He said, not wanting people to gawk over him just because his parents were dead.

"Is that all?" She said. "I give people bad luck all the time."

"I guess you had to be there." Harry shrugged.

"Well, you seem to have a talent for it." Eli said. "If I could get to the bullies in Gotham like you got to Malfoy…"

They walked a while longer as they got their uniforms fixed, and though Juliet distanced herself, Harry thought he had a new friend in Eli. As he walked down Diagon Alley, leaving it in Twilight, he was really looking forward to school.

* * *

_A/N: Professor Anderson is Neo. And while, yes, he is here and the silver top was a shout out to Inception, I will not do anything so cliche as reveal that Harry Potter's life is all in the Matrix. Harry is not in the Matrix, or Inception. I cannot be more clear on this. Irene Adler is from Robert Downet Junior's Sherlock Holmes, Eli is from the Book of Eli, and Juliet is Jinx. Ga'Hoole is canon here, as is Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. Also, I apologize for my portrayel of Goblins as untrustworthy. I would have liked to show Harry treating the Goblins like he treats House-elves or Centaurs, (that is, without prejudice). But with Mad-eye's paranoia, there was really no other option. Oh well, I suppose they'd become the villains pretty quickly anyway once Harry tries to rob Gringotts._


	4. Thick as Thieves

**Book One**

**Thick As Thieves**

"… I cannot wait to go to school."

Harry's snowy owl looked up from the board where she was moving a knight into position for a checkmate. He'd named her Irene, after Tess' grandmother, the thief he one day hoped to surpass. But if Irene's chess playing was any indication of her namesake, he would have better luck trying to cook a soufflé (he was notoriously bad in the kitchen).

For the first week after his great grandfather's revelation, he'd badgered him all about the wizarding world. While Mad-eye wouldn't talk to him about Irene, or magical methods of thievery, or anything that he considered 'dangerous information'. Of course, 'dangerous information' also included such things as dentistry, centaurs, and pumpkins.

However, he was more than willing to talk about Hogwarts. Apperantly, there were four houses. Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. They were sorted by a hat ('don't trust him.' Mad-eye had said. 'He's had since the time of the Founders to plot and scheme') which sorted students based off of the most admirable traits of the four founders. His parents went to Gryffindor, Mad-eye's house.

He'd even had some time to practice potions. He couldn't use a wand, since according to Mad-eye he wasn't allowed to use it out of school grounds until he was seventeen. But Mad-eye gave him an introduction to potions. "Many people underestimate potions. Of course, just be sure to carry a bezoar around you at all times and you'll be safe from most poisons. But I've found a Draught or two useful on occaission."

But then Mad-eye had to take off. He promised he'd keep an eye on Harry, but the Ministry was pulling him out of retirement for a special mission. So that left a week for Harry to do nothing but to teach Irene to play chess.

He was already eagerly packed. Two suitcases waited near the door, and he kept Irene's cage clean. He steadily chanted his manta; _Two more days until magical school, two more days until magical school, two more days until magical school, two more days until magical school…_

_One more day until magical school, one more day until magical school, one more day until magical school, one more day until magical school…_

_Five more hours until magical school, five more hours until magical school, five more hours until magical school, five more hours until magical school…_

At two more hours, Harry had convinced his parents to start heading out early. They arrived at King's Cross Station a good half an hour before they were supposed to arrive.

"So." Danny said. "Platform Nine and Three Quarters."

"Platform Nine and Three Quarters." Harry nodded.

"Does everything in the Wizard world have to be so… uneven?" Danny asked, scrunching up his face in consternation.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, first of all their monetary system isn't compatible with metric. And now… nine and three quarters? Why three quarters? If the platform's between nine and ten, why not nine and a half?"

"It's supposed to be symbolic for the three quarters of the Founders who stayed when Slytherin had his falling out." Harry said. His parents looked at him strange. "I read about it in Hogwarts; A History."

He studiously ignored the way his parents looked at him. He'd always liked history. All of the castles and mansions had history. Almost anything worth stealing either lived in someplace with history, or had its own personal history. History had blueprints, and history had schemes, and history held all of the heroes he'd looked up to. Except Danny. He wasn't ready to be history just yet.

Walking through the platform's barrier was a… strange sensation. He was expecting something like getting into Hagrid's motorcycle, a strange twisting feeling in his guts. Or maybe a feeling like pressing through a wall of jello. Instead he felt strange because of the complete absence of feeling. One minute he and his family were leaning discretely against the barrier, and the next they were on the platform, and the complete absence of any magical feeling was unnerving.

Harry was tempted to stick his hand back through the barrier and see what happened. Mad-eye said that muggles couldn't see it.

Still, wizards could see a hand sticking out from a stone column, blindly flailing about. He probably shouldn't embarrass himself on his first day.

"Oh this is just…" Harry looked around at his dad, and then where his dad was looking.

Platform Nine and Three Quarters was a magical place, Harry could feel it. The train was sleek and shining, as if it were freshly polished. No train could be that clean, except of course a magical train that seemed to be running on pixie dust based off of what was coming out of the head car's carriage. Not many other people were on the platform, which was to be expected since they were early.

Then Harry's casing instincts kicked in, the ones his dad had taught him. He began taking in every facet of the place, not just a general sense of how magical it was. He looked at platform nine and three quarters in terms of where he could run to if he was ambushed by security? Where the most valuable things were located, and how were they guarded? Where would people enter if they didn't want to be seen?

It would be easier to go around unseen with a crowd of course, but that wasn't his dad's problem. Harry could easily see what was bothering his dad. The roof was all glass and framework, with light shining through. The train's tracks led not to tunnels to carry them secretly away, but was wide open to the trainyard, with only rails to separate the wizards on the platform from the many other non magical tracks.

"It's like they're ignoring the rules, and we're letting them." Danny Ocean said. "Look at all of this, and how on earth did we not notice! Right under our noses? I mean, are the British really so… so… can wizards really just plant their little train right under their noses and they won't notice?"

"Maybe you should sit down dear." Tess said seriously.

Harry walked along the platform. There was a row of stands along the sides, just being set up for the day. There were stands for newspapers, juice, snacks, etc. After he'd walked up and down the platform twice, he became bored again. He still had one more hour, and families were just beginning to arrive.

He examined a strange statue on the platform, of a girl hovering above the ground in a meditating position. He wondered what this statue was for… and then she opened her eyes.

"Can I help you?" She asked.

Harry almost jumped out of his skin. How had he possibly mistook her for a statue?

She unfolded her legs, and stood up in a smooth motion. She looked around, brushing herself off, before her eyes turned to Harry. He could see the exact moment she saw his scar.

"You're Harry Potter." She said.

"Well that's not fair." Harry protested. "You know my name, but I don't know your name."

She raised an eyebrow. "I'm Raven. Are they with you?"

Harry looked where she pointed and nodded. "How could you tell?"

"The way you were looking around earlier. You looked like you were raised by Muggles. Or a first year. Or both."

"You saw me?" Harry asked. "I thought you had your eyes closed?"

"You also thought I was a statue. So far, you're not impressing me as the next Sherlock Holmes."

Harry smirked a little at that. She may have no visible emotions to speak of, but she had a sense of humor.

"How much do you know?" Raven asked suddenly. "About your story? Probably not much, if you were raised by muggles."

"Are both your parents wizards?" Harry asked. He wasn't going to tolerate another Draco.

"My mother's a witch." Raven said. "My father… isn't. So, how much do you know?"

"All of it." Harry said. "I mean, my great grandpa's an auror, so I know everything that he thinks it's safe for me to know."

"Safe." Raven said in a dead tone.

"Yeah. He doesn't want to tell me national secrets until I've at least made a few." Harry said. Where was she going with this?

She sighed. "So he thinks that he'll protect you by keeping secrets from you?" She asked. Perhaps he imagined the tone of anger in her voice.

"Yeah. According to him, not knowing things will make me less likely to be tortured for information." Harry said.

She raised an eyebrow. "So you know about the prophecy?" She asked.

That made Harry suspicious. "Now, that was one of the things he told me to keep me safe despite not wanting me tortured for national secrets. How did you know about it?"

"My mother works in the Department of Prophecies." Raven said. "It's very interesting. Particularly your one." She stared at him. "How does it feel, to know that you have your destiny written for you?"

Harry considered. "Why do you want to know?"

"Because I'm interested." Raven said. "My mother focuses on the prophecies. I'm interested in how the prophecies effect people."

Harry considered. "I haven't really thought about it." Harry said. "I'm sorry but, I just don't think I've been effected by my prophecy." She probably wasn't up to something. He couldn't think even Mad-eye would find a way to think that answering with his opinion would be dangerous.

Raven stared at him. He couldn't tell if it was an angry stare, a surprised stare, or a sad stare. She just sighed and sat down on a bench.

Harry thought for a moment, about what the conversation meant. And he decided to see if he'd made another friend. He reached into his pockets and pulled out a deck of cards. "Do you want to play a game?" He asked.

She looked at the cards, bored. "I don't know any card games."

"Then I can teach you."

"I suppose." She said, with a bored tone.

Despite her lack of emotion, Harry could tell she was genuinely interested in learning poker. She had a terrific poker face. All she needed was a head for the rules.

After a third hand, she let out a sigh of frustration. "I'm much better at Chess." She said, throwing down her cards.

"I play chess." Harry said. "But I'm an amateur. I taught my owl to play, and now she's better then me."

"This, I have to see." Raven took a chess set out of her suitcase, and Harry took Irene out of her cage.

Three rounds of chess later, Raven knocked the board over. "Oops." She said, rather unconvincingly. Harry couldn't help but laugh at the way she could be a sore loser and still not show emotion.

"It's okay." Harry said. "Irene's a pretty smart owl."

"But just an owl." Raven said. "I was almost sorted into Ravenclaw you know. With my name, you could understand why I refused. But I should be smarter than some owl."

"Chess is more than just about how smart you are." Harry said. "It's about strategy. Irene's really smart."

"I prefer to think that you're a good teacher." Raven looked at the cards and the board thoughtfully. "Have you ever played Exploding Snaps?"

"Sounds Interesting." Harry said, implying his answer. "How do you play?"

"I don't have a set of cards with me." Raven said. "But I could teach it to you when we get to Hogwarts. If I'm not too busy." She added, as if to make it clear she didn't care one way or the other.

Harry smiled. "Thank you." He looked around, as the train station began to fill up. "Looks like it's almost time for us to board the train." He said. He saw a familiar face in the crowd and the tap-tapping of a cane. "Hey Eli!"

The kid changed direction towards Harry. "Harry? Is that you?"

"Over here Eli, I want you to meet…" Harry was surprised to find that while he was distracted with Eli, Raven had slipped away. "Oi."

"How you been Harry?" Eli asked as he jogged up to Harry, stopping when his cane felt the bench.

"It's been a long wait until Hogwarts." Harry said happily. "But I've survived. How've you been?"

"Alright." Eli admitted. "I can't wait to get a few good spells under my belt. If I get to be half as good as Professor Sprout showed me she was, than the time away from the Orphanage will be well spent."

Harry remembered a time when he had no parents, and had to fight to keep the sympathy out of his face. "Hey, we're gonna have to board soon. Do you wanna meet my parents? You didn't get a real good chance at Madame Milkin's."

Harry led Eli to where his parents were watching. "Hey Mum, Dad. What were you doing over here?"

"Watching you make a new friend." Tess said proudly. "We didn't want to disturb you. You're going to be without us for a long time and… and we wanted to be sure you'd be safe and be able to do things on your own"

She was close to tears. "Mom, I can take care of myself just fine. You know I can."

"You'll call us on the mirror often, won't you?" Tess said, brushing Harry's hair down nervously.

"Of course I will." Harry said with a smile. And then, because Tess still seemed worried, "Mom, I'll be fine. Don't worry about it."

"Alright Harry." Daddy Ocean knelt down in front of him. "Remember never to lose control. Make as many friends as you can, because some day, most of them will be influential. Always keep your eyes open, your head down, and never do what they expect you to do."

Harry nodded, and hugged his dad tightly. He was a little embarrassed to do it in front of Eli. But then, he wouldn't see his parents for a long time. And he was blind after all.

Eli stood there awkwardly, and Harry broke up the hug. "Mom, Dad, this is Eli. You see, I'll be fine because I already have a friend to look after me."

Danny grinned at his son's reassurance, and his mom bought it hook line and sinker. "You two go have fun." She said. "Be good little wizards now."

Harry blushed furiously as he and Eli made their way to the platform.

"You have good parents." Eli said suddenly.

"Yeah." Harry beamed. "I know I do."

"Ahem."

Harry jumped. "How do you keep doing that?"

Raven didn't bother responding. "Here." She held out some Wonka Ice Waffles. "Start of year tradition. This is the last stop for waffles before Hogwarts."

"Thanks." Harry took two Ice Waffles form her, and gave one to Eli. He wasn't unaware of the significance of this. The girl never showed any emotion in her facial expression. So she was reaching out to him through waffles.

He had a new friend.

"See you at sorting, firsties." She strode past them, munching on her Ice Waffle.

"Who was that?" Eli asked.

"Raven." Harry said. "I was going to introduce you, but she comes and goes like a ninja."

"Like Batman." Eli nodded wisely.

"Who's Batman?"

"Oh, well you know who Superman is right?"

"Sure."

"Batman is like Superman, except he's from Gotham."

"Really?"

"Sure. He can fly, and he's strong enough to tear down the Gotham train lines with his bare hands. He can't run fast, but he drives a super black tank through Gotham's shadows."

"He sounds so much cooler than Superman." Harry said, as he and Eli boarded the train. "But a little scary."

"Oh, he's nothing. People who grow up in Gotham know no fear."

Suddenly, a pair of identical red headed boys shot out of the car in front of them and closed the door, using themselves as barricades. They were shivering, and out of breath. "Do you hear that?" Harry asked with a smile.

"I hear two teenage both out of breath?"

"Sounds like adventure to me." Harry said. "Come on."

They walked up to the twins. "Excuse me, but you look like you've seen a ghost."

The two looked at each other, and immediately straightened themselves up. "Us?" Said the first one. "Scared of a ghost? Perish the thought."

"No respect in the ickle firsties dear brother of mine." Said the second.

"Indeed. It's not like they would have fared much better… in compartment 317."

He said it in such a tone, that he would have been scared if they hadn't already called him 'ickle firstie'.

"Indeed dear brother George. It seems they feel they would have done better, when confronted with a monstrous striped snake with jagged teeth."

"Brother Fred, don't give them nightmares. I bet you were going to tell them the train conductor's a parselmouth, weren't you?"

"What's a parselmouth?" Eli asked.

"A dark wizard who can speak to snakes." Fred explained. "The Conductor keeps his giant pet snake in compartment, and doesn't matter to him whether the snake eats a student or not."

"Now that sounds a little far fetched." Harry said thoughtfully.

"Well… brother o mine, perhaps it would be educational…"

"And educational is what school is all about." Fred agreed.

Harry had a very real feeling that he was being had. He decided to pay it back, and formulated a quick plan.

"Very well brother George. Best the firsties see the monster of 317, than to have them sneak a peak without supervision."

"Great!" Harry clapped his hands together. "Let's see this monster."

The twins stared at him dumbstruck.

"You want to see it?" Fred asked, thunderstruck.

"Er… no offense… but are you barmy?" George asked in a tone which really didn't strike as offensive.

"No." Harry said. "It's just, this wouldn't be magic school without seeing a magic monster." He rubbed his hands eagerly. He knew the twins were just winding them up. "You're right, best to see it under supervision. But me and Eli, we're not afraid of any snakes."

The twins stared at him, dumfounded, as he pushed past them, and through the door to the next car.

The next car, older students poked their heads out of their compartments and ducked back inside. "It sounds like people are scared." Eli observed.

"Looks like it too." Harry felt like laughing in the face of danger. He settled for a small smile. After all, he didn't really believe he was in any danger. "Do you think Fred and George were telling the truth, or just pulling our legs?"

"It could be either one. Why are going in the compartment either way?"

"Because I want to see a giant snake monster."

"Really?"

"Because I'm curious." Harry corrected himself as he slid open the compartment door.

He was greeted by a strange sight. A pale girl was confronting an equally pale woman. "Look, I know you care about me, and I'm glad you're coming to Hogwarts with me, but I can deal with my own problems you know?"

"Umm, hello." Harry said. "Sorry to intrude, but I heard that there was a giant snake monster in this apartment."

The girl spun around. She was dressed very fashionably, although her most dominant article of clothing was her red spider-web styled poncho. "Sorry, no snake monsters here." She said, with a rueful smile. "Just my poltergeist protectors."

"What happened?" Eli asked.

"Well, those two rude little boys came and tried to scare Lydia with stories about trolls and vampires at Hogwarts." The woman said. "So we scared them off."

"Temporarily." A swarm of snakes slithered out of the air vent, and gathered together in the form of a pale man. "They're back. They're in the hallway, intent on preventing any harm done to these two."

Harry glanced at Eli.

"They're outside?" The girl grabbed a mirror, and angled it to see around the door. She smiled. "I don't think we've been introduced. My name's Lydia."

"I'm Harry. And this is Eli."

"Great! Now that we know each other, I don't suppose you two would be willing to help me scare a few older kids who think 'ickle firsties' are all scared little babies?"

And that was how Harry found himself in the jaws of a giant black and white snake, hanging out of compartment 317, yelling "The monster's got me! The monster's got me!"

Fred and George's ruddy complexions turned pale as they saw Harry in the jaws of the serpent. Then, as one, the drew their wands. "For Gryffindor!" They cried as they both lunged for the serpent…

And promptly fell on the floor, as they passed harmlessly through the snake.

"Gotchya." Lydia giggled, as the snake let Harry down and transformed into a man again.

The twins stared. "That was a poltergeist Fred."

"Indeed it was George."

"It would seem, dear brother, that we have been had."

"Pranked? Us? By a three ickle firsties?"

They looked at each other and laughed uproariously.

Lydia blinked. "Uh… serves you right?"

"Oh indeed." Fred chuckled. "Indeed it does."

"My brother and I are always on the look-out for new potential." George beamed.

"Indeed. How on earth did you get a poltergeist to listen to you? Our school poltergeist never does what we ask unless we bribe him."

"Well, my poltergeists are rather special." Lydia smiled.

Fred tipped his hat. "I hope we can see you three in Gryffindor to carry on the great tradition of pranksters."

"Indeed. 'Twas a fine litte…" He stopped, and Harry knew he was looking at his scar.

_Here we go._

"You're Harry Potter!"

Harry was beginning to get tired of everybody recognizing him.

"Blimey, it is! It's Harry Potter!"

"And you should've realized that before you thought you could scare me with a snake monster." Harry said.

The twins laughed like a pair of red-headed hyenas, and merrily retreated down the hallway. Harry, Lydia, and Eli laughed as well. "Hey, do you mind if we sit here?" Eli asked.

And of course, Lydia didn't say no. There are just some things you can't do together without becoming friends. And while helping a pair of poltergeists pull a prank on someone isn't one of those things, it's pretty close.

"So what are poltergeists?" Eli asked.

Lydia considered the question. "Well, they're like ghosts. Excepts ghosts are wizards with unfinished business, and Poltergeists are muggles. Of course, Poltergeists can also interact with the physical plane, possess people, and have an amorphous exoplasmic frame."

Harry blinked. "How do you know so much about Poltergeists?"

She gestured to the two Poltergeists at either side of her. "It's a knowledge born out of necessity."

"We're going to go say goodbye to your parents, okay dear?" The woman asked.

"I'll be fine by myself Barbara, don't worry."

"How did you meet those two?" Harry asked, as the pair of poltergeists flew through the window and glided down to the platform.

"The Maitlands have unfinished business." Lydia said. "I'm just helping them out."

Through the open window, the trio heard Fred and Geroge. "Don't worry Ginny, we'll send you lots of owls."

"We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat!"

"George!"

"Do you have parents?" Lydia asked, as she stared out the window.

"No." Eli said wistfully.

"Mine are right over there." Harry pointed at where Danny and Tess were standing.

The last students boarded the train, as the whistles blew, and the Hogwarts express shuddered to a start. Like a giant beast of burden, it was slow at first, then began to roll down the tracks with increasing speed. "Goodbye!" Lydia waved to her parents. "Goodbye!"

As Harry watched his parents become smaller in the distance. Hands stuck out of the train's windows, all waving goodbye at their parents. Five years ago Harry was like Eli, alone in the world. But that was his mom waving goodbye at him. And that was his dad, beaming proudly at him, and nodding with a knowing smile.

Harry smiled back, and waved goodbye as the train turned the corner.

* * *

A short while after the train had pulled out of the station, Lydia and Harry were listening intently as Eli described a book he'd read about ghosts when somebody rapped sharply at the door.

A small red headed kid poked his head through the door. "Do you mind if I sit here?" He asked. "Everywhere else is full."

Harry didn't believe for a moment that every compartment on this train was full. Somebody must have rejected him from their cars. "Not at all." Harry said. It seemed he was gathering quite a following of misfits.

The red-headed boy shuffled into the room and sat down next to Lydia. "I'm Ron."

"This is Eli, and Lydia. And I'm Harry."

_3… 2… 1…_

"Harry Potter?"

Harry nodded.

"So do you have… you know…" He leaned in to whisper. "The scar?"

Harry pulled the tuff of hair away from his forehead. "Blimey." Ron said in awe.

"What's so important about his scar?" Lydia asked.

"When I was a baby, an evil wizard who wanted to rule the world killed my parents and tried to kill me." Harry said. "Somehow, I managed to accidentally kill him first, in the process saving the wizarding world. So basically, I'm a celebrity."

"Don't expect us to fawn over you." Lydia smirked.

"Of course not." Harry said. "This all happened when I was a baby, right? I don't really care."

"You don't care that you saved the world?" Ron asked, stunned.

"Well, I'm no Superman." Harry shrugged. "It would be so cool if I were though."

"Who's Superman?" Ron asked.

Harry immediately launched into an explanation of the man of steel. Ron's eyes bulged. The three of them had to explain the concept of aliens to him too. He'd never even heard of the concept of life on other planets. Then Eli talked about Batman, and how nobody knew what he was, but he was a hero just like Superman, stopping crime wherever he went. Ron considered both heros.

"So, they're like Martin Miggs, the Mad Muggle?" Ron asked.

Eli, Harry, and Ron, were just getting into a discussion over which was the best superhero, Superman, Batman, or Martin Miggs, when there was a sharp knock on the door. Juliet was on the other side of the glass, and she opened the door without waiting for a reply. "You misled me Harry Potter." She said, staring at him with her catlike eyes.

Harry recoiled in terror.

"Who are you?" Ron asked, almost equally apprehensive.

Juliet just sat down. "You said it like you beat some unimportant dark wizard. But when further inquiries were made, I discovered that you were the most important young wizard of the age, after defeating Lord Voldemort. Lord Voldemort, who has been compared to Grindelwald, Hitler's right hand wizard. That's more than just 'a bit of bad luck'."

"Who is she?" Ron asked, taken aback by her casual mention of Voldemort's name. But still confused.

"The Headmistress has ordered me to become great friends with you." Juliet said, pulling a book out of her small trunk and flipping it to a marked page. "So, what do you think? Can we be friends?"

"Your… Headmistress?" Harry asked. _Is she talking about that old lady she had with her?_ "You're going to Hogwarts now."

"Nobody can just leave H.I.V.E." Juliet said, turning the page.

"Hi, I'm Ron Weasly, care to introduce yourself?" Ron asked. He was turning a strange shade of red from confusion.

"No." She said simply.

"So why do you want to be friends with me?" Harry asked.

"Mostly because Headmistress said so." Juliet said. "But also, because it was pretty cool the way you tore Draco apart."

Harry blinked. "What?"

Ron blinked. "What?"

"You were talking smooth one second, luring him in, and then when he'd over-extended himself you went and crushed him. It was… artful."

"That's not what happened at all." Harry said. He felt like he was going to be sick.

"Sure it was." She said with a smile. "You were trying to make friends with all of us, and being quite charming too by the way. But then when Draco started to insult us, you dished him some nice cold payback."

Harry frowned and looked away. The matter-of-fact way she was accusing him made him feel even more guilty. Mad-eye had congratulated him, but that was because Draco's father was a death eater. Tess was upset, but Danny was okay with it. If Danny was okay with it, then it had to be okay. Right?

"Oh don't look so guilty about it, the racist little punk deserved it." She said. "But it was surprising the way you switched from charming to brutal in the blink of an eye. And that's one of the reasons I want to be your friend. You're unpredictable."

Harry wanted to scream at her, that she had him all wrong, that so wasn't what he was about. But that wouldn't solve anything.

_There's always a way out of any situation._

"Well, aren't you afraid of what will happen if I decide you aren't my friend?" Harry asked. He saw the way the other three were looking at him.

_Well, that came out wrong._

"Nope." She grinned. "I don't scare as easy as blondie. Crossing my path means bad luck, and now I'm afraid you're stuck with me."

"Can somebody tell me who this is?" Ron asked.

"No, it's much more fun watching you stew." She smirked mischievously.

"Her name's Juliet." Eli said. "The three of us were at Madame Milkins getting fitted for robes at the same time as this other kid, Draco Malfoy."

"Malfoy." Ron scoffed. "The Malfoys are all a bunch of blood purists. My dad got kicked out of muggle relations because Malfoy didn't want somebody on the board who actually cared about muggles."

"Well, Jules and I aren't purebloods, so Draco started making rascist comments…"

"What's rascism?" Ron asked.

"It's thinking someone's inferior because of their race."

"That doesn't sound right." Ron scratched his nose. "I think you mean Purists."

"Right, well, Draco started making Purist comments about me and Jules, and then he made fun of me for being blind, and he acted like Harry should agree with him."

"What's blind?" Ron asked.

"You don't have blind wizards?" Lydia asked.

"And Harry shut him down hard." Eli finished.

"That's not doing it justice." Jules said, looking up from her book. "He pretended he didn't realize Draco was a boy. It was wicked."

She said wicked like it was a compliment.

Harry was about to protest, when they were interrupted by another knock on the door. Harry half expected another misfit student to join their gaggle, but was surprised to see an elderly witch pushing a trolly full of candy. "Anything off the trolly dears?" She asked.

"No thanks." Ron said. "I'm all set." He held a package of beef sandwiches wrapped in something that looked like clear plastic wrapping, but it didn't press down on the sandwiches when it was held in Ron's grip.

Harry looked at the cart. Oh, there were so many things he wanted to try. Willy Wonka was known throughout the muggle world as a genius with candies, but apparently he'd saved his best for the wizarding world, and Harry wasn't about to miss anything.

"I'll take one of everything." He said, shifting through his pockets. "Actually, three of everything." He said, seeing the look on Ron's face.

* * *

"Bernie Bott's every flavor beans." Ron explained to everyone. He seemed to be rather enjoying being the only one in the crowd who knew about wizard stuff. "They're not Wonka, but they're pretty good on their own."

Harry was amazed at the variety of beans. He got pepperoni, salt, bubble gum, spinach, book (He got bits and pieces of visions of the Three Musketeers as he chewed that one), chicken, roast chicken, Kentucky fried chicken, Kiwi (the bird, not the fruit), water, butterscotch, grass, and fire. He almost had a toilet flavored one, but Ron spotted it and knocked it out of his hand. Harry liked the fire flavored bean the best.

"And these are chocolate frogs." Ron said. "They tend to squirm in your mouth. I don't much like the feeling, but each frog comes with a famous witch or wizard."

Only Jules thought they were tasty, and so the compartment was soon filled with a bunch of chocolate frogs experimental chunks bitten off, hopping around until Jules caught one.

Harry got Dumbledore's card, which elaborated on what Madeye had told him about the man. "What does my card say?" Eli asked, passing it to Harry.

Harry took it. "Charles Brocklehurst the First. King's Wizard from 1558 – 1580. He fell out of office when he first made contact with the muggle world via Francis Walsingham, and brought the Ministry of Magic under the reign of the Queen of England. After three attempts on his life he went into hiding, during which he invented the Pandora charm and avoided a further twenty nine attempts on his life. Most known for his disastrous three year attempt at wooing Helga Hufflepuff, which is said to have included a basilisk egg, a eunuch, and three fake mustaches, and ended with him being beaten to death by gnomes."

"Oooh, I've always wanted a Charles Brocklehurst in my collection." Ron's eyes gleamed. "I'll trade you two Baskervilles and a Weird Sister."

"Help yourself." Eli handed him the card.

"Thanks. Now if only I could find Gwenog Jones, the head of the Holyhead Harpies."

"Who're the Hollywood Harpies?" Eli asked.

"Who are…" Ron's eyes bulged. "Have any of you ever heard of Quidditch?"

He was met with four blank stares.

Ron launched into an explanation of Quidditch, a game that was played on broomsticks. It was played by seven people, two beaters who seemed to be designed for the muscle-bound sort who loved to check in hockey, or pound people to the ground in Football, or generally ruined all of the intellectual aspects of the sports Harry liked. The other three chasers and the keeper seemed alright. Harry thought he'd make a good seeker; he always had an eye out for shiny things. Provided he could fly a broom, he might actually try out when he was older.

Harry absorbed every word. He had a head for games. To him, every game boiled down to three things; Knowing the rules, knowing how to play around the rules, and knowing how to rig the game and/or any wagers that revolved around it. Oh, and being a good athlete, but that was more for sports than games.

According to Ron, Quidditch had 674 rules, and during one particularly interesting sounding game, every single one of them was broken. Harry decided it would be a fun challenge to see if he could rig a game of Quidditch.

Harry was having immense fun. So much fun. Everything new, everything exciting.

Ron began to introduce them to Liquorice wands. They were basically sticks of liquorice, coated in chocolate, and laced with rainbow sprinkles. They were actually illegal to sell to children under the age of eleven because they doubled as a wand.

"Ollivander says that the three most powerful wand cores are Pheonix, Dragon, and Unicorn." Ron explained. "But other cores have been used too. Liquorice wands are unique, because they have an edible core of syrup. The flavor varies. I don't know how Wonka does it; wands have to be wood with something in their core, right? But somehow, he has wands that do actual magic."

"Do you know any spells?" Lydia asked.

"Sure." Ron puffed his chest up, clearly enjoying the attention. "My brothers snuck me liquorice wands all the time. Here." He took something small and hairy out of his pocket. "This is my pet rat Scabbers. I'm going to turn him yellow."

Eli looked faintly disappointed, but the others all stared at him intently. He waved his wand dramatically, when the door slid open, a girl let out a small "Eep!" And the door slammed shut again.

Jinx's eyes narrowed, giving her a predatory look. "I'll be right back."

She slid out of the door, and returned with a bushy haired girl. "Look what I found." She said proudly.

"Hello." The girl said, trying to look brave. "Sorry about that. A boy on the train has lost his toad, and I heard ribbits coming from this compartment. Um… are you sure that all of these are chocolate? You don't have a real toad in here, do you?"

"No, sorry." Harry said. "Here…" He opened Irene's cage and took her out. "Irene could probably hunt for toads, couldn't you Irene?" The owl nodded happily. "And not eat the toad?" Irene considered for a moment, then nodded again.

The girl wasn't looking at the owl, however. She was looking at Harry. "Your Harry Potter!" She said, pointing at Harry's forehead.

"It's rude to point." Harry said, sighing inwardly.

"Oh, sorry." She said. "I've read all about you. You're in so many books."

"I am?" He asked.

"You are." Jules confirmed. "And the newspapers. And online."

"Online?"

"There's a secret corner of the internet where wizards who understand Muggle tech dwell."

"Really?" Hermione's eyes were wide.

Harry was rather uncomfortable with this star struck girl. "Here." He held his arm against hers, and Irene strode importantly onto her shoulder.

"Thanks!" She said brightly. She turned to leave, but stopped. "You have something on your nose by the way." She told Ron. "Right there."

Jules stared at the door as she left. "She was annoying." She said. "Why didn't you pretend you didn't notice she was a girl?"

Harry gritted his teeth. "Because that would be wrong."

She stared at him. "I don't get it."

"I'm not evil. I'm just… maybe a little overzealous protecting my friends."

Jules smiled and sat down. "That's alright. If you change your mind later, Lydia can sick her ghosts on her and nobody will be able to trace it back to you."

* * *

"Firs' years this way!" Hagrid called out.

Harry and the others got off the train in their Howgarts uniforms. "Who is that?" Lydia asked.

"He's Hagrid." Harry said. "He's the groundskeeper."

"Do you know everybody?" Jules asked, sounding impressed.

"No." Harry said. "Hagrid's just a family friend."

"Ah." Jules said, as if this explained everything.

Hagrid took them on boats across the lake of Hogwarts, and then to the castle. He lead them to a staircase and told them to go up. At the top of the stairs, a witch waited. And she looked so much like a witch; old, and stern faced, and with a pointy witch hat.

"Welcome to Hogwarts." She said, as everybody settled down. "My name is Professor McGonagall. In a few moments you will pass through these doors, where you will be sorted into your houses. I expect you all to put your best foot forward, and do Hogwarts, and your houses, proud."

"I will return when we are ready for you. Please wait quietly."

She left then, and the students murmured among themselves.

"Ron." Lydia whispered. "How do they sort houses?"

"I don't know." Ron whispered back. "Fred & George were going on about fighting a troll, but I don't think they'd do that. There are four houses. Gryffindor is where all the brave and heroic witches and wizards go. Ravenclaw is for smart people. There's not a witch or wizard than went evil and wasn't in Slytherin, so just make sure you don't get into that. Unless you are evil." He looked pointedly at Jules, who smiled back at him. "And Hufflepuff is where everybody else goes."

"My grandpa said they sort you with a hat." Harry said. "And Hufflepuff isn't where everyone else goes, it's where people who work hard or are loyal friends go."

"So it's true?" A sharp voice rang out. "Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts?"

Harry turned to acknowledge a rather tall boy. "Yes, hello."

He scratched his chin, as if wondering what to make of Harry. "The name's Theodore Nott. I've heard a lot about you from Draco."

Harry winced and looked over the crowd. He saw Draco leering at him from the sidelines. He was flanked by a pair of boys who were as big as Nott and even wider.

"Think we'll see you in Slytherin?" Nott asked.

"I… don't know." Harry said honestly.

"Well… fingers crossed." Nott smirked, and walked back to Malfoy.

Harry had no idea what to make of that. Was he threatening him? Was he trying to be friends? He couldn't help but stare at Nott, as he walked back to Malfoy, and Malfoy smirked at him maliciously.

He would have to find time to apologize.

"Ahem." Professor McGonagall had come back. "This way please."

The students followed her through the grand iron double doors and into Hogwarts' great hall. Candles floated in the air, giving the hall a fascinating lighting scheme. They lit every corner of the hall, and the lights danced on the smiling faces of the students.

But Harry's casing instincts told him there was light coming from somewhere else, and he soon discovered where. The great hall had no ceiling. It was simply open up to the night sky, letting the stars and moon shine down on them.

"It's enchanted to look like the sky above it." He heard Hermione whisper to somebody in front of him. "I read about it in Hogwarts; A History."

Harry had read Hogwarts; A History twice, and he didn't remember anything mentioning the ceiling. She must have a really good memory.

The procession of students halted as they reached the head of the hall. There, the teachers sat at a table all their own. Harry recognized Dumbledore from his chocolate frog card. Hagrid waved at him, and Professor Anderson gave him a curt nod. But the majority of students were focused on what was directly in front of the staff table; and old point witch hat, sitting on a stool.

The eager whispers of the students already seated died down, and the first year students looked at the hat on the stool, confused. Professor McGonagall lifted the hat off of the stool and took out a parchment list, and began to call names.

"Hannah Abbot."

Harry didn't envy her for being called first. She walked up shyly, and sat down on the school as McGonagall put the hat on her head.

After a moment, a wide seam in the hat opened up like a mouth and yelled – 'HUFFLEPUFF!'

The table to Harry's left cheered, and the lining on Hannah's robes turned the same bright yellow color as the people sitting there. She smiled happily and almost danced to her seat, as professor McGonagall called for Susan Bones. Who, after a smaller wait, also made it to 'HUFFLEPUFF!'

"Terry Boot." – 'RAVENCLAW!' This time the table to Harry's right with the silver blue robes cheered.

"Mandy Brocklehurst." – 'RAVENCLAW!' Brocklehurst? Like the chocolate frog card? Harry looked over to Ron, and took his snickering as a confirmation.

"Lavender Brown." – 'GRYFFINDOR!' The table at the far right cheered.

"Millicent Bulstrode." – 'SLYTHERIN!' The table at the far left seemed to be trying purposefully to cheer louder than the Gryffindors.

"Stephen Cornfoot." – 'RAVENCLAW!'

"Vincent Crabbe." – 'SLYTHERIN!'

"Tracy Davis." – 'SLYTHERIN!'

"Lydia Deetz" Lydia walked up to the hat, eyeing it warily. Harry tried to guess what was going through her head, as the Maitlands watched above them anxiously.

The wait was the longest yet. And Harry couldn't imagine anybody being under the hat longer. He could see her whispering to the hat, apparently having some sort of conversation with it. Ron and Eli looked anxious as they waited. Finally, as whispers began to echo around the hall, the hat opened its brim…

'GRYFFINDOR!'

Harry let out a sigh of relief, even though it was ridiculous and he shouldn't have been afraid of anything. Lydia seemed unsure of what to think, but she smiled as the Gryffindor table burst into applause for her.

"Kevin Entwhistle." – 'RAVENCLAW!'

"Justin Finch-Fletchley." – 'HUFFLEPUFF!'

"Seamus Finnigan." – 'GRYFFINDOR!'

"Hermione Granger."

The bushy haired girl took a deep breath. "Okay. It's okay. Just relax. Breath."

"Mental that one." Ron said as she walked up to the hat. "I'm telling you."

She was under the hat half as long as Lydia had been, which was something. 'GRYFFINDOR!'

"Gregory Goyle." – 'SLYTHERIN!'

"Daphne Greengrass. – 'SLYTHERIN!'

"Anthony Goldstien." – 'RAVENCLAW!'

"Wayne Hopkins." – 'HUFFLEPUFF!'

"Megan Jones." – 'HUFFLEPUFF!'

When it was Jule's turn she practically dance up to the hat. Harry would have made a comment to Ron about her being mental, but he didn't want to insult her, both out of fear that he'd be a jerk and out of fear that she'd hear about it.

'RAVENCLAW!'

"Looks like Ravenclaws getting all the loons." Ron said. Harry silently agreed with him, but thought Jules seemed much more dangerous than jus t a 'loon'.

"Su Li." – 'RAVENCLAW!'

"Neville Longbottom." – 'GRYFFINDOR!'

"Morag MacDougal." – 'RAVENCLAW!'

"Ernie MacMillan." – 'HUFFLEPUFF!'

"Draco Malfoy." The hat barely touched Draco's head before it said 'SLYTHERIN!'

"Lily Moon." – 'SLYTHERIN!'

"Theodore Nott." – 'SLYTHERIN!'

"Pansy Parkinson – 'SLYTHERIN!'

The knot in Harry's stomach grew as the Ps were called.

"Padma Patil – 'RAVENCLAW!'

"Pavarti Patil – 'GRYFFINDOR!'

"Sally Anne Perks – 'RAVENCLAW!'

"Harry Potter." Whispers erupted through the hall. Some of the younger students stood on their chairs to see him. Harry did his best to relax, just like his dad told him. He had to appear like this was all as he expected it to be. He had to look like he was in control.

_Smooth._

He strode up to the sorting hat, ignoring the whispers around him, but not pointedly ignoring them. He sat on the stool, and felt relieved when the Sorting Hat didn't fit on his head, so it obscured his view of his future classmates. Out of sight, out of mind as the saying went.

_Well well well, what do we have here?_

_A boy talking to a magical hat, apparently._

_Indeed. Well, you certainly have a Ravenclaw's wit. And anybody could see that you have a good head on your shoulders, but I don't think Ravenclaw's for you._

_You don't? Why not? I'm not smart enough for Ravenclaw?_

_Oh, you're clever all right. Clever, but you don't seek knowledge for knowledge's sake. And sorting isn't just about picking your greatest attribute, it's about putting you where you'll reach your full potential. That's why I'm talking to you instead of just putting you where I think you should go._

_And where do you think I should go?_

_Slytherin._

Harry gasped.

_Not Slytherin._

_No?_

_No. I don't want to be evil._

_Oh, spare me from gullible eleven year olds, and here I thought you had a head on your shoulders. Obviously I don't fill Slytherin with evil kids. I put Ms. Landau in Ravenclaw didn't I?_

Harry was stunned for a moment._ Are you saying she's evil? _He thought she really wanted to be friends with him.

_There's a difference between being evil at the tender age of eleven, and having the potential to be evil. If there are any kids who are actually really 'evil', then I do tend to put them in Slytherin, because then they can grow up having their darker tendencies curbed or put to good use by people in power. But your friend is more… broken, then actually evil. There's a chance for her to be redeemed if she goes in Ravenclaw._

Harry mulled it over in his head. So the sorting hat chose based one your character traits, _and_ based on which house would bring you to your full potential.

_But you, you would do well in Slytherin. Most people would think robbing Gringotts is an act of evil, even if you're only planning on robbing your own vault. The first one to rob Gringotts in history? Oh, you have ambition lad, and a thirst to prove yourself._

_If you're so sure, why are you talking to me about it?_

_You'll hardly reach your full potential if you're press ganged into it. The easiest kids to sort are the ones where I'm in full agreement of where they want to go from the start. But you don't seem to like the idea of Slytherin. It will help you on your way to greatness you know. No doubt about it._

_Of course they'll help me. They're either aristocrats like Malfoy, or people who are influenced by them. In thieves terms, they're easy marks._

_Ha! Yes, Slytherin will help you on the way to greatness, no matter which house you choose. I believe Hufflepuff would be an excellent place for you. Thick as thieves, as the saying goes. Oh, I don't envy anybody who crosses one of your friends, I know what you recommended Danny do to Willie Bank._

_But no. Hufflepuff's not for you, any more than Ravenclaw. In Ravenclaw, you would have had a detrimental effect on your housemates, but in Hufflepuff they would have a detrimental effect on you. No, you need a house where your housemates openly embrace foolhardy actions like raiding Gringotts. A house almost as loyal as Hufflepuffs, but far more exciting._

_Yeees, you're smart but do not crave knowledge. Your ambitious but do not crave power. You're so loyal, I'd go so far as to say it's a flaw of yours instead of a virtue, but you could never be a friend with somebody who stuck to the rules, somebody who didn't share your interests. You crave adventure. You need adventure. And you need a house that embraces adventure as a way of life. You need…_

'GRYFFINDOR!'

McGonnagel removed the hat, and Harry was almost bowled over by the thunderous applause from the Gryffindor table. The Weasly Twins were dancing, singing 'We got Potter! We got Potter!' and a few pointed hats were thrown into the air.

McGonnagell had to give the table a stern glare before she returned to Sorting Oliver Rivers, who was a Hufflepuff.

He sat in between Lydia and Neville as the rest of them got sorted.

David Runcorn was a Ravenclaw, while Zacharias Smith and Spungen Spinks both went to Hufflepuff.

"Dean Thomas." 'GRYFFINDOR!'

They were reaching the end. Only five students left.

"Lisa Turpin" – 'RAVENCLAW!'

"Leanne Underhill" – 'HUFFLEPUFF!'

Harry crossed his fingers, and was very happy when Eli (Elijah Washington, apparently) got sorted into Gryffindor, as well as Ron.

"Blaise Zabini" – 'SLYTHERIN!'

And with that the sorting ceremony finished. Harry beamed at his newfound friends, all in Gryffindor (except Jules, but he wasn't sure wether she counted as a friend or not). He felt just the same way he had five years ago, when he'd been found in an impossible bank vault and adopted by one of the greatest men in the world.

He felt like this was home.

* * *

_A/N: J.K. Rowling's first book was full of little comedic moments that later turned into serious plot points. She took her story in one direction, but I will endeavor to expand on some of the early remarks that she didn't expand on, like Martin Miggs, the Mad Muggle. Also, you might notice some deviations from the book. That is because this is not a Harry Potter crossover, but a Warner Brothers crossover, and I'm going by the movies. Of course, I really don't like the movies; they're chock full of significant plot holes. So as a compromise, I'll be picking the best parts of the books to include, and discarding the worst elements of the movies. So if you see Astrology replaced with Choir, or you realize that the Sorting Hat doesn't sing, but doesn't blurt out what it's thinking to the world either, don't panic. It's just two source materials coming together._

_Now, I haven't read every single Harry Potter fanfic out there, but of ther few I've read, there are two trends that slightly disturb me. First, is Harry's tendency to end up somewhere other than Gryffindor. Now a few fics can really make this work, but one of the most disturbing ones is Harry Potter and the Invincible Technomage, where Harry goes to school with the express purpose of saving lives, but when under the hat protests that he only came to Hogwarts to learn (even though he already knows more than Hogwarts can teach him) and gets sorted into Ravenclaw. Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality made Harry being a Ravenclaw work. But seriously, just because if done properly it can be amazing doesn't mean you should discard every reason Harry ended up in Gryffindor for._

_Also, the tendency to make Draco a main character, and discard Ron as a dunce or a prat while idolizing Hermione. To say more would spoil things but, that's not going to happen here. There are reasons that Ron is Harry's friend. And while Draco being Harry's friend is an interesting concept, there are two things that needs to happen for Draco to realistically be Harry's friend; First, Harry has to meet Draco before he makes any purist remarks. And second, Draco has to be a bit more intelligent than a spoiled brat. In short, Harry can't be Draco's friend unless you change the character to make him 'not' Draco. Thus creating what sounds like an ancient riddle._

_Now, the new members of the cast in this chapter are; Raven, from the Teen Titans t.v. show, and Lydia Deetz & the Maitlands, from Beetlejuice. Since she'll have to be younger in this fic then she was in the movie, she has the same appearance as she had on the Beetlejuice t.v. show, and her personality is a mix between the two sources. _


	5. Setting Up the Board

**Book One**

**Setting Up The Board**

Harry woke blearily.

He was in the Gryffindor first year dorm with his fellow first years. He took a moment to process this, smiled, and went back to sleep.

Something tapped him on the arm.

He turned around, and caught Eli's cane as it tried to tap him again. "Eli, what're you doing?"

"Waking you up. Breakfast is starting."

Harry groaned. "Why does breakfast have to be so early."

"Harry, it's nine thirty. Ron would've woken you up, but he wanted to get there early and stuff his face."

And with that, Harry shuffled out of bed.

He'd stayed up way too late last night with excitement. After they'd gotten through the sorting ceremony, Dumbledore had bidden the feast begin, and their plates had filled with food. So many new and wonderful foods.

The Hogwarts ghosts had come out to introduce themselves to the students during the feast. Lydia made sure to know every ghost's name, and her poltergeist protectors, the Maitlands, were welcomed among the community with open arms.

It seemed that Hogwarts ad a poltergeist too, by the name of Peeves. He was much more violent than the Maitlands, and was banned from entering the Great Hall and the kitchens because it was a proven fact that if he got into either area it would take at least week to clean up the mess. Maybe two.

Then they got sent up to bed, with stomachs almost too full. Naturally, Harry stayed up most of the night.

He was beginning to regret this decision.

He managed to get to the Great Hall just in time to question his sanity, as a swarm (_Gaggle? Murder? Flock?_) of owls descended on the students. His heart started up just enough for him to remember that owls were messengers, that he had an owl himself, and that he was not in an Alfred Hitchcock film.

Now fully awake, he walked over to Gryffindor table where Ron was piling sausages onto his plate. Irene landed in front of him and dropped a letter onto his plate.

"Thanks girl." Harry said, picking up the letter and stroking her. "How's the Hogwarts Owlery treating you?"

She hooted happily.

"That's good. Here." He poured some water into his goblet, and Irene began to drink as Harry perused the letter.

It was from Grandpa Moody.

_Dear Harry._ It began.

_This is one of two letters. If you've received the second one, chances are that you also have a pile of letters in front of you right now. Go to Dumbledore, he knows the importance of screening a celebrity's mail. If you don't have the other letter, then Dumbledore's showing some rare common sense and making sure you don't have to deal with fangirls, enemies, people who think you're the messiah, and other garish problems. If you make any friends at Hogwarts, make sure they mark their letters with symbol on the front of this envelope to make sure their letters reach you._

_I'm in Metropolis right now, exact location undisclosed, with a fellow auror on a secret assignment. I watched you get sorted. Good for you getting into Gryffindor! I remember when I was sorted – I wanted to get sorted into Slytherin, but the hat said that with the connections I'd make there, I'd become Minister in no time, and my habit of poking my nose where it doesn't belong (remind me to tell you the story of how I lost my nose some time) I'd find out every nation's state secrets in a week, and collapse the world governments in a month. Not that I'm complaining, I'm happy where I am._

_Your head of house, Minerva McGonagall, is stern but fair. She was prefect when I went to school, and I mistrust her less than Dumbledore. Go to her if you have any trouble that you can't handle or keep secret. Be careful of the other professors though. Especially Professor Snape, the Potions Teacher. I did a little research, and discovered he went to school the same time as your father, and there was some bad blood between them. Dumbledore's covering the rest of it up, but if I discover anything else I'll let you know. _

_Professor Flitwick, head of Ravenclaw and charms teacher, is part goblin. You know where I stand with goblins, so be wary of any retribution from his end due to your connection with me. Professor Anderson is an enigma, wrapped in a false identity, sprinkled with hints of hiding something, and with no sender's address. He has no family, Muggle or Wizarding, he has no school records, and the only reason Dumbledore heard of him before he asked for a job is because he stopped Grindlewald's third escape attempt, but only after what looked like sabotage on one of the runes. Also, Professor Zatanna only started wearing that turban this august, and it's enchanted so my eye can't see through it. His story is it has garlic and other anti-monster charms, but the Zatanna I know can take any dark creature known to man._

_As for your classmates, avoid the Slytherins. All of them. I haven't had time to look into the other two houses, but Seamus Finnigan's mum has connections to the black market so best to avoid him. Neville Longbottom's parents were good Aurors. Frank used to be my apprentice. They were tortured after the war, to the point where they went insane. They can't even recognize Neville anymore, although he visits them often. DO NOT say anything tactless to him. The Weasleys are generally a good lot, but they're a mixed bag of heroes, trouble makers, geniuses, fools, and quidditch players, with a habit of poking their noses where they don't belong. Pure Gryffindors, the lot of them, but you'd have better luck trusting a Bernie Botts Patil family has been Slytherin for generations on both sides, and though they haven't been convicted of anything, all that proves it they're smart. And Ms. Brown was the subject of some talk a couple years back, when she managed to make a prophecy at the tender age of 10. Never trust anybody who knows the future Harry. _

_Dean Thomas is the son of a muggle girl and a wizard father. However, neither claim to know who the father is. I only know it's a wizard because I know a Bulgarian who's a hand at blood magic, and I had her discreetly pay a visit to Dean's mum. Thankfully, I keep track of every wizard who is in the country at any given time; here is the list of possible dads, based on a profile of his father._

_Daedallus Diggle, Eldred worple, Gilderoy Lockhart, Li Chang, Lucius Malfoy, Karloff Borges, John Dawlish, Patrick MacKilney, and Pius Thinknesse._

_Of the above, five have connections to dark circles. All have a backgrounds involving love potions (except for Diggle) and easy access to the material. Two of them would have thought of the affair as torture to a muggle, while the rest may have just considered it a one-night stand. And here's a similar list except applied to wizards who want me to think they're dead._

_Argus Goyle, Humphrey Knighton, John Stevenson, Peter Pettigrew, and Raye Penbar._

_He may be telling the truth about not knowing his dad, or his dad may be controlling him from the sidelines, keeping in the shadows because he knows that if he exposed himself as Dean's father I'd be onto him. It's pretty suspicious that he's born in the same year as you, don't you think? Almost as if somebody wanted to make sure they had somebody in Hogwarts at the same time as you. Constant vigilance Harry._

_After I finish this Metropolis assignment, I'll look into it more, along with your muggle born housemates, and the potential threats in Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw._

_Good luck with your classes. Be sure to call Tess on the mirror soon, I'm sure she's worried about you. Keep your wits and your wand with you at all times, avoid Peeves at all cost, and stay out of trouble. Burn this letter after reading it._

_With hugs, your 'Grandpa'. _

_P.S._

_CONSTANT VIGILANCE!_

Harry frowned. He usually had fond memories of his great grandpa's over protectiveness, but investigating his housemates felt like it was going a step too far. Thankfully, Eli was blind and Ron's eyes were too focused on his plate for him to read grandpa's disparaging remarks on his parentage. Or the information on Neville's parents.

He decided burning the thing might be a very good idea.

After breakfast he pulled Dean Thomas to the side. Thankfully, Dean was raised by muggles and wasn't completely starstruck.

"What is it Harry?" He asked.

"Well…" Harry tried to think about how to put this delicately. "Dean, I have a really overprotective grandfather."

Dean looked at him, curiously.

"Well, he's really my great-grandfather." Harry said. "He lived through World War One, and fought in World War Two. I just call him grandpa because it's shorter to say than great-grandfather."

"And?" Dean asked.

"He was also the head of the Aurors… that's like the wizard equivalent of Scotland Yard, the Secret Service, and the army, all rolled into one." Harry said. "And I cannot stress enough how paranoid he is. He doesn't trust anybody, not even me. He measures his friends in terms of 'I mistrust you less than usual'. He sees long dead criminals and convoluted conspiracies around every corner."

Dean was looking really confused now. "What does this have to do with me?"

Harry rubbed the back of his neck. "Well you see, just because he doesn't trust me, doesn't mean he's not looking out for me. And so… well, he did background checks on my housemates. Including you."

Dean stiffened.

"And… well, normally I wouldn't say anything, but your background check got… intimate." Harry blushed. "Grandpa figured out that your dad was a wizard, and narrowed it down to several candidates."

Dean was staring at him, with an open mouth.

"He's busy on a secret assignment in America right now." Harry said. "But once he's done he'll come back and start doing really thorough background checks… and I just… well, I know if I had a chance to meet my dad I'd jump at it, and I thought I'd ask…"

"You're serious?" Dean asked, suddenly. "You're not pulling my leg? Your grandpa's going to find my dad?"

Harry blinked. "Well…" He said uncertainly. "He mentioned that some of the people on the list were dead, and some were dark wizards who probably wouldn't be thrilled with meeting their half-blood son, but yeah, my grandpa's going to try to…"

He was interrupted again, as Dean grabbed him and hugged him.

"Thank you!" Dean cried. "This is… I mean… I can't even…"

Harry awkwardly patted him on the back. "Are you okay Dean?"

'Yeah, it's just…" He pulled away. "I thought my dad might have been a wizard too, and I thought I'd have to look, even though it'd take years. But now, somebody else is already looking!"

Harry smiled. He knew exactly what he meant; wonders just seemed to pile up in the wizarding world.

"Can I… can I see the list?" Dean asked.

Harry made sure to fold the parchment back, so Dean would only see his section, and not the embarrassing stuff Moody said about Ron and Neville. Dean was ecstatic that the list seemed so small, and he was convinced that in time Moody would be able to tell him which one was his dad. He was hopeful that it wasn't one of the dead ones or one of the dark ones.

All of this resulted in them being late for their first class.

They rushed into Transfiguration class and breathed a sigh of relief. McGonagall wasn't there.

"Made it." Dean sighed. Some heads turned to them, but otherwise went back to writing something down on their parchments. "Can you imagine the look on McGonagall's face if we were late?"

The black and grey striped cat sitting on the desk turned a glare on them, and leaped off of its perch. It transformed, mid leap, into their transfiguration teacher.

Harry gulped. "That was brilliant…" He said, in a hopeful attempt at flattery.

"Why thank you Mr. Potter." She said. "Perhaps I can demonstrate again by turning either you or Mr. Thomas into a pocket watch? That way one of you might be on time."

"We got lost." Dean protested weakly.

"Then perhaps a map? I trust you don't need one to find your seats."

Harry remembered Moody's letter saying McGonagall was supposed to be the fair teacher, and resolved to be on time for the next class, even if it did mean turning Dean into a pocket watch.

Hogwarts was a like a maze that was trying not to be a maze and failing miserably. The staircase and the corridors moved around frequent enough to really slow down a student on his way to class, yet infrequent enough that they were unpredictable. There were sometimes false steps, pieces of the stairway that looked like they were solid, but would act like quicksand if you actually stepped on them. The reason for this, as Harry had read in Hogwarts a History, was because Hogwarts wasn't really a castle. It was four castles.

During the First War of Herpo the Foul, the founders of Hogwarts had each defended their own castles. But they constructed Hogwarts between the first and second wars, leaving Herpo with a very vulnerable weak point to exploit against them. It was Helga Hufflepuff who saved the day, crafting a powerful spell that, even with Ravenclaw's alterations, only four extremely powerful wizards could hope to cast. The spell managed to merge all four of their ancestral castles and Hogwarts into one mighty fortress. With the unfortunate side effect that sometimes the castle forgot whether its staircases were supposed to be pointing up or down, or whether the clock tower was in the center of the school or the far right, or whether the west wing had any windows or not.

Thankfully, the portraits lining the halls would usually be more than helpful. Their helpfulness was balanced out by Peeves, the Poltergiest. He was a right terror, and to be waylaid by him was an almost sure sign that one would be late for class. Thankfully, Lydia had the Maitlands protecting her, and she claimed to have experience with troublesome poltergeists as well.

Harry witnessed this firsthand, when he and his friends were walking to Charms class on their second day. Peeves was sticking a cat to the underside of the stairwells with some chewing gum when Lydia had decided to intervene.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Peeves looked up from his handiwork. "I'm helping Mrs. Norris here overcome her fear of heights."

"Give her to me now." She said dangerously.

Peeves flew up to her. "Shan't." He said, his nose in the air. "You ain't the boss of me. Nothin' but an ickle firstie you are."

"You shall."

"Shan't."

"Otherwise, I'm going to have to get her myself, and then I shall be angry."

Peeves looked at her curiously. "Wotch'er gonna do, eh? Watch'ya gonna do ickle firstie?" He blew a raspberry. "Ickle firstie gryffindork thinks she's so brave standing up to Mr. big bad giesty. But you got nothing. Nothing but your little wand and a couple of lame brain giesty shames." He blew raspberries at the Maitlands. "Not even real giesties they are. No sense of mischief. But me, I'm Peeves! I'm the ghost with the most! I've got it all!"

"No." Lydia said. "What you have is a poor cat stuck underneath that staircase, and the prayer that you'll get it for me before I have to get it myself. Because I've met the ghost with the most. And if I have to get that cat myself, I'd be tempted to say his name. Three. Times."

Harry hadn't known until then that a ghost could get any more pale. Peeves hastily fetched Mrs. Norris, and brought him to Lydia. "There. No harm done." He said.

As the group made their way up the stairs, Lydia stroking the gum out of Mrs. Norris' fur, Peeves shouted after her. "You were bluffing!" He yelled. "You wouldn't really call him!" He paused. "I mean, you just wouldn't, would you?"

"You know." Ron said when they'd gotten a safe distance away. "You're a little scary sometimes. Brilliant, but scary."

"Who do you know who's so scary that Peeves would run from you?" Eli asked. "And what was that about saying his name three times?"

"Oh, I know a Poltergiest who'll come if I say his name three times." Lydia blushed. "I was bluffing. I'd never call for him except in a real emergency."

Mrs. Norris belonged to the janitor, Filch. Filch was about as bad as Peeves as a distraction, always waylaying students for dragging mud through the corridors, or on suspicion of carrying dungbombs. But after Lydia had rescued Mrs. Norris, she gained some favor with him and he left her alone.

Soon, the only thing that kept Harry and the others late for practice, were the crowds that formed around Lydia as one of the safest people to traverse Hogwarts' hallways with.

The classes were amazing though. Professor Flitwick was very small, but otherwise Harry couldn't think of a less goblin-like person. He was a jovial bubble of energy, and he absolutely radiated harmlessness. He may as well be a cute little kitten, waiting to be picked up and cuddled. He wasn't even just small like a goblin, his proportions were inhumanely cute with a big head balanced on top of a little withered old body.

Even the way he did magic… Professor McGonagall was so much like a cat, every movement controlled, her eyes sharp and focused. When she had transfigured her desk into a pig in front of them, she had done so with an air of power, and there was no doubt that she could turn any of her students into anything she wanted to.

Flitwick merely waddled into the room and waved his wand, and the books laying haphazardly around the front of the classroom organized themselves into a staircase leading up to a tottering podium of books. It should have been far more impressive, all those books flying around the classroom, but Flitwick made it look so… commonplace. When he reached Harry's name on the attendance register, he let out a small squeak, and fell off his little book tower.

Harry watched as Flitwick took Eli aside, and discussed blind spellcasting, and the effects not being able to see would have on some spells, and how they could possibly circumvent them. And this man was related to those grim looking goblins Harry had met? He'd sooner believe that Hermione Granger was secretly a serial killer.

Actually, he realized he didn't want to think about what went on behind the mind of the silent, bushy haired girl.

Flitwick was also the head of the student choir, though Harry decided not to join. Music class was difficult enough, as Harry had to learn to play the flute, but choir members were expected to sing as well, and play such magical instruments as singing frogs.

Harry had no interest in herbology. Particularly because some of the plants they handled required precise timing. And Harry soon found out that he had nothing resembling a green thumb.

Professor Zatanna's class though, was really interesting. Zatanna was a stage magician, who wowed muggle's minds as the next Houdini. He started off the class with a few simple tricks, and then began to talk about showmanship. There wasn't really much teaching of defense going on, as much as escape. He explained that many of houdini's escape artist tricks were invented many years ago to circumvent muggle witch hunts.

One spell he used, caught Harry's full attention. Alohamora.

Alohamora, Professor Zatanna explained, would unlock any lock and get you away from muggles quickly. It was also useful for wizards who don't want to bother with keys.

That garnered a laugh from his classmates, but Harry couldn't help but think of how incredible that spell was. He wondered whether it worked on electronic doors, or doors guarded with passcodes, retinal scans, or handprint identification.

If it did, just knowing that spell was halfway to making anybody the greatest thief the muggle world would ever see.

Harry was looking forward to History of Magic. His mistake. Their teacher, Professor Binns, was a ghost, who was so boring that when he died he didn't even notice, and just kept on teaching. Harry tried to pay attention, he really did. He didn't see how anybody could make a mess out of History, particularly when the coursebook had been so fascinating. But no, Binns made Gryffindor's defeat of Herpo the Foul sound like he was reading somebody's grocery list. The only people who seemed to be able to pay attention was Lydia, carried solely out of concern for her ghostly teacher, and Hermione, who may or may not be insane. Harry joined his classmates in a desktop nap halfway through.

So far, school had been a mixed bag for Harry. Flitwick, Zatanna, and McGonagall were his favorite teachers, but the other subjects were either not his forte or taught by the single most boring ghost alive.

So it was with great joy, that on their fourth day at Hogwarts Eli rushed over to Harry and pulled him along through the corridors. "I found it!" He said. "I found the Library!"

The library was huge. Much like Hogwarts was four different castles merged into one, Hogwarts library was a collection of books from all four founders, merged into one enormous monument to knowledge. The books and shelves moved around as much as the staircases did, but the big surprise came, when Eli started reading.

"Madame Pince?" He asked the librarian.

"What is it?"

"Um… I'm blind. Do you know what…"

"Of course I know what blind means. I suppose you were about to ask me why you can read even though you can't see?"

Eli nodded.

"Well, this library has parts from Helga Hufflepuff's ancestral library. And Helga enchanted her library so that she could read the books in it. You see, she was blind too."

Harry and Ron could barely pull Eli away from the library to go to class after that. He loved books. And really, Harry couldn't blame him for wanting to stay. The history section of the library was a wonderful change of pace from Binn's lectures to read the epic sagas of the Hogwarts Four.

By far his most exciting find in the library was a biography of Irene Adler. It was mostly just the facts of her life, no idle speculation. There was a short mention of her association with a muggle detective named Sherlock Holmes, and primary focus was given to her marriage to Moody.

Apparently, she was in the business of marrying wealthy muggles and stealing from them before a divorce (or unfortunate accident). Moody was the third wizard she'd married, and the book went on for two chapters about the multiple murder attempts Moody survived. Harry smirked. He could just imagine Moody checking his wedding wing for black curses, or buying a pet dragon to sniff out any manticores snuck in through the mail, or wearing a medieval helmet to bed.

Harry laughed at some point during those chapters. Reading about grandpa Moody's marriage was like watching a Tom & Jerry cartoon.

But the exciting thing about it was that, while the book didn't give any details about her infamous break-in into Gringotts, it did cite a book. _Infamous;_ _A History of Thefts in Wizardry_. And it got better; it was in the Restricted Section. The restricted section was closed off to students without written permission, and the shelves were locked up in chains.

It was like saying he had to prove himself worthy before he could read it. And he knew he was up for the task.

The last day of the first week started out great. He was already coming up with a plan to get into the restricted section, when Seamus gasped. "Somebody broke into Gringotts!"

Harry's blood turned cold. He looked across the hall as other wizard born students got the news.

"Could I see?" He asked.

Seamus handed over the Daily Prophet and Harry breathed a sigh of relief. They'd gotten in and out, but nothing had been stolen. He had been afraid for a moment that he'd be the second one to rob Gringotts, and being second wasn't half as fun.

"Who do you think it was?" Ron asked.

"That's a fair question." Harry said. "You'd think that if they were skilled enough to break into Gringotts they would have signed their work."

"Why would they do that?" Ron asked. "If they leave any evidence behind, wouldn't they get caught?"

"Signing your work and leaving evidence are two separate things." Harry explained. "In… the muggle world –" He didn't want to have to explain that he planned on doing the things he talked about just yet "- thieves will usually leave some sort of signature or mark, so that when the police find out what's been stolen the right thief will get the credit."

"Like what?"

"Well, the Blue Fox is notorious for leaving a blue fox statue at the scene of his crimes, sometimes with a letter. A lot of thieves just prefer to leave a letter, or confront the person they stole from face to face after or before the crime. I once heard of a pair of burglars calling themselves the wet bandits. Whenever they ransacked a house, they'd leave all of the faucets running, so when the families came home they'd find their houses flooded and a huge bill for the water."

Ron looked strange. "So you reckon whoever broke into Gringotts should have left some sort of mark?"

"A calling card, yes." Harry said, rereading the newspaper. "But only if he actually stole something. I mean, breaking into Gringotts and not getting caught is prestigious on its own, but it's already been done. Being the first to rob Gringotts would have been enough to leave a calling card."

But he knew that whoever broke into Gringotts wasn't just doing it for the fame. He just read that whoever did it broke into the exact same high security vault that Hagrid had emptied during their trip to Hogwarts. Somebody was after the package that Mad-eye hadn't let out of his sight until it was with…

Dumbledore…

Whatever they wanted was in this castle.

He remembered Dumbledore's start of term speech. _The third floor corridor is out of bounds to anybody who does not wish to die a most painful death…_

_Well, I wanted adventure._

"You seem to know an awful lot about this sort of stuff." Harry was surprised to find Hermione squinting at him.

"Yeah, I don't think I've ever heard of anybody breaking into Gringotts." Ron said.

"My dad's in the security business." Harry said. "And my Great-grandpa's an auror. Sometimes they tell me stories. Like, there've been a few successful break-ins into Gringotts. Only one person's ever broken back out undetected before, but she didn't steal anything either."

Hermione looked a strange mixture of mollified and confused that somebody could know more than her.

Then the twins came up behind them. "Hello Harry, Ron, Washington, and the imposing Ms. Deetz."

"Hello Weasleys." Deetz greeted them in return. She'd built up a small rapport with the twins, starting with the incident on the train, and then growing with her scolding of Peeves. The twins seemed to treat her as only a year younger, instead of just another firstie.

"We heard you lot have potions today." Fred said.

"We would ask you to stay out of trouble, but that's hopeless." George said.

"Indeed. So instead we're having a cake baked for you." Fred beamed.

"We'll have one candle for each point you four lose for Gryffindor."

"Why would we lose points for Gryffindor?" Harry asked, confused.

"Because Snape's a right git." Fred said, as if it were obvious.

"I remember our first class Fred."

"Oh indeed George. One hundred points from Gryffindor and detention."

"Sore for a week we were."

"And Ms. Deetz Deetz is far to mischievous for her own good."

"So instead of 'stay out of trouble' we're going with…"

"Cake."

The twins beamed and sauntered off to their own end of the table.

"Nutters." Ron said. "But from what I've heard, Snape actually is that awful. He's the head of Slytherin house. Favors them like mad."

Harry went back to reading the Daily Prophet. "He can't be that bad. Hey Seamus, do you know how I could get a subscription to the Prophet?"

"Er, you can't." Seamus said. "Have to be at least fifteen."

"Then why do you have one?"

Seamus blushed, and Harry remembered too late that he had connections to the blackmarket and he wasn't supposed to say anything. "Well, I don't actually have a prescription." Seamus said. "My mum just has two subscriptions and she has one get owled to Hogwarts."

Oh. Nothing at all to do with blackmarkets then. Just a loophole in the rules. "D'you mind sharing? I just like to keep up with the world."

"No problem." He grinned.

Harry would have grinned too, except he noticed an article that made him turn whiter than the Gringotts article.

**_Man of Steel, Muggle of Magic!_**

_Last night, top Auror Alastor Moody proved to everybody that he wasn't quite senile just yet, when he revealed he was on a dangerous undercover assignment in metropolis. His mission? To find out exactly who this mysterious 'Superman' is._

_"Of course, when our friends in the Americas called for help, we couldn't just stand by." Cornelius Fudge, Minister for Magic said. "Whoever this Superman is, he's been blatantly disregarding the magical secrecy act, and so far none of their top aurors could catch him."_

_But Moody, partnering up with American Auror Jim Gardner, managed to put an end to his reign of terror at last. Moody discovered who he was, and that he lived a life among muggles disregarding the Statute of Secrecy even more. _

_But Auror Gardner had a surprise for us as he brought Superman in._

_"He's a Muggle." Gardner said. "Not a drop of magic on him. Makes sense. We haven't figured out yet how he does the things he does. And now we know it wasn't magic."_

_Alastor Moody is petitioning the Ministry over this, claiming that he regrets his role in the capture of Superman, and that the Ministry had no jurisdiction over muggles. But the Ministry is certain that magical means must have been used for Superman to do what he does, and are intent on finding out how a muggle stole them._

"Oh grandpa, what have you done?" Harry whispered. He should have known he'd do something like this. Everybody knew Superman was an alien. But everybody trusted him all the same. Everybody except Moody, who didn't trust anybody.

He was still worrying about this, as he went off to his double potions class with the Slytherins. His worrying was cut abruptly short, as the door to the classroom slammed open.

Professor Snape had an air of cold purpose. Harry had felt that air around his dad when they were plotting Willy Bank's fall from grace. It was truly frightening; it was the air of a person who could do anything they set their minds to. And he had to wonder, as Professor Snape started lecturing them before he even got to the podium in front, who could start the day with such an attitude?

"Wands away." He snapped. "There will be no foolish wand waving in my class. As such, I doubt many of you will appreciate the exact art that is potion making. However… For those of you who share such proclivities… I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper on death."

Harry busied himself taking notes, but then Ron nudged him, and he looked up into the potion master's face. "Mr. Potter… Our new celebrity…"

Harry's heart sunk to the floor the way Snape said that.

"Tell me what would I get if I added powdered Asphodel to an infusion of Wormwood?"

Harry scrambled but his mind drew a blank. "I… don't know." He said.

"You don't know? Well, let's try again. Where would you look if I asked you to find me a bezaor?"

Harry felt his face turn red, as he saw Hermione's hand shoot up out of the corner of his eye. He remembered this. Mad eye told him it cured most poisons. "I… suppose in a potion store sir."

Snape sneered. "Think you're funny Potter? Well, if you know about Bezoars, then perhaps you know the difference between Monkswood and Wolfsbane?"

Harry was searching through his mind for answers and came up blank. He knew some rudimentary things about Wolfsbane, but he had no idea what Monkswood was.

_Why is Snape doing this? Didn't I answered his question right?_

The thought gave him pause. Then he remembered. He remembered his time with the Dursleys. He'd barely had the courage to run away from them, because Vernon kept bullying him, making him feel like a freak. The only reason Harry could think of for Vernon doing what he did, was because he liked the power he had over a helpless

That was exactly what Snape was doing; making him feel helpless.

Harry felt himself get angry. He hated Snape. He wanted to stand right up in the middle of class, but…

Harry wouldn't lose control and snap at him. He was probably expecting that anyway. But he absolutely would not let Snape get to him.

"I take it from your silence that you don't know?" Snape sneered.

Harry shook his head.

"Pity. Clearly, fame isn't everything. Is it, Potter?"

"Clearly Hermione knows. Why don't you ask her?"

Harry spun around as Lydia stood up in her seat, glaring at Snape.

_NO!_ He wanted to scream. _Don't lose control! We don't have to do this now, we can do something about him later!_

Snape sneered at her. "Sit down you silly girl." He said. "For your information, Asphodel and Wormwood are essential in a sleeping potion so powerful it is known as the draught of the living death. A bezaor can, as Mr. Potter hilariously said, be found in a potion store, but it originates in the stomach of a goat. And Monkswood and Wolfsbane are the same plant, and they also go by the name Aconite. Well?" He glared around the classroom. "Why aren't you writing this down?"

Lydia looked like she was going to say something else, but Harry gestured for her to sit down. She glared at him, but eventually sat back down. Harry breathed a sigh of relief, and went back to taking notes and ignoring the smug smirk on Draco's face.

But then Snape let out another wry comment.

"And fifteen points from Gryffindor. For your classmate's cheek."

_Damn._ Harry was glad Lydia insisted she go to class without the Maitlands, otherwise he was worried she would have the poltergeists tear up the classroom.

"Cheek?" Lydia's face twisted into an expression of rage, outrage, everything in between. "Can you even hear how biased you are you sad Ichabod Crane wannabe?"

"A further ten points for your outburst, and detention." Ron tried to stand up and protest, but Harry grabbed him and kept him firmly in his seat. Luckily, Snape didn't see. He was too busy glaring at Lydia, almost daring her to have another outburst.

"And one more just for that reference to outdated muggle literature. Now, the potion we will be working on today is a relatively simple cure for boils. I hope it's simple enough for you Gryffindor minds."

"And I hope your excuse for a mind doesn't explode when you sniff the fumes." Lydia muttered.

"What a nasty imagination you have." Snape hissed. "I'm not sure how many points Gryffindor has, but I'm sure we can whittle them all away before class ends. Ten more points and a week of detention Ms. Deetz. Now, split into groups of two and ready your cauldrons."

* * *

Thankfully, Harry managed to partner with Lydia and warn her not to make more of a fuss. "I'll get him back for you later." Harry whispered. "Be patient."

"It's not about me." Lydia mumbled. "He's blatantly favoring Slytherin and abusing Gryffindors. We have to save them."

Harry sighed. "Wrong time. Wrong place. You're only playing into his hands. Now focus on the potion, and once we get out of here, then we can think about doing something."

He still didn't manage to stop her and Snape from trading house points for witty comments, but despite his threats she still wasn't expelled by the end of class, which could only be a plus. Lydia even seemed to be a natural at potions, earning the same sniff of "Acceptable." From Snape as Hermione Granger. But Snape gave higher praise to Draco, even though his potion was too thick and murky, and Harry didn't have to be a potion's master to see it.

"Did you see how Ron almost stood up to Snape?" Lavender asked Parvarti at the end of class. "It was so brave of him."

Lydia was furious. "That… that…"

"Evil old git?" Ron supplied.

"Yes!" Lydia said. "Thank you! How dare that evil old git do that?"

"It's the way it's always been." Ron said meekly.

"Not anymore." Harry said.

"What?" Lydia whirled on him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, we're going to get back at him." Harry didn't even need to think to know what should happen to people who hurt his friends. It was one of the first things his dad taught him; if somebody tris to hurt you, deal with it. If somebody tries to hurt your friends, crush them. "Ron, what do you know about Snape?"

"He's always favoring the Slytherins." Ron said. "And he's an evil old git. He's been in charge since my brother Charlie was in school."

"So it's reasonable to assume Dumbledore won't fire him if we take our complaints to him. We need to take matters into our own hands. Do you know if there's something of his that he couldn't stand losing?"

"I dunno, his greasy hair conditioner?" Ron shrugged. "The house cup? The tears of children?"

"What are you going to do?" Eli asked.

Harry grinned. "Well, that depends. Do you like your Snapes medium rare or extra krispy?"

* * *

_A/N: There were no new characters to be introduced this chapter. Except for Jim Gardner, who was from Stephen King's The Tommyknockers. Most of Stephen King's stories are Warner Bros, and I'm just so excited about that. Also, Raye Penbar was introduced indeirectly. Some may know him from Deathnote. Yes! The Deathnote movies are Warner Bros! Oh you can expect greatness when Deathnote comes into the plot. Also, a shout out to Space Jam with the last sentence and the scene with Lydia and Peeves was inspired by V's final fight scene in V for Vendetta. _

_I hope you like my explanation for why Hogwarts staircases move. I'm rather proud of it. I had considered doing a fanfic about the Four Founders once upon a time, I'd planned out a war of epic preportions. Slytherin liberating the Goblins from Herpo's armies, Ravenclaw's time-turner gambit, Hufflepuff, who isn't naturally as powerful as the other three, she had to work hard for it despite being blind. Sir Nicholas De Mimsy-Porpington's heroic sacrifice and Gryffindor's last stand at Godric's Hollow. Peeve's betrayal of Herpo the Foul, and the adventures of Sir Cadogan and the Bloody Baron. Queen Elizabeth confronting Herpo face to face unflinching, and Sir Walsingham's consequential spymaster exploits. Good stuff. Some of that story will find its way into this story. _

_For those who are interested, I'm setting up a poll on my profile for you to vote on Dean's Dad. Read and Review!_


	6. Just Crazy Enough to Work

**Book One**

**Just Crazy Enough To Work**

_Dear Grandpa. _

_No need to worry, the second letter didn't come. The teachers seem to be friendly, but I'll keep up the constant vigilance just in case. Snape's been rotten though. The first day of class he started asking me questions, and none of them were in the textbook. Then Lydia stood up for me, and managed to make things infinitely worse._

_I've made many friends in Gryffindor, including Ron Weasley,and some muggle born students you wouldn't be immediately familiar with; Lydia deetz, and Elijah Washington. As much as I appreciate you looking into my classmates, please DON'T! Some of what you wrote is very personal. I had to pull Dean aside and explain what you wrote about him, because I was worried you'd find out who his dad was and then I'd have to find some way of telling him about it later. You already used up about three paragraphs on him, I could tell this wasn't a mystery you would want to let go. Thankfully, he's not upset and he wants you to keep looking, but it could have been a lot worse._

_Speaking of making things worse, what on earth possessed you to arrest Superman? Are you mental? I mean, I know you don't trust anybody, but how many lives has he saved? And you've arrested him?_

_I've been keeping in touch with mom by the mirror. Dad's gone to Nevada on business, but I write to him and my muggle friends frequently. _

_Love,_

_Harry._

Harry reread the letter, then sealed it in an envelope and took it to the owlery. He hoped that he'd be able to figure out how to send his first letter okay. Maybe Hedwig would help him out. He hoped that Hedwig was being treated well.

On the way to the owlery, he stopped by the Third Floor Corridor. He looked around, shiftily, and reached for the door handle.

"Harry."

He pulled his hand back, as an amused Professor Anderson stepped into view.

"Were you about to try and get into the Third floor corridor?"

"No Professor." Harry said quickly. "I just got lost. You know how the staircases move on us. I didn't know it was the third floor corridor."

Professor Anderson nodded. "Well, I hope that when you do go through that door, you'll be a little more careful than just opening it up for a peek."

"I was just on my way to the owlery sir." Harry blushed in embarrassment a little for good measure, and showed him his envelope.

Professor Anderson looked confused. "Really?"

Harry nodded.

"Oh. Well… alright then. Carry on."

Harry did carry on. Maybe it was just Moody's thoughts making him nervous, but he wondered what the professor was doing on the third floor?

* * *

The empty classroom off to one side of the Gryffindor common room was filled with students. "Alright Harry." Fred & George said. "What're we doing here?"

"Just a moment." Harry said. "We're waiting for a couple more guys."

Anthony Goldstien and Padma Patil entered the room. "Hello you two." Harry said. "Where's Jules?"

"She didn't want to come." Padma said.

Harry made a mental note to talk to her sometime. She'd been avoiding him for a while, even though she was doggedly persistent in seeking him out on the train. "Alright, take a seat."

There were ten of them in all. Harry, Ron, Eli, Lydia, Fred, George, Padma, Anthony, Wayne, and Megan. His friends, the prankster brothers, two Ravenclaws, and two Hufflepuffs. It was a good team, but Harry felt like they needed just one more guy. Eleven was usually his lucky number.

"Alright." Harry said. "You've all likely heard of the disastrous first class of potions that cost Gryffindor most of its house points. By the way, there's cake in the corner."

Fred and George high fived. "Classic."

"Now, I don't know about you, but when somebody picks on my friends I want payback. Unfortunately, I don't know very much about Snape to get him back. I do know one thing though. He wants the house cup. So we're going to steal it from him."

The room went silent.

"Here's the plan."

* * *

_"First, we need to collect class schedules from all the years in all the houses."_

_"Blimey." Ron said. "Ask the impossible first off, will you?"_

_"It's not impossible, especially if Lydia asks the Maitlands…"_

_"You don't need any ghosts." Fred said._

_"Yeah, leave the collecting to us." George said proudly._

The twins terrors snuck underneath Gryffindor common room's carpet. Underneath, they half crawled and half bounced through a hallway lined with fabric on all sides. "I've got to say Fred, this is pretty ambitious for a firstie."

"Indeed. Do you reckon the plan'll work?"

"I guess we'll have to see."

"Be nice to win the house cup this year. The seven year Slytherin streak is wounding my pride."

"Mine too Fred. What do you think of Mr. Potter?"

"I dunno. He thinks big, that's for sure. But I'm not sure if he can deliver. We'll see."

George lifted up one of the carpets and poked a head out from behind a tapestry above the first year Slytherin dormitories. "Accio schedule." A piece of paper flew to his hand, and he ducked back into the passage.

"We'll see."

* * *

_"Alright. Then, we need to compare the schedules. I want to know exactly where every Slytherin class is, when they could be expected to cross paths with another house in the halls. We also need to be able to tell within a reasonable doubt where the teachers will be at any given time."_

_"You need a probability matrix!" Padma proclaimed, as Anthony gave her a strange look._

_"A what?"_

_"A graph of all those things, which can be midified to predict the outcomes of any given question pertaining to them."_

_"I take it the ravenclaws will be all over that?"_

"It just doesn't make sense." Terry groaned. "How could are last three trial runs be failures? What are we doing wrong?"

"As far as I can tell, nothing." Mandy Brocklehurst said. "The schedules have been confirmed, and our math is sound."

"Well there must be something wrong with the math." Padma moaned. "Come on, do we want Slytherin to win the house cup again?"

The three sighed. They'd been working at this for hours.

"Haven't any of you heard of chaos theory?"

They turned as Juliet stalked towards them. "Chaos theory. Basically, just because you've done the math, it doesn't mean nature will agree with you." She looked at the sheet. "Oh, this is pathetic. You haven't even accounted for the fact there might be additional factors you can't predict, much less tried to figure out what those factors are."

She sat down and began to hurriedly scribble notes onto their work.

* * *

_"Now sorry for all the work in phase one and two, but phase three is probably going to be the funnest phase. Now that we know when the Slytherins will likely be close to professors, we wait until they're nearby and then provoke the Slytherins into bullying us."_

_"Wait, you want to get bullied?" Lydia asked._

_"Apparently."_

A group of four third year Slytherins were coming down from transfiguration. Harry looked down the corridor and saw Fred give him the signal and split.

Harry kept his face and his eyes down, and tried for all the world to look like Neville Longbottom. He rushed down the corridor, not looking where he was going. With a mighty crash, he bumped right off of one of the larger Slytherins and tumbled to the floor, his books spilling all over the floor.

"Well well well. An ickle firsty not looking where he's going." A large hand lifted him up and Harry suddenly realized just how small he was as he looked into the eyes of the Slytherin team's twin beaters.

"And Potter no less." A girl pointed.

The leader of the group, a fairly large Slytherin with a less brutish face than the other two, grinned. "Well mister Potter, I believe you owe us an apology."

Harry gulped. "No."

"No?" The beater holding Harry shoved him towards his buddy, who shoved Harry right back.

"Oh Rookwood." The girl held the leader's hand. "I don't think Harry wants to apologize."

"How rude." Rookwood said, sticking out his leg as Harry was shoved. Tripping Harry to the floor.

Harry's heart was pounding wildly. Perhaps he shouldn't have volunteered to be the first one to see if this trick worked. He hoped that his back-up would be here soon.

"Hey!" The four turned around to see Lydia. "Leave him alone."

"Hiding behind your girlfriend Potter?"Rookwood sneered.

"What is going on here?" Professor McGonagall swept into the hall.

She took in the sight of Harry on the floor, his books scattered everywhere, the guilty looks on the frozen Slytherins, and the angry look on Lydia's face. "They were pushing Harry around, and tripping him." Lydia said.

"Five points from each of you." She glared at the Slytherins. "And detention."

Harry picked himself and his books up, trying to hide the triumphant smile that was trying to creep onto his face.

"And ten points for Gryffindor, for helping a classmate and showing bravery."

* * *

_"However, it's not enough that Slytherin lose points for bullying. Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw, also have to earn as much points as we can. It doesn't matter who wins the cup, as long as it's not Slytherin. In fact, I'm hoping we can send them to last place."_

Ernie Macmillan picked himself up. "Thirty points from Slytherin and a detention for each of you." Professor Sprout hissed. "And five points to each Ravenclaw who tried to help him.

* * *

_"To this end, we will not only be playing the parts of the bullied, but also the parts of the rescuer."_

Ron winced and rubbed his backside. "As a professor, I must say five points from Gryffindor for fighting in the hallways." Professor Flitwick squeaked. "However, twenty five points to Gryffindor for exemplary spellwork! Well done!"

"It was bad enough you two had to rescue me, why'd you come along Percy?"

The twins snickered, and Percy, not in on the first year's plans, looked confused. "I am a prefect." Percy said. "It's my job to keep order. Didn't you want to be rescued?"

Ron mumbled something as his face turned red under the twin's beaming smiles.

"A simple thank you will suffice." Percy huffed, and left down the hallway.

* * *

_"However, somebody's bound to notice Slytherin's losing sometimes. So we do this sparingly, maybe set up an encounter three times a week, and intervene with the ones we don't set up. Meanwhile, we'll be looking for another of Professor Snape's weak spots, so if he does catch on we can move onto plan be of making him wish he'd never taught at Hogwarts." _

Harry had been practicing with the Alohamora charm. He had a lock he kept in his mokeskin pouch, and he was getting the hang of unlocking it with a swish of the wand and a magic word.

But he needed more than Alohamora if he was going to be the first person to rob Gringotts.

He originally planned on sneaking into the library at night, but he had no idea how much the restricted section was protected. He couldn't count on just Alohamora when his classmates told stories about books eating student's faces off.

Then he came up with a plan to ask Percy for the book, as Prefects and House Heads were trusted with access to the restricted section. But he couldn't trust Percy, and he couldn't explain why. Any plan to overcome those obstacles would probably be too large and unwieldly.

In the end, he's simply asked Professor Binns to sign a book for him to take out. It was, after all, a history book. Madame Pince looked at him suspiciously, but soon brought a copy of _Infamous_ to the front desk and checked it out for him, with the warning that he bring it back within a week.

Harry couldn't wait to read it, and settled down in a chair right then and there in the library. He found something surprising in the table of contents right away.

_They wouldn't._

He flipped through to chapter eighteen, _Stolen Knowledge_. And entire chapter on magical book thieves, the most common types of thieves before the printing press. Harry realized why Madame Pince had been suspicious of him immediately, when he saw her ancestor accredited with being the best in the business. Then he found what he was looking for.

_They did!_

The book described a charm for copying the contents of one book onto another. Harry could have skipped for joy. Return the book in a week? Of course. He'd have a copy after all.

* * *

_"This might just be crazy enough to work." Eli said._

"Drop your wands." Harry said, flanked by his friends. The Slytherins eyes went wide, as professor Anderson came up behind them, and released Neville from the jelly leg curse. Harry grinned as the hourglasses behind them put Slytherin's points down to a measly forty points, and Gryffindor's hourglass filled itself past the three hundred mark. And they hadn't even needed to set Neville up to be bullied.

_"Of course. Now, who wants cake?" Harry grinned._

* * *

"Expelliarmus, maxima."

With a flick of his wand, every wand in the class flew out of their owners hands and came to a rest at Professor Zatanna's feet. With another gesture, the five scarecrows behind him suddenly stood at attention.

Harry began to be apprehensive. Professor Zatanna had told them that they'd be having their classes outside today, and he'd seen some very sore looking sixth year hufflepuffs with various colored skins making their way inside earlier.

"It is important that you know how to escape harm without the use of your wands." The Professor said. "Next week, I may decide to attack you myself, but for now these scarecrows will represent muggles. The objects in their hands, for those who don't know, are called guns. They fire hot metal at a target, at speeds faster than most offensive spells. If these were real guns, and they shot you, you would most likely die without magical attention, as guns wounds can be very messy, and very, very painful."

"The object of this lesson is to not be shot. When I ring the bell, you will flee. And they will attempt to shoot you. Oh, don't worry though. The guns are enchanted so you will merely turn an odd color. These colors will not wear off for three hours though, so obviously it is in your best interests to not get shot. And, just so you know, they are enchanted to target the slowest wizards in their line of sight. If you see a shot near you, that means you should probably speed up."

The assembly of students were all looking very pale now. Some were looking calculating. Except Juliet, Harry noticed. She was looking bored.

Professor Zatanna made a few extravagant wand flourishes, and a ring of fire encircled them. "When there are only five of you left, I will add another layer of difficulty. Now." He took a bell out of his jacket. "Run."

_*Ding-a-ling*_

The students scattered as the scarecrows raised their weapons. Neville was the first to fall, his skin a mix of four different colors. The fifth scarecrow almost snagged Lydia.

Harry managed to dodge next to Juliet. "Hey Jules." He said, as they ran along the edge of the fire together. "You seem to be doing well."

She wasn't even sweating, despite being easily faster than most of the class and close to the fire. "We had very similar exercises in H.I.V.E." She said, somehow managing to shrug as she ran.

"You know, someday I really have to ask you more about your old school."

"No you don't. Why are you talking to me?"

"Because I haven't seen you since the Hogwarts express. I wanted to talk to you."

Jules stared at him, then waved over his shoulder. "Terry, over here!"

A Ravenclaw boy jogged over to them, huffing and puffing. "Hey Juliet."

"Terry, this is Harry Potter. Harry, this is Terry Boot. He's a friend of mine in Ravenclaw."

"We've met." Harry began huffing too.

Jules shot out a leg and kicked Terry in the knee. He collapsed on the ground and got shot, turning a shade of red.

"What was that for?" Harry asked, alarmed.

"Hadn't I made it clear on the train how evil I am?" Juliet said. "Why on earth would you want to talk to me?"

"Because you wanted to be my friend." Harry said. "Why, changed your mind?"

"I never wanted you to be my friend." Juliet said. "Didn't you get the hints? Don't you know a monster when you see one?"

"You're not a monster."

"No? Terry would disagree right now."

"Why did you want to be my friend in the first place?"

"I wanted to put up a good show of it, because Headmistress asked me to. You're a valuable ally, politically, socially, economically, and magically, and they want you in their school over the summer."

"And you don't want me to be your ally?"

"No. I don't need any allies. I'm better on my own."

Harry thought of something she'd said back on the train. "Well…" He narrowly dodged a shot energy, and picked up his pace. "Well too bad. Crossing my path means bad luck, and now you're stuck with me."

Her eyes widened and she almost stumbled. She looked like she was about to say something else, when Professor Zatanna rang the bell again.

"Well done." He said. "And now there are only five of you left." Harry looked around. Him and Jules, Eli, and the Patils were the only ones not wearing different colors. Lydia's pale skin was now tomato red, while Ron was as white as a ghost with ocean blue spots. It brought out his hair rather nicely.

"Now, it has happened that wizards have had to flee muggles in weaker states. Sometimes bound, sometimes starving and weary. He fired of five curses in rapid succession. Harry felt his legs come together like one. He looked around and saw the Patils had the leg locking curse on them as well, while Eli and Jule's legs were waving around like they were made of ribbon.

"The Leg Locking curse and the Jelly-leg curse will simulate these scenarios. You will all have a chance to try it, but for now let's see what you five are made of."

_*Ding-a-ling*_

Harry dove out of the way again, but it was difficult to dodge with his legs locked together. Running was no longer an option.

Suddenly, Jules grabbed his color. "I didn't cross your path, you crossed mine. I'm a jinx. You should be afraid of me." She tossed him straight into the path of two incoming shots. He looked down at his hands, and saw the mixture of pink and black spread across his skin like a series of tattoos.

The Patils were already down, and Eli was struggling. Jules just stood right in the path of the scarecrows and dodged like made. Her body whirled on the spot, sometimes making the multiple spells miss her by mere inches.

Then Eli fell, and she somehow managed to use her pasta-like legs to spring high into the air. She cartwheeled through shot of magic, straight towards the professor. She grabbed his wand arm and held it behind his back using him as a shield.

"Surrender!" She yelled.

_*Ding-a-ling*_

The scarecrows stopped firing, and Professor Zatanna laughed. "Twenty points for Ravenclaw Ms. Landau. She has just demonstrated not only exceptional athletic form, but also a very impressive strategy; the best defense, is a good offense."

Jules tried to release the professor, but he gripped her and kept her behind his back. "However, her strategy has a rather exploitable flaw. She tried to take the most important person she could find as a hostage."

_*Ding-a-Ling*_

The scarecrows aimed again and fired. The colored shot went straight through Professor Zatanna and hit Jules.

Professor Zatanna shook his hand free of her, his face a very deep shade of purple, with yellow stars glittering on it. "I enchanted the shot so they would shoot through somebody who was already colored. This way, if one of you had tried to use your fallen friends as a shield, your attempt would not have succeeded."

"Muggle guns differ from spells in that they will rarely stop upon hitting their body unless they are designed to. If you take a muggle hostage, they will consider the hostage already dead and savagely shoot through him to get to you. All you have done in taking a hostage is slowed yourself down and allowed them to get a bead on you."

Jules bowed her head, somehow managing to blush through her green, red, and chocolate tye-died skin.

They went through the exercise three more times, but this time with various strategies the professor concocted. Harry noticed that the strategies helped with running away, but made it much more difficult to fight back.

By the end of the class he'd been moderately successful dodging the scarecrows. His face was now a mask of green ('Matches your eyes' Ron said with a snicker) but other than that, he hadn't gained any extra colors. He was rather proud; the best that class only got one color after the first exercise, while Jules didn't get any. Neville, on the other hand, looked like a rainbow.

Juliet didn't talk to him again that day.

* * *

_Harry._

_I get that you're upset about the Superman situation. Believe it or not, I'm upset too. You're right, sometimes I can't for the life of me let a mystery go. It's often been a blessing; it's saved my life many times, and it's how I met Irene. But He's too suspicious, and everybody was acting like he wasn't suspicious, and when the American Aurors Association asked for my help, I had to investigate._

_Superman can fly without leaving a visible magical trail. He's shown strength equal to a user of Boradon Potion, and his eyes are just slightly weaker then my magic eye, even though the spells I used to make it more powerful were extremely dangerous and couldn't be preformed on any human eye, and my eye can't shoot beams of fire. He's faster than a Nibmus 2000, and he can shift a double decker bus by blowing too hard. On top of all this, he's impossibly good looking, when he's not in disguise._

_You have to understand, these past two months ever since Superman showed up the AAA has been trying to bring Superman in for almost blowing wizard's secrets and failing. He outmaneuvered them every time they confronted him. Now, when somebody with this much power keeps emberassing one of the most powerful wizard organizations in the world by sending them away with muggle police (Voldemort did that once or twice, when he was more about sending a message then outright slaughtering his enemies) that's a warning sign. A great big warning sign saying, 'look at me! I'm going to be the next dark lord, and I think I'm powerful enough not to care if you know'!_

_Naturally, I apprehended him as fast as I could (a matter of weeks; he's a tough little bugger) and then I realized that he was a muggle. After interrogating him at length with veritaserum, and a few anti-occlumency charms which I shan't write down, I decided he was in the clear. But now Eagle (The Eagle is akin to a Minister of Magic for the Americas) is fighting with fudge over him. I've reported to Dumbledore who's been advising fudge to grant Superman a pardon and obliviate him, as he's obviously just a muggle and a victim of circumstance, but the Eagle is intent on imprisoning him for violence against Aurors and resisting arrest and a load of other tosh. I'm doing what I can._

_As for Dean, that little mystery'll have to wait, but I'm sure I'll crack it. For now, I have news on your friends; Ms. Deetz (I thought I recognized her) is well known in the Department of Has-Beens. They moniter ghost activity. Ms. Deetz had been a person of interest for a year now. She has two poltergeists haunting her, who are allowed to haunt Hogwarts as long as she is there, and as long as they adhere to the rules. _

_But not only does she have a pair of poltergeist companions, she is also one of only eleven people in the entire world with the knowledge of a name of power. Names of power are dark magics Harry, words that can invoke terrible things. To my knowledge, there are only twenty of them, and I know sixteen. She knows one of the four names that I have never been privy too because they are too dangerous and I was deemed untrustworthy (what a load of tosh). Apparently, you won't let me pick your friends for you, so I won't try to convince you to stay away from her. Just be careful; walking around with this girl, is like walking around with a muggle atomic weapon. I can't believe I didn't warn you about her in my last letter. I think I'm getting old. But don't tell anybody that, and burn this letter after reading._

_Oh, and don't worry. Next time I report to Dumbledore I'll have a few words with Snape._

_With Love, Constant Vigilance,_

_Grandpa Moody._

Harry put the letter in his pocket on the way from breakfast. He couldn't imagine Superman being a dark lord, but at least hi grandpa had his reasons and was trying to stop it now. He often found relief in moments when he realized that he wasn't completely insane.

He rounded the corner without thinking, then ducked back. There were five fifth year Ravenclaws in the hallway, and they'd cornered the Granger girl.

"So of course, you know the counter curse for the acne jinx." The leader hissed.

"C-c-clarifus." She stammered.

"Oh, you think you're so much better than us!" Spat a girl.

"N-no!" She cried. "I don't."

"Arrogant little Hermione Ganger, thinks she's too smart for Ravenclaw, asks the hat to sort her into Gryffindor. How smart are you now little girl?"

Harry had his wand out. But five fifth years… he wasn't sure whether he could scare them away, or if a professor would walk by. He tried to decide wether he should go, find Professor McGonagall or…

"Leave her alone!" Draco Malfoy stood in hallway, flanked by two large kids.

The leader of the Ravenclaws sneered. "Masey?"

Masey, the small Ravenclaw, pushed his glass up. "Draco Malfoy, heir to the house Malfoy, head of the board of directors at Hogwarts. His dad's a major political figure in the Ministry of Magic. Respected among Slytherins, and feared by the Hufflepuffs due to a second year's mistake of mistaking him for a girl on the train. Rumor is sketchy on what happens next, but it earned him the nickname 'Draco the Dreaded'. To his left is Gregory Goyle, to his right Vincent Crabbe, all three the sons of Death Eaters.

Draco sneered. "Show off." Crabbe muttered.

"Oh really." The lead Ravenclaw sneered back. "Well, it's easy to see how one could make a mistake. Run along little waif, this is Ravenclaw business…"

A flash of light filled the hall, and the lead Ravenclaw grabbed his mouth. He screamed a muffled scream, and hi front teeth began growing like a rats.

"What do we have here?"

The Ravenclaws had their wands out now, but they immediately went silent when Professor Snape rounded the hallway.

"I believe I have a grasp on this situation. Fifteen points for each ravenclaw who was participant to the abuse of this poor girl. Now you have a decision to make Prunckle… go to the hospital wing to deal with those teeth, or attemd my class with those unsightly things. If you choose the hospital wing, ten further points from Ravenclaw for tardiness."

The Ravenclaws scrambled away.

"And… I believe the going rate it ten points for ach defender?" Snape asked Malfoy. "Thirty points to Slytherin. And after that, I think it only fair… to remove thirty points from Gryffindor for not helping a classmate in need Mr. Potter."

Harry jumped. He felt like he'd been hit by a car. There was no way Snape had seen him.

Snape rounded on the corner of the corridor Harry was hiding behind. "And you'd better hope that I don't find any evidence of your plotting. Yes, twenty Slytherin detentions in one week? I know what you're up to, and it'll cost you more points than you can count once I find proof."

Harry looked around the corner, and Snape retreated with his students. Hermione looked at Harry, with tears in her eyes, before gathering her books and running away. Harry would have felt sorry for her… but he was too busy glaring at Snape's back.

Well well well, a worthy opponent

"Of course you realize." He muttered. "This means war."

* * *

_A/N: No new characters introduced this Chapter. I considered doing the whole story in Harry's point of view as J. intended, but that wouldn't make for a fun Ocean's eleven montage would it? So I'll slip in and out of other character's viewpoints every once in a while._

_For those who are interested, there's poll on my profile for you to vote on Dean's Dad. I only listed the applicant's for Dean that I had subplots ready for, but if you vote Other, please tell me in your review who of the applicants that were listed in the last chapter you would want to see as Dean's dad, and why._

_Read and Review!_


	7. Explosions

**Book One**

**Explosions**

The Common Room was a bustle of activity that morning. Everybody was talking to each other. "What's up?" Harry asked, as he sat down for breakfast.

Lydia was practically jumping up and down in her seat. "It's so exciting it's… Seamus! Seamus, Harry needs the paper!"

"Here." Raven toseed her copy of the Daily Prophet down the table, and Eli caught it handily in mid-air and handed it to Harry.

**LIFE AMONG THE STARS!** The headline proclaimed. **WE ARE NOT ALONE!**

The article went on about an alien attack in America, in Coast City. Unfortunately, since Superman was locked up somewhere, the city was almost defenseless. Three Aurors were lost, valiantly trying and failing to stop the alien menace.

Fortunately, a brave muggle named John Stewart saved the day. Apparantly, he had some sort of strange device that allowed him to cast distinctly colored patronuses (whatever those were) and chase away the invaders.

With the realization that a few muggles were actually able to do things that wizards couldn't, Superman was obliviated and released. Meanwhile some people called Unspeakables were taken away from their previous jobs to form a unit devoted to studying the muggle so-called 'superheroes'.

"I heard about Unspeakables." Ron said. "They work in the department of mysteries. They're mad, the lot of them, but brilliant. They make all sorts of weird stuff to do all sorts of weird stuff."

Harry filed away his desire to break into this 'department of mysteries' until he was at least fifteen.

A good portion of the pages were devoted to the political upheaval in the Ministry. The Yaxleys, Malfoys, and Greengrasses had formed a group who wanted these 'super muggles' rounded up and killed. Another group, headed by the Brocklehursts, the Moons, and the Abbotts were pushing for abolishing the statute of secrecy since the muggles obviously weren't so scared of the supermuggles that they were burning them at the stake, so why should witches and wizards be scared of muggles?

Harry knew what he was going to write to grandpa about in his next letter.

* * *

Broomstick lessons were exciting. Ron was boasting about how his family were all great Quidditch players (except for Percy, but that was usually a given). Malfoy spread stories about his flying which always seemed to end with him being chased by a muggle helicopter.

Surprisingly, Lydia confirmed this; The Witch-Boy of Baskerville was very well known among cryptozoological circles, gaining almost as much of a reputation as Gremlins among pilots.

Harry felt butterflys in his stomach as Madame Hooch began to instruct them. "Raise your right hands over your brooms, and say up!"

"Up!" The chorus went out, and Harry was surprised to see that his broom shot to his hand. He looked around, and saw that only Draco and Eli had the same amount of success. Most brooms just rose up groggily. Hermione's broom was twirling around on the ground. Ron's broom shot up… and missed his hand, smacking him right in the nose.

"Shut up Harry." He muttered, as Harry couldn't hide his snickers.

"Right." Once everybody was back on their brooms. "When I blow my whistle, I want everybody to gently push off from the ground, and hover slightly. 3… 2…"

Neville lifted off of the ground early, and Madame Hooch immediately blew her whistle. "Mr. Longbottom get back down here!"

But Neville didn't get back down. In fact, he rose higher.

"Neville, what are you doing!" Hermione hissed. But it was obvious to Harry what was happening. Neville had lost control of his broom.

Their classmates yelled, as Neville rose higher, and he began screaming himself.

"What's going on?" Eli asked.

"Neville's lost control of his broom." Harry said.

"Where are those two?" Lydia muttered, looking around for her poltergeist protectors.

Suddenly, Neville fell off of his broom. They screamed as they watched him catch his robes on a statue of a warrior wizard.

And suddenly Harry felt a woosh of air beside him.

Eli had taken off.

Harry watched as Eli swooped in on his broom. Neville's robes tore, and he fell of the statue, and caught himself on a torch hanging lower down. Eli didn't miss a beat, and swerved his broom down to a completely vertical angle, rushing down on Neville. He slipped out of his robes and screamed as he fell for the ground, but Eli made a grab for him and caught him!

Eli swerved upwards, straining as he tried to keep Neville in his one handed grip. He managed to get the broom straight just as they skimmed the ground. Nevilles feet moved like panicked pistons as he ran along the ground, and when Eli let go he managed to stay upright for a bit, before he tripped when he tried to slow down.

Harry and the others ran for Eli. "That was wicked!" Ron cheered. "Are you sure you're blind mate?"

"He's definitely faking." Harry said. "Take of the glasses Eli, you're not fooling anyone."

He blushed. "It was obvious where he was. He was screaming pretty loud."

Madame Hooch helped Neville up. "You're alright." She said, looking him over. "Just a bit of a sprained ankle." She looked around. "I'm taking him to the Infirmary. You boy, come with me." She gestured at Eli. "The rest of you, keep your feet firmly on the ground, or when I get back you'll be out of Hogwarts before you can say Quidditch."

She stormed off, Eli following behind her dejectedly.

As soon as she was out of sight, Draco laughed. "Oh look!" He said, holding up a glass ball. "The fat pig dropped something!"

"Give it here Malfoy." Harry said. He wasn't going to let Draco just take Neville's things.

Draco glared at him, and pierced his lips. "No." He said, with a sudden smirk. "I think I'll leave it somewhere for Longbottom to find." He mounted his broom stylishly, stepping onto it more than anything else, before flying a circle around the Gryffindors. "How about on the roof?"

He hovered above the courtyard, nonchalantly tossing the rememberall to himself. "What's the matter Potter? Bit beyond your reach?"

Harry gripped his own broom. Eli did it, he wasn't going to back down to Draco now.

"Harry, no! Way!" Hermione glared at him and Harry thought he'd have a heart attack.

"Of course he wasn't going to follow Malfoy." Lydia said, coming to Harry's rescue. Not when my friends are back."

"Ahem." Draco turned, and saw the two towering poltergeists. "Are you going to let us return Mr. Longbottom's rememberall?" Adam Maitland asked, holding out his hand.

Surprisingly, Draco didn't back down. "What are you going to do about it?" He sneered. "Ghosts can't hurt students in Hogwarts."

The Poltergiests exchanged glances. Then they turned to Draco and screamed at him, their mouths transforming into tunnels that could fit a train in them, their teeth becoming sharp and crooked, their tongues becoming long purple worms. Specks of ectoplasm flew out of their mouths, spraying Draco as he struggled to maintain his balance on the broom in the midst of the hurricane pouring out of their mouths.

"Take it!" He screamed, and flew back down. "Your friends won't be around forever Potter."

Harry remembered what his grandpa had wrote to him about Lydia being dangerous. He decided never to make her angry. Ever.

As Madame Hooch returned, Harry felt something slip into his pocket. There was nobody behind him.

* * *

Later he would fumble through his pocket and pull out a note. It read:

**Dear Mr. Potter.**

**It would be mutually beneficial for you to meet me in the portrait two doors down from where the Exploding Snaps club meets. Please be there promptly at 7:30 when the Exploding Snaps club ends.**

**I assure you I mean you no harm. I have news pertaining to Snape that will benefit you. If you feel you cannot trust me, then you may bring friends, but if you cannot trust me, I cannot fully trust you either.**

**Sincerely,**

**Ms. Green**

A secret meeting? Who would want a secret meeting with him? What would the secret meeting be about? And who was Ms. Green?

_Green is a Slytherin color._

_'Your friends won't be around forever Potter.'_

Wow. If this was a plot by Draco, Harry was genuinely impressed. He was smarter then he'd thought. But no… Draco wouldn't pretend to be a girl just to get Harry alone… would he?

* * *

When Harry, Dean, Seamus, and a second year bloke called Cormac McLaggin went to the Exploding Snaps club that afternoon, Harry asked Ron to come with him. He'd feel better if he had somebody watching his back when he went to meet 'Ms. Green'. He would have asked Lydia for one of her ghosts, but Nearly Headless Nick said that ghosts were banned from Exploding snaps club, on account of cheating with ghosts.

Harry had never played Exploding Snaps before. Ron was more into wizard's chess, where he trounced Harry repeatedly.

Of course, at least when he played wizard's chess with Harry, he played with a normal board. When Padma said she wanted to play on one of her visits to Parvarti, and revealed that she'd never played any sort of chess before, Ron brought out his special set.

"What is that?" Padma asked, as she ogled the chess set that replaced every pawn with a queen.

"Well, you can't play somebody who hasn't had as much practice as you." Ron said. "Otherwise you dumb yourself down and get worse. So when I play somebody for the first time, I like to give them an advantage."

Fifteen teary eyed minutes for Padma later, Ron had her in Checkmate. "But I'm in Ravenclaw." She whimpered.

"Well… if it's any consolation, you didn't make the same mistake twice." Ron muttered. "I don't think I'll play against you with the special set after this." That cheered her up considerably.

"It's not about how clever you are." Pavarti tried to assure her. "Nobody's perfect at a game on their first go."

Harry knew that. He just hoped he wouldn't be terrible at Exploding Snaps. It couldn't be more difficult then Poker could it? At the very least paying poker would give him a solid grounding right? But then, wizards wouldn't necessarily follow the same rules as muggle card games, would they?

They met in a wide class room with several tables, and kids of all ages gathered around them. "I told you there would be girls here." Cormac said, in what he clearly thought was a macho tone of voice but was ruined by his twelve year old vocal chords.

As soon as he left (Harry thanks his stars) they were approached by a Huffpleuff girl with long auburn hair, eyes as green as Harry's and a smile that could give the sun a run for its money. "Hi! You must be Harry! I've been looking forward to meeting you!"

Harry was flattered, wondering why she was looking forward to meeting him. He jumped, as Raven appeared right behind him. "This is my friend Cory. She's the club's hufflepuff representative."

"How do you do that?" Harry gasped.

"How was your first month?" Raven asked, ignoring his question.

"It's okay." Harry shrugged. "I've made friends, I've made enemies. I love charms, I hate potions. My friend Lydia knows every ghost in the castle personally, my friend Eli made Gryffindor Seeker as a first year, and my friend Ron can beat Irene at chess. You?"

She shrugged. "People are still stupid. Cory is still stupid but tolerable. Love Defense, hate History. Been avoiding Cormac as much as possible. What's he doing here?"

"He heard there was a pretty girl here, apperantly."

Cormac suddenly caught sight of the pair of them, and came over. "You'd better…" Harry turned to Raven, and found out she was gone. "Leave."

_I have got to find out how she does that._

Cormac looked annoyed, and tried to start up a conversation with Harry, but was interrupted by a Slytherin. "Hullo all. Welcome to the exploding Snaps club. For you first timers, I'm Alastor Bones, the Slytherin representative. But you can call me Al. First timers, over here please."

Harry and the Gryffindors move over the front of the classroom. There were no Hufflepuffs, and only one Ravenclaw. There were four Slytherins, Draco, Nott, and two girls but Harry couldn't recall their names. Was one of them Greengrass?

"Does anybody here not know how to play Exploding Snap?"

Harry raised his hand, as did Dean, and the Ravenclaw boy.

"Well, does anybody feel like having a first go?"

Harry stepped forward eagerly. It would probably be embarrassing when he lost his first try, but it was the fastest way to learn. The Ravenclaw boy stepped forward too.

"Very good." He smiled. "Now, do I have a volunteer to show them the ropes?"

"I'll show 'em how it's done." Cormac stepped up with a goofy grin on his face.

"I'd be happy to help too." Draco said, smirking at Harry.

"Excellent." Al said. "Come here, sit down at this table. I hope you all pay attention you lot."

Harry sat down next to Al. Cormac took the seat next to him, and Draco the seat opposite.

"Alright you lot, here's the game." Al began shuffling a rather large deck of cards. "At the beginning of the game, you take two cards out of your deck. Those two will be your Snapper, and your Fuse." He dealt the card into five decks, one for each of them. "Put the top two cards on your deck in front of you, with their faces down."

Once they'd done that, he nodded. "Alright. Now, the Snapper is the card you want to keep face down. Well, you want to keep your Fuse down too, but you have to show it." He chuckled. "You play the game like this."

He put a card down in the middle of the table. It was a 17 with the symbol of an ankh. "You put cards down, to make the number on the cards increase or decrease. If the number reaches your Snapper, then you win. If the number hits your Fuse, you're blown. That means you're out of the game."

Harry looked at his cards. He had a 24 and a 7. He decided to go with the 7 for his Fuse. The four of them flipped their Fuse cards up. Cormac's was a 4, Draco's was an 18, and the Ravenclaw's was a 29.

"Now, you can only put down a card with the same house as the one here." Al said, pointing to the Ankh. "Unless you have an equal number. For example, I could put down the 5 of Fate right now, but not the 2 of Wands. However, I could put down the 17 of Stars. Sometimes, that'll change the whole game."

Harry's Fuse card was the 7 of swords, so he felt pretty safe. But a second look at his Snapper revealed that the 24 was of the Fate variety, sporting the same Ankh as the 17 on the table.

"You draw five cards. If you, or somebody else, hits your Snapper, then you've won. If you're the only person who hasn't been Blown, then you've won. There are cards without numbers on it; the Fate card will randomly change the number in the middle. The Sword card will randomly change the cards in the hand of the one closest to winning. The Ace of Cauldrons will take back the last card you played. And the Ace of Wands will randomly change the house designation on your card."

Harry thought he could wrap his head around the game. He wondered how they would 'randomly' change the card's number. He quickly drew five cards. The Ace of Swords, the 7 of Wands, the 2 of Cauldrons, the 13 of Cauldrons, and the 20 of Fate.

"Alright. Goldstien, right? You have the highest Fuse, so you're up first, and you get to choose who goes next."

Goldstien looked at his cards. Harry noted that he held them up to his face like a fan. If anybody in the audience was watching, they could send secret signals to the other players. Even if they didn't send secret signals, anybody could read the faces behind him. Harry could feel the anxiety coming from behind him.

Anthony put down the 4 of Fate. As he set the card on top of the 17, the 4 shimmered, and the ink ran along the card and formed a 21.

_Of course. This is a magic card game._

"Draco can go next." He said.

Draco grinned. "Up." He said, as he put down the 22 of Fate. Harry's eyes widened as he realized that the number in the center could exceed the numbers on the card.

"Er… how do you make the numbers go down?" Harry asked.

"Just say down." Al said. "Draco demonstrated good form by declaring Up even though it was going that way anyway. If the last card played went up, the card you play will go up to, unless you declare otherwise. And Vice Versa for going back up. If you play a card to switch the house, then it doesn't go in either direction."

Harry nodded. He examined his cards, all of them face down, he only lifted the corners up for a peek. "Down." He declared, putting down the 20 of Fate. The card transformed to reveal to score at 23 of Fate. All he needed was a one and he'd win.

Strategically, it made sense for Draco to take the game into high numbers. Harry had no idea what the other player's Snappers might be. He might have hit it accidentally by bringing it back under twenty nine. But then again, there was only a one in 112 chance that he'd accidentally hit one of their Snappers. Even less then that when you accounted for the houses.

He drew the 10 of Fate, keeping his face still as a mask.

Cormac grinned and put down the Ace of Wands. It was a risky move, Harry thought, as the ink ran on the card. It could turn into a house that he didn't have any cards in.

It settled on the 23 of Wands, and Goldstien grimaced. It was an obvious tell. "Er… what if I don't have any cards in that house?" He asked.

Al came over and looked at his cards. "You can play an Ace no matter what house the center number is." He said helpfully. "But if you ever really can't go, you'll have lost, and you'll know it."

Harry gritted his teeth. He really didn't like learning a new card game by learning the rules as he went along.

Anthony put down the Ace of Cauldrons, and the deck spat his last card out at him. He picked up the 4 of Fate, and the center number shrank down to 19.

Draco looked smug. "What say we make this interesting Potter?"He drawled. He placed a single shining Galleon on the table.

Al instantly snatched it up and put it back in Malfoy's hand. "No gambling allowed in the club unless you're a seventh year." He said sternly.

Malfoy looked like he wanted to object, but then thought better of it. "Very well." He said. "I'll just settle for beating you the old fashioned way." He smirked at Harry when he said it, and he put down the 10 of Wands. "Up." He said.

The ink melded into a perfect copy of Anthony Goldstien's fuse.

Now, Harry thought he'd realized that, this being a game called exploding Snap, and this being a magical game, the cards might explode. He just thought it would be a cutesy explosion, like the card flying up in the air, showering down in front of the loser's crying face.

What he didn't expect was a full blown Hollywood style explosion. The type action heroes walked slowly away from as it exploded behind them, the type that only comes when a trainload of TNT comes crashing into a barrier on the tracks.

Anthony Goldstien flew out of his chair.

Thankfully, when he landed, bouncing, he got up looking unharmed. "And that." Al said. "Is why you don't play exploding snaps unless you know the cushioning charm, or are sitting in a Snaps approved chair. Sooner or later, no matter how good you are, if you play the game long enough you will get blown. You have been warned."

Harry's heart rate sped up several beats. He was not expecting that.

"It's your move, Potter." Draco said.

"Up." Harry said meekly, putting down the 7 of Wands.

The next few rounds were full of tension. Cormac, who Harry now suspected of being what Slytherins thought of when they thought of Gryffindors, put down the 3 of Wands, and acted like he'd just triumphed. Draco brought it back down to thirteen, and Harry moved it into the Cauldron house.

Cormac smugly changed it to Fate, and then Draco brought it back down to 14. Now was Harry's chance. Harry had the 10 of Fate, if he put it down he'd win.

It was Cormac's misfortune then, that he leaned in just then. "Hey Harry, I've got a plan. Show me your cards."

Harry stared at him. "Why on earth would I do that?"

"Because together, we can win, see?" Cormac showed Harry his cards.

Harry looked away immediately. "Don't show me your cards!" He hissed. "What is wrong with you?"

"If we work together, we can bring this Slytherin down." Cormac said with a sly grin. A grin completely oblivious to what Harry had just said. "No need to think me. Although, I saw you talking to Raven earlier. Maybe you could introduce me after the victory…"

And that decided it. Harry put down the 10 of Fate. But instead of saying up, he looked Cormac straight in the eyes, and said "Down."

Cormac's eyes widened like a cartoons as the card on the table became the 4 of Fate.

_*Kaboom!*_

"Great distance." Al commented as he watched Cormac go flying.

Even Malfoy smirked, but then he became deadly serious again, and change the house to Swords. Harry gulped and looked at his own hand. He had only two sword cards, the Ace and the 6. He put down the 6. "Up." He said.

The next card he picked up was a Cauldron.

The next round, he could put down his Ace, but then he'd have no more cards. And if he didn't draw a sword, and if Malfoy didn't change it, then he'd lose.

He promised himself he wouldn't feel ashamed if he lost on his first card game. When he made that promise, he didn't know he'd be playing against Malfoy.

Malfoy played the 14 of Swords. Then Harry realized something. He was almost relieved enough to laugh, but he didn't. He just put down the Ace of Swords.

"What the…" Draco looked at his cards, expecting them to change, but they didn't.

Because the Center card was the 24 of Swords's. Harry's Snapper was the closest, so the sword card changed his hand.

Was Harry imagining it, or was Draco sweating?

Draco put down the 9 of Swords. "Down." He said.

Harry put down the 13 of Fate, and changed the house.

Draco beamed, and he put down his next card.

The 9 of Fate.

"Up." Draco said.

And Harry flipped over his Snapper, to show Draco what a big mistake he just made, and yelled the victory call of poker players everywhere.

"Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner!"

His triumphant call was drowned out, as Draco was blown out of his chair.

* * *

Harry and Ron left the Exploding Snaps club exhausted. He had won every game he played, and most of them were against Draco. Al said that at the rate the two of them were going, they could probably play against the second years next meeting. Draco made a face, which afterwards Ron described as the 'what am I smelling' face.

And now he and Ron were going to a secret meeting, with the mysterious Ms. Green. Harry had been watching, but the Slytherins had all left in a bunch. So it couldn't have been any of them. Which left Anthony Goldstien, assuming that the mysterious Ms. Green was a member of the Exploding Snaps club.

The portrait the note indicated was as large as a doorway. It was an oil painting of a dark room, the full moon shining through the grimy windows. A barn owl stood perched on a chalice flowing with some suspiciously blood-like fluid.

"Er, how do we get in mate?" Ron asked, sounding like he really didn't want to get in at all.

"You simply step through."

The pair of them jumped, as they realized a pair of eyes were watching them from inside the darkness.

Harry put a foot forward, and hesitantly moved into the portrait. His foot passed through the frame, and he followed it, landing on the warped wood floor of the inn's portrait. Ron followed him. It was strange being inside a portrait. The moonlight suddenly became very real, and though the sun was just setting outside, the sunlight in the hallways didn't shine any light into the room, as if the window into reality were only a painting of sunlight.

"Of course, that's not all there is to it." The mysterious voice said. "My brother told me about this room when he discovered it. He said that it's where Salazar kept his liquor. You have to feel fear in order to into the portrait, and so he thought to exclude any Gryffindors. Or at least the foolhardy ones, absent of all Slytherin qualities."

"Ms. Green?" Harry asked.

The figure stood up, and stepped into the moonlight. She was a Slytherin girl, wearing a serpentine mask that wouldn't be out of place in a masquerade ball. "Apparently."

She leaned across the table, and stroked the owl. It hooted once. "Nobody outside of the portrait will hear us now." She said. She took a bottle from the shelf behind her. "Pumpkin juice? I'd hate to encourage drinking in minors, but there's nothing else."

"Thanks." Harry said. "But we'd rather not."

She shrugged, and replaced the bottle. "Suit yourself. Have a seat."

"Why are you wearing a mask?" Ron asked.

"Because I don't trust you." The girl replied. "I've been watching Harry since he came to Hogwarts, and I think he's Slytherin enough to trust. But I haven't trusted you." She turned her gaze on Harry. "I told you to come alone. I would have unmasked if you were."

"Well good." Ron said. "We're Gryffindors. Through and through. We don't even care about your name."

She shrugged. "And I don't care whether you don't care or not. I have a proposition for you."

"We're listening." Harry said.

"Not very well." Ron added. "We're listening like we listen to stuff in the background. So you better be worth it."

"How droll." She sniffed. "Now, Mr. Potter. You have become enemies with Draco Malfoy. I don't know how that happened, but ever since he's come to Hogwarts, he's been acting like a changed man."

"Aha!" Ron said. "So you're with Draco! You must be Pansy. You're the only girl he hangs out with."

"I don't like gangs." Ms. Green said. "Gangs are too confining for me. I am Draco's childhood friend, and probably the only person he considers an equal… aside from you Mr. Potter. But I am not part of his little gang. I don't know what happened between you, but ever since then he's been acting less like a spoiled brat. I mean, he's still an arrogant privileged bully, but at least he's not relying on his father's name anymore. He's carving his own name for himself, making people fear him instead of threatening them with his father. Whatever you did… thank you."

Harry shrugged. "I only petended that I mistook him for a girl. In front of his dad."

Ms. Green appeared stunned. "Did you really? Well, that would do it. He's never been so badly insulted before, and nobody's ever tried anything in front of his father."

"So what, you want us to thank you for improving your boyfriend?" Ron asked.

"No." She snapped back. "I'm here to tell you how Snape figured out what you were doing. Unless you'd rather leave?"

Ron snapped shut.

"Why would you tell us something like that?" Harry asked.

"I was watching you during your impressive game." Ms. Green said. "I saw that you could have won. But instead, you blew Cormac McLaggin. As far as I could tell, the only reason you did that was because he made a crude comment about Raven. Your whole scheme to make Slytherin lose the house cup? When he was picking on you, you didn't say a word. But when Snape got on Lydia's case, your poker face slipped, and anyone could see you were two cruel words away from hitting him."

"What d'you mean by poker face?" Ron asked.

Now Harry was really interested. Ms. Green had confirmed that she was a first year Slytherin with that comment. But not only that, she was a Slytherin who knew about muggle stuff like poker.

"You react to somebody going after your friends, the same way Draco reacts to comments about his gender." Ms. Green said. "In exchange for my services, I want to be your friend."

"What?" Harry asked. That came completely out of left field.

"Well maybe not your friend. You obviously don't trust me enough. But your ally. I have an ally in every house except Gryffindor." She leaned over the table and extended her hand. "I think you'll find an ally in Slytherin house very profitable."

"That's it?" Harry asked. "You just want to be my… ally?"

"Don't let Draco color your perception of Slytherin. There are many different ways to be ambitious, and some of them include concepts like friendship, and courage. If I'm not mistaken, the Sorting Hat offered you a place with Slytherin too."

Harry had heard speeches before that could turn a crowd, but they were always on the telly. Ms. Green had just hit every single right note. He could say no of course. But he wasn't about to cut of his hand to spite his face.

He took her hand. "Alright. Allies."

She nodded. "Good. Now, to Snape. He found out what you were doing using Legimancy."

Harry looked to Ron, but he was just as confused as he felt. "What's Legimency?"

"He read the information straight out of your mind."

Ron shot up. "That greasy git's been nosing around in our minds?"

Ms. Green nodded.

"Is there any way around it?" Harry asked.

"There's Occlumency, but it's really hard to learn. I started training months ago, and I still can't do more than struggle like a fish on a hook when a true legimence wants in on my mind. Your only condolence is that Legimency works like a truth serum. He has to ask a question if he wants an answer. You can't stop him looking in your mind, but you can throw him off. Like, say, if he wants to know whether you've done anything hostile against Slytherins. He'll look for that, but he'll never find anything about me in your mind because he's not looking for you being f… allied with a Slytherin. Your best refuge, is to do things so implausible that he won't think to see whether you did them or not. If you plan on doing anything troublesome." She added with a shrug.

"I see." Harry muttered. "Well, that's good to know. That you." It was frightening, but it was good to know that if he was smart enough he could avoid Snape fingering around in his mind. Now all he had to do was be smart enough.

"Don't thank me yet." She said. "One of my sources in Ravenclaw's revealed that Snape's going to have proof of it before the night is up."

"What?" Harry and Ron yelled in unison.

"One of your Gryffindors has betrayed you. I don't know who, but he was planning on using your absence from Gryffindor Tower this afternoon to find the mathematics you used to predict the best methods of getting Slytherin in trouble."

"No Gryffindor would betray a Gryffindor." Ron said firmly.

"Before tonight, I bet you thought no Slytherin would be friendly towards Gryffindors either, did you?"

Ron paled. "We're doomed."

"We'd best get going." Harry said. "Maybe we can do something… try to figure out a way to counter this."

"Counter this?" Ron asked. "Snape can read our minds!"

"Yes, but he needs evidence to convince others who can't read minds." Harry said. "If we can get rid of the evidence, then it doesn't matter what Snape knows." He stood up. "Thank you for telling us. Is there anything else?"

Ms. Green shook her head. "I know how to get in touch with you. If you want to get in touch with me, just slip a 24 of Fate underneath the goblet in this picture." She tapped the rim of the goblet with the bloody looking stuff in it.

"We will." Harry said. "Thank you."

They stepped out of the portrait and rushed down the hall. "Who do you think would betray their own house?" Ron asked.

"I don't know." Harry said.

"What sort of Gryffindor would go against a plan to win the house cup?"

"I don't know."

"You don't think it's Percy, do you? The prat! I'll kill him!"

"I don't know!"

"Maybe we could say that whoever stole from us made up the evidence to frame us?"

"I would never do something like that!"

They froze. Harry groaned inwardly, as he recognized the voice. They were just one corridor away from Gryffindor's common room. It was a corridor two far.

They turned around to the sneering image of Severus Snape, a predatory smile on his face, perched like a big black bird of prey ready to pounce.

Behind him, was an indignant looking Hermione Granger, holding in her hand the incriminating time-tables.

"Potter." Snape sneered. "I think you and I should pay a visit to the Headmaster."

* * *

_A/N: And you too can play Exploding Snaps! All you need is a deck of cards that go up to twenty nine in each house (or some pieces of paper and some artistic talent), a four sided dice to randomly decide the house when you play the Ace of Wands, and a twenty sided and ten sided dice (rolled at the same time, and then subtract one from the total) to roll to decide the random number chosen by the Ace of Fate. Disclaimer: If you play muggle Exploding Snap, the cards will not explode, or change the numbers on their faces. Warning: If you do make Exploding Snap card that explode, do not play with them, contact the proper authorities and get help._

_Today we introduce Cory, an OC based on Starfire, who is simply a good friend for Raven. We also introduce Al Bones, Susan Bone's older brother, and Green Lantern. For Green Lantern, I'm using the origin story from the Green Lantern movie, but replacing pilot Hal Jordan with marine officer Jon Stewart. _

_Also introducing, the mysterious Ms. Green. Who could she be? Ooooooh._

_Anybody intrested in wether Dean's dad is a Death Eater, evil, a productive member of society, or Other, please take the poll on my profile (and if Other, please say who you want his dad to be in a review). _

_I like the inversion of the usual 'Ron is a fool and he shouldn't be Harry's friend' and 'Hermione is perfect' scenario. I hope you like my take on a Hermione who, while not evil, certainly isn't an antagonist. Also, what do you think of Eli as a seeker? And the first blind Quidditch player ever? Too outlandish? I think it's cool. I had originally planned for Exploding Snaps cards to go all the way to 100, and for there to be integers (1/2, 3/4, etc.) but in the end I decided it would be horrible to shuffle that many cards. For those of you who think Harry's hand was tailor made for him to win, the game in this story is a blow by blow of an actual game of muggle exploding snap I played with my family. I took the role of Draco, because my talented younger sister managed to be too awesome for her not to be Harry. _

_I hope you enjoy the chapter. __Read and Review!_


	8. Meeting Dumbledore

**Book One**

**Meeting Dumbledore**

The long walk all the way up to the Headmaster's office was even worse than Harry had anticipated. Not that he'd anticipated this at all. He'd never been caught before. There was always a way out, and he always found it.

Ron kept shooting death glares at Hermione the entire way. He could guess what was going through his head. One of the first things he told Harry about Slytherin was that there wasn't a witch or wizard who went bad that wasn't in Slytherin. Harry didn't believe it, but Ron probably did, and he probably felt very betrayed.

In one night, a Slytherin had given them a warning, while a Gryffindor had betrayed them to Snape.

Harry felt betrayed too. Even though he didn't invite her in on his plans. No, it was Snape that read his mind, and then told Hermione so she could spy on him. Didn't she remember their first potions class? Snape had mocked her too. It was for her and Lydia and all of Gryffindor that he was striking back at Snape…

Except that Snape had told her when he was defending her from bullies, and while Harry was being indecisive.

Now Harry felt like he'd betrayed himself.

The four of them stopped in front of a stone gargoyle. Snape muttered something.

"I'm afraid you'll have to speak up Severus." The Gargoyle said. "I'm an old bit of granite, and Filch forgot to polish my ears this week."

"You know perfectly well that Filch would never do such a thing." Snape hissed. "You know who I am, now open up."

"How can I be sure you're Snape?" The Gargoyle asked.

Snape sighed, and muttered something again.

"Louder."

"Jellie Babies." Snape said loudly.

The gargoyle's smile widened, and the section of wall it was standing in front of peeled away to reveal a winding staircase.

The walked up the staircase, and stopped in front of a thick oak door with a golden Ankh on it. Snape knocked, and the door opened. Dumbledore's office was lined with cabinets. Some had old looking books in them, others were filled with exotic silver instruments. On one shelf, the Sorting Hat rested next to a strange looking helmet. Behind his desk, a large flame red bird sat behind Dumbledore.

This was the first time Harry had seen Dumbledore outside of the great hall. From far off, he looked like a rather majestic wizard, with long robes, a pointy hat, and a long white beard. From close up, his robes were an off-putting pattern of stripes and spots in garish blue, purple, and orange. His pointy hat looked a lot more like a night cap than an actual wizard hat. And there were bits and pieces of… things stuck in Dumbledore's beard.

To Harry's relief, grandpa Mad-eye was there too, wearing some very official looking black robes. His relief turned to dread as his eye swiveled towards him, and Harry thought to ask himself why he was here.

_Does Dumbledore already know?_

"Headmaster." Snape strode in. "I have evidence here, that…"

He stopped as Hermione and Ron tripped and fell to the floor.

"You tripped me!" Ron yelled, as he tried and failed to get up.

"I did not." Hermione said sternly. She tugged at her legs experimentally. "It would appear that some form of magic is preventing our shoes from coming into the office."

"Oh dear." Dumbledore raised his wand, and the tips of their shoelaces exploded rather spectacularly, and they were able to get up. "It appears you were caught in my anti-shoelace tip wards."

"Why do you have wards up against Aglets?" Hermione asked.

"Don't say their names." The Headmaster said gravely. "Their true purpose… is sinister."

One of the many mechanical devices produced an ominous bolt of lightning at this statement.

"Moving on to lighter subjects." Dumbledore turned back to Snape with a twinkle in his eye. "My dear Professor Snape. May I assume that Ms. Granger has finally come up with evidence of Mr. Potter's scheming?"

"Correct as usual." Snape drawled. "Will you be sending Alastor away?"

"I think I might want to stay for this." Mad-eye's eye roamed across the group.

"Surely you trust Dumbledore's deductive abilities Alastor? Even if I could, I will not coerce him into believing falsehoods concerning my Slytherins."

"I trust you as far as I could spit you severus." He grinned.

"That gives me a mile of leeway." Snape drawled. "Ms. Granger, would you please present the evidence you found, before Alastor unhinges his jaw?"

Hermione eyed Mad-eye warily – Harry had to tell himself that his grandpa could handle himself – and presented the scroll to Dumbledore. Dumbledore read it with a raised eyebrow. "What's that supposed to be?" Mad-eye asked.

"It is a full and complete schedule for every house and age group." Dumbledore said. "Snape has accused Mr. Potter of using such a schedule to create 'chance encounters' with Slytherin students and provoking them to fight, just before a teacher walks by." He looked at Harry and Ron over his half-moon glasses. "Snape does not make such accusations lightly. Is this true?"

"I… yes, it's true."

"But he was only doing it 'cause Snape is a greasy #$%!" Ron blurted out.

"Language Weasly!" Hermione and Snape yelled at the same moment.

"Teacher's pet." He muttered.

"Your sentiments are appreciated Mr. Weasly, though not your language." Dumbledore said. "Perhaps you would care to enlighten me on the reason behind this behavior Mr. Potter?"

"Who cares what his reasons are?" Snape hissed.

"Surely you have an interest in determining the severity of his offence and the resulting detention?" Dumbledore asked. Snape immediately shut up, and sent a calculating look at the two of them.

Snape seemed to accept that, much to Harry's chagrin. "Well… it started in our first potion's class." Harry explained. "Snape started picking on me. Asking me questions I had no right knowing… I looked them up later, and if it weren't for grandpa Mad-eye, I wouldn't have even known what a bezoar was, much less where to find it. Each question was only one line in the book!"

"Of course." Snape scoffed. "You see Headmaster? He doesn't even pretend to have a noble cause, he's simply lashing out for his wounded pride."

"It wasn't like that!" Harry snapped. "Sure, I was angry, and I thought that after this was over something would have to be done about Snape, but I didn't cause a fuss. But then Lydia stood up for me, and Snape started on her!"

Hermione sniffed. "So as long as Snape was cruel to people who you didn't know you would've been okay with it?"

"I…"

"You traitor!" Ron burst out. "Snape was mean to you too!"

"Mr. Weasly." Dumbledore said gently. Ron stopped cold. Harry wondered if there was magic involved.

"Harry, is do you have anything else to add?" Dumbledore asked.

Harry ground his teeth. "Just… my dad taught me that friendship was the most important thing in the world. Whenever somebody tries to hurt him or bully him, he just sits there and takes it. It doesn't matter to him. As far as he's concerned, they can try and bully him. But if somebody tries to hurt him by bullying his friends, then he gets back at them hard. I just… think he's right. Snape saw that I wasn't going to let him get to me, so he went for Lydia instead."

The room went silent. "Well, if you were trying to send a message, message received." Snap said. "You are a fool."

Harry glared at him.

"May I ask for your point of view Severus?" Dumbledore asked.

"I would give it whether you like it or not Headmaster." Snape said. "Originally, my aim was to test the Potter boy with obscure questions."

"You admit it!" Mad-eye growled.

"Yes. I do. Potter's father was always a trouble-maker, a lazy, arrogant, no account… well, others think highly of him I suppose. The point is, I wanted to see if he had any trouble making tendencies, and he did! His second question, where would he find a Bezoar? He answered 'in a store', clearly ignoring the intent of the question."

"All of the questions I asked were, at some point, answered in the book, even if for a single sentence. If he had answered all correctly, I would have been even more suspicious. If he'd revealed he didn't know any of the answers, reacted normally, I would have paid him no mind. But he knew the answer to one question, and didn't say anything, just stared at me angrily."

"But it wasn't because I was suspicious of him being a trouble maker that I took house points from Ms. Deetz. She started with angrily yelling at me, and escalated from there. She was a most unruly student, and some of the wizard-born Gryffindors were agreeing with her. I had to instill order. I was in no way attacking her to get to Harry, I was instilling my students with respect for their teachers."

Harry was blushing now. He wouldn't have regretted anything, not if it was to protect a friend. But if that cause was wiped away…

Snape wasn't finished yet.

"And I find it hypocritical." Snape said. "That you were insulted by my supposed slight to your friend, that you consider striking at people through their acquaintances the worst type of sin… and yet that is exactly what you have done, striking at me through Slytherin."

And now Harry was horrified. Snape was right. He had just… he had just done the very thing he'd deemed unforgivable for so many years. He'd done exactly what he thought only the worst of humanity did.

"Dumbledore, are you using legimancy on Harry?" Mad-eye growled.

Harry's eyes shot up, and met Dumbledore's sparkling blue eyes. "Just a trace Alastor, just a trace." He reassured Mad-eye. "Now, I think we have all the facts. Snape, how much points do you estimate Mr. Potter has cost Slytherin?"

"Two hundred and seventy eight." Snape sniffed.

"Very well." Dumbledore said. "Since I believe your students shouldn't get away so easily – they were quite easily provoked into violence after all – only one hundred and thirty nine points shall be awarded to Slytherin, and a further one hundred and thirty nine points be taken away from Gryffindor."

Snape seemed to be angry but resigned. "That covers house points. What of individual points?"

"Hmmm… twenty points for each of the masterminds."

"Too lenient." Snape said. "Only sixty points for masterminding this?"

"It seems fair Severus."

"Sixty?" Ron yelled.

"I do not believe that Ms. Deetz was involved in masterminding this plot." Dumbledore told Snape. Snape looked confused, but didn't argue.

"Headmaster look at the bottom corner there." Mad-eye said, pointing at the parchment.

"Yes Alastor, I caught it. It is no surprise to me that the Weasley twins had a hand in this." Dumbledore nodded. "Therefore, eighty points will be taken from Gryffindor. And, a further twenty points gained for Ms. Granger's impressive courage."

Snape rounded on Hermione, but seemed to falter at her beaming face. "Very well." The potion's master nodded. "Sixty points."

"But that's more than two hundred –"

"You have cost Slytherin as much." Dumbledore gently reminded him. "I will also be writing to both of your parents." Ron paled. "Now, Alastor, if you could escort your great-grandson and his partner in crime to their dormitories, Severus and I will discuss further punishments, and I think they should be rested for tomorrow."

Mad-eye set his eyes on the two, and Harry wished he could disappear on the spot.

"Come on." He limped his way out the door, and the three of them followed.

"Ms. Granger." Professor Snape said. "I believe it would be safer for you if we floo'd you directly to your common room."

"I'm sorry professor, but what's floo?" Hermione asked.

Snape rolled his eyes. "All the more reason to show you if you don't know." He fixed his steely gaze on the trio. "Well?"

Mad-eye gestured, and Ron and Harry walked along with him.

* * *

They walked along in silence for some time. "I'm sorry for dragging you into this Ron." Harry said.

"Nah mate, you didn't drag me into anything." Ron smiled good naturedly. Harry could see the exhaustion in his eyes, but he smiled back anyway.

"And Grandpa, I'm sorry for disappointing you."

"What are you talking about?" Mad-eye asked.

"I hurt other people to get to Snape."

"But you got to him." Mad-eye grinned. "You could see it in his eyes; he was shaken. He's always deserved it."

"But what about the other people?" Harry asked. "They didn't deserve it."

Mad-eye smiled. "You know, you did lose some of my respect back there. But hearing you say that, you've just earned it back again." He may as well have been speaking another language. Harry couldn't understand how somebody could do what he did and be forgiven. "And if I were your dad, I might say something about losing my trust in you, but I never had that to begin with."

Harry's mind was blown.

"Listen, Harry." Mad-eye stopped them. "How old are you?"

"I'm eleven."

"You're eleven years old. And you made a mistake. Wandering the streets of London without support few a few days would put a few years on any kid, and you've always had your grown-up moments. But just because you like to act like a grown-up doesn't mean you are one."

"You made a mistake, and Dumbledore is going to fix it. It'll be embarrassing for a while, but humiliation is just a test of maturity. You can deal with it I'm sure, even if it takes a few months to die down. Never underestimate Hogwarts; crazy things happen here every day of the week. It's what makes it such a great school. A story like this won't even last onto next year's rumor mill."

"The more power you have, your mistakes will be correspondingly huger. But for now, you're just an eleven year old kid. And even if you're the boy who lived, you have your whole life ahead of you. Okay?"

Harry nodded. He felt a lot calmer now. "Thanks grandpa." He nervously opened his arms.

Grandpa touched his wands at several points around his clothes to stop them from attacking anybody who touched him, and he hugged Harry.

Ron looked at the pair of them. "Well, now I know why you're a nutter Harry." Ron said approvingly. "You never said your grandpa was Mad-eye Moody!"

"Adoptive great-grandfather." Mad-eye corrected. "So, Mr. Weasley. I hear you're friends with Harry?"

Ron nodded.

"Good. You know, I trained your dad during the war." He leaned in close. "And I know that if you use your position to hurt Harry, he won't be able to stop me from getting back at you even if he tried."

Ron paled.

"Grandpa." Harry said sternly. "Don't scare Ron."

"Scare a Weasley? You must be joking." Mad-eye grinned.

Ron seemed to be encouraged by that remark. "Hey Harry, do you think your grandpa can teach us occlumency?"

"Why would – ah, you found out about Snape did you?"

They nodded.

"Well, you can get your own dad to teach you occlumency." Mad-eye told Ron. "And I'll be sure to start teaching Harry whenever he comes home. But it seems to me that you'd need something now, and occlumency usually takes years."

"Do you have something in mind?" Harry asked.

Mad-eye nodded. "I might be able to cobble something together that doesn't use occlumency. Innovation, Harry, that's the key. The third rule of magic is; all magic has a counter."

"All magic?" Harry asked.

"Yep. In fact, the Japanese Aurors, the Golden Oni, have developed a unique form of martial art that revolves around casting only counter-spells."

"But dad said that there's no such thing as a counter-spell for Unforgivable curses." Ron said.

"What are unforgivable curses?" Harry asked.

Mad-eye muttered something about them being too young to know, but he smiled and told them anyway. "They're three curses that'll earn you a one way ticket to Azkaban prison." Mad-eye said. "There's the Imperius curse, where a wizard takes control of another wizard's body. That one's easy to throw off though, you don't even need occlumency training."

"Then there's the Curicatus curse. It's a torture curse, and there's no escaping it, as it's cast from the wizard's pure hatred towards the target. However, there is a spell which will induce a temporary insanity, which will forever dull you to any Cruciatus curse." Mad-eye sighed. "The insanity is temporary, but the Golden Oni practice it under controlled conditions, so it lasts up to a week and then they're immunized. If you perform the spell while under the Curciatus, then the insanity lasts much longer, the longest case going up to twenty-one years. We would've lost fewer men in the war if only they'd immunized themselves beforehand. But the spell also makes people… odd. Some people say they notice the symptoms in me, and Dumbledore."

"Blimey." Ron said. "Do you mean to say that the Japanese Aurors are all like Dumbledore?"

"They all have different quirks." Mad-eye shrugged. "They're okay, but don't trust them. As for the last Unforgivable, the killing curse, I used to think it was the exception to the rule, since the only way to not be killed is to not be in its path. But then young Harry here somehow found the counter to it when he was a baby."

"Anyway, Occlumency is usually the only way to block Legimency, but I have a few tentative allies that have some ideas about that. Anything else you think you'll need to be safe here?"

"Hogwarts is the safest place on earth." Ron said.

"And who told you that?" Mad-eye asked.

"My dad."

"And why do you think your dad wanted you to feel calm as he sent you alone into the world."

"… Oh."

"Don't worry Ron." Harry said. "According to Grandpa, nobody and nothing is safe."

Mad-eye nodded. "And the sooner the two of you know that, the better."

"Hey Grandpa." Harry's past trouble already forgotten as he tried to lighten the mood for Ron. "I read that you used to have a pet dragon to sniff through your mail. What happened to it."

Mad-eye stiffened. "Oh, he's still around." He shrugged. "Now, come on. I have to escort you back to your dormitories. You'll want to be well rested for the Halloween celebrations tomorrow. And since I'm there, I may as well trouble Dean for a lock of his hair."

The made their way to Gryffindor tower, and Harry thought of something. "Hey Grandpa, why were you talking to Dumbledore?"

"Oh, we were just discussion Superman." Mad-eye shrugged.

"I read that he was obliviated an' released."

"Oh, yes." Mad-eye grinned. "Do you know, there's a fine line between something human, and inhuman, where you know something's wrong. You can always tell when a human is just a boggart impersonating a human, for example. You can just tell when something's wrong. Superman, he has the exact opposite of the feeling, which is strange for a non human. I don't trust him."

"Constant vigilance." Harry nodded.

"Exactly." Mad-eye said. "Still, there's a counter for everything, even Occlumency. I broke through any training he might have had. And apparently, he really does just do what he does to help people. When I explained to him that Wizard's weren't threatening muggles, he didn't even try to escape."

"It's a shame the Ministry obliviated him then." Harry sighed.

Mad-eye smiled. "Yes. The ministry wanted to make sure they obliviated him thoroughly too. So they let their top retired Auror do it."

Harry stared at his uncle.

_He didn't – he wouln't – would he?_

"How would you feel if I could arrange a meeting with your favorite celebrity?"

_Merlin… he faked Superman's oblivitation!_

"I thought you weren't going to tell me any national secrets until I made some myself." Harry said, in awe of his suddenly not-so-nuts grandpa. Ron looked at them strangely, then he realized the double meanings behind Mad-eye's words.

"Well you lot seem to be adept at hiding things, and even if Snape does think to ask your mind a question about me, I'll be sending you something to prevent Legimancy soon enough."

And that was how Harry's night turned from the worst night of his life, to one of the better ones. He was touched by this gesture – no matter how small – of trust from his adopted grandpa.

But even as he tucked himself in for the night, Dean excited and Ron muttering about getting back at Hermione, he made a promise to himself never to attack somebody through their friends again.

He went to sleep with the rotten feeling of a sinking heart, worrying about tomorrow.

* * *

Snape and Dumbledore strode through the memory of the fateful first day of potions.

"I know you know who was behind this, without even resorting to legimancy. Why did you let Ms. Deetz off the hook?"

"There were more students involved then just the five." Dumbledore explained. "If I had taken away equal points for each, then Slytherin would be unfairly in the lead, which is just as bad as being unfairly in the back. Besides, I know the Weasleys will not shirk from associating from Harry with this, but it would be nice if Harry could make it through this fiasco with some friends, wouldn't it?"

Snape simply glared at the memory of the boy, as he insolently answered 'in a shop?'

Dumbledore poked his head underneath the desks to see how much gum there was. "Lemon Drop?" He offered.

"I don't want your candy." Snape said. Even though his face was as composed a mask as ever, Dumbledore could tell he was sulking.

"If you say so." He shrugged, and popped the drop into his beard for later eating. "Although, Poppy once told me that people who have received a shock should try to talk to others about it…"

"I'm not shocked." Snape glared. "He is exactly as arrogant and cruel as his father."

He began to pace, as the memory of his snapped at Hermione to put her hand down. "You should have taken him back to his muggle relatives once you'd found him. Not raised him with some yankee ponce and a crackpot conspiracy theorist."

"I got the impression that Tess was of a rather sound mind." Dumbledore said, confused.

"You know what I mean!" Snape said. "He thinks he can get away with anything. At least with muggles, he would have been taught humility."

"Remind me to show you Minerva or Arabella's memories of the muggles one day." Dumbledore said. "I'm quite glad an alternate solution was provided. I was looking forward to the day when the Hogwarts letters were sent out, so I could plague the Dursleys with letters for a good week, before the official policy of sending a Hogwarts official to a muggle raised wizard. Who do you think would have been more intimidating, Minerva, Hagrid, or you?"

"Please try to be serious." Snape sighed. "The boy is…"

"You seem at a loss for words, Severus." Dumbledore observed somberly. "You know, the muggles have a word for that. It goes like this – Supercalafrajalis–"

"Oh do shut up." Snape drawled. He sighed again. "The boy is just like his father."

"Oh, I don't know." Dumbledore thought.

"You saw that scroll. If he was a few years older, it would have been a map."

"True. But James never quite went to such extremes, especially so early."

"No. The brat's even worse than his father."

"In fact, I'd say that ambition is almost Slytherin."

That stopped Snape in his tracks. A handful of diced roots flew through his head.

"And the way he went about it… very cunning." Dumbledore said. "I remember when Lily got the entire student body in on a plot to…"

"Stop." Severus said.

Dumbledore shrugged. "And what of Ms. Granger? A very brilliant girl, for a muggle born, and a Gryffindor."

Snape frowned, and shot out of the Pensieve. Dumbledore followed him. "I believe we were discussing punishments." Snape said. "I do not believe they should be expelled…"

"I'm pleasantly surprised."

"… However, I believe detentions until Christmas holidays with Filch would teach Potter a lesson."

"Oh, let them have tomorrow night Severus. It's Halloween."

"Do you imagine Moody is not coddling the two of them enough right now? Furthermore, I believe the Weasley twins should be banned from Quidditch, and the younger Weasley should be made to have detentions with me."

"A little harsh Severus." Dumbledore stroked his beard. "However, I will bring it up to McGonagall. If Harry is only serving detentions until Christmas holidays, then certainly the Weasleys should have their ban lifted after that period. Ronald should also be shown lenience; Harry will have it rough because Alastor is doubtless ensuring he is taken care of. However, unless Molly has changed over the years she will send her son a howler tomorrow the likes of which Hogwarts has never seen nor ever will see again."

"Very well." Snape said. "Give him detentions with whomever you see fit." He moved to leave, but stopped at the door.

"Yes old friend." Albus said. "He is very much like his father. But that is not necessarily a bad thing."

Snape left without another word.

* * *

_A/N: No new characters today, just a reference to the Question. And yes, their true pupose is... SINISTER!_

_Just so you know, I like to plan these things out ahead of time. I did not suddenly wake up one morning and realize that what Harry was doing was wrong. This is all part of the plan. Likewise, keep an eye out for further clues, such as the Golden Oni or the Aglets. Like Rowling, I'm instilling threads into the story I can follow if I want, but I know that there are some things that will definitely be followed. _

_The Longbottom story was an idea I came up with. If the Longbottoms are anything likt Neville was in book Seven (and most say that they were even more impressive) why on earth would they go insane from Cruciatus? my version of events is this; Frank realized they were going to torture them until they were dead, so he preformed the anti-cruciatus spell (any ideas for a real name for that spell anyone?) on her, so that maybe while he died, she would at least not feel any pain and maybe live. But, in true form for Longbottom luck, his wife had the same idea and they cast the spell simultaneously. Bellatrix realized she couldn't hurt them any more, so she left. It's much more romantic than the original story, right? And while there's hope for their recovery, I hope it's still a tear jerker._

_Stay tuned next week, when you get to see the first really big change for Harry's tale. Halloween. My plan going into this was to ramp up the wizarding world to an almost cosmic extreme, and this'll be the chapter where you realize that unlike other fanfic writers I don't just keep adding powers to Harry but leave Voldemort at the same level. _

_If you're interested in Dean, be sure to vote for who his father is! Please Read and Review!_


	9. A Long Halloween

**Book One**

**A Long Halloween**

The morning brought a sad light into the life of Harry Potter.

The worst part of his morning was when Professor McGonagall took the four of them into her office. "I am very disappointed in you." She said, in a voice that paled to any stern words Tess had ever given him.

"All four of you. Fred, George, I know you two are trouble-makers. But this is the most… the most Slytherin thing I have ever seen you do!"

The two, who had been joking around up until that point, suddenly stood at attention. They looked very pale. "Low blow…" One of them muttered.

"I haven't known you for as long Ronald. But ever since I taught your parents, I've known you Weasleys to be, if not paragons of Gryffindor virtues, the least Slytherin people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. When I heard of what you three did, I told Dumbledore not to write a letter. I visited your house in person to talk to your parents."

All three boys turned as white as ghosts.

"They had a good many things to you, but I am not an owl. You will hear them yourself from your mother's howler this afternoon."

Ron whimpered.

"Oh do show some backbone." She hissed. "You ought to have known this was going to happen the minute this… this ludicrous plan was hatched. And you! Harry Potter! Your mother would be ashamed of you. She was one of the bravest students I've ever had the pleasure of teaching, frequently stopping her classmates from bullying Slytherin students, in a time when Slytherin was suffering a poor reputation from He-who-must-not-be-named. What would she think if she could see you now?"

Harry hung his head. He didn't know what he thought of himself for now.

"Dumbledore informed me that this stemmed from a desire to protect your friends from Snape. As understandable as this may be, Lord knows I've often thought of giving him a piece of my mind, your methods were deplorable. I can't believe I'm saying this out loud, but you should have been more like Fred & George! At least they have the decency to not catch their classmates in the crossfire of their pranks!"

"We knew you cared." One of the twins ginned. He was quickly silenced, as McGonagall sent him a glare that dropped the temperature in the room by ten degrees.

"Five points from each of you, for un-Gryffindor behavior. Get out of my office."

"I'm sorry for getting you all mixed up in this." Harry muttered to the twins once they'd left the room.

The looked at each other and shrugged. "Well, we've always wanted to pull off a prank this big." Fred said.

"Though, being called Slytherin… that stung."

"And we're not looking forward to breakfast with mum."

"Or rather, mum's shrill voice."

"Good to know she cares though."

"Or at least, she used to."

"Fred, will you quit being such a downer?"

"Can't help it George. She made me feel down."

"Still… we just pranked the school, and we would have gotten away with it too."

"Oh yes. It was a masterpiece."

"And what's the use of a masterpiece if you don't know who's behind it?"

"You're right George. It's all about who's behind it."

By the time breakfast was over, everybody knew that he and the Weasleys were responsible for losing most of Gryffindor's House Points. The Hogwarts rumor mill was abuzz with the news garnered by Dumbledore's apology and Ms. Weasley's howler.

Gryffindor was now behind Ravenclaw in points, and Slytherin was second place just behind Hufflepuff. The Slytherins hated them for setting them up, and getting away with it relatively easy. Hufflepuffs looked at cheaters as the lowest form of scum, but most of them thought that Harry was just an innocent first year, led astray by the Weasleys. The Ravenclaws were indifferent.

The Gryffindors were of divided opinions. Most of them were mad about the loss of points. The older ones just laughed it off as the newest Weasley prank, and a small contingent just stared at Harry more than usual.

The leader of both the first and last contingent was Hermione Granger.

Ron shot daggers at her whenever he saw her. She went through the day with a smile fixed on her face. When the howler had finished screaming at the Weasley boys, she just sniffed and looked smug.

"How is it." Ron asked angrily. "That I trust a Slytherin now more than I trust a Gryffindor?"

"Next time you meet Ms. Green bring me along." Eli said. "I'll be able to recognize her voice."

"It's odd that your new friend met you in a secret Slytherin meeting place." Lydia said.

"What's odd about that?" Eli said.

"Well we're still in school." Lydia said. "School isn't a place for secret meetings and plots."

"Why not?" Harry asked. "We plotted in a secret meeting."

"He has a point." Eli said.

"Fred and George say that's what makes Hogwarts the best school." Ron said. "Everybody' s already acting like grown-ups, so by the time they get out of school we'll already have learned the extra spells that we'll need in the real world."

"So you're saying that Ms. Green wants to be a spy when she grows up?"

"I'm saying somebody wants to be a snitch." He sent another glare at Hermione.

It was their bad fortune that they were partnered together on the day that Professor Flitwick taught them their first charm.

"Wingardium Leviosa is a charm to make objects fly." Flitwick said. "Do you all have your feathers?" The students lifted their feathers in a sort of salute. "Good, good. Now, swish and flick."

The chant of Wingardium Leviosa went up around the room. Flitwick moved off to mentor Eli, eager at the proposition of a blind student. Harry kept his eyes on Ron.

After watching him, Hermione said, in the worst tone of voice she could possibly have used at the time. "You're saying it wrong. It's Wing –"

"Wingardium Leviosa." Ron levitated the feather. "I know what the incantation is." He said coldly.

Harry could see Hermoine's eyes boil. "So you're just pretending to be incompetent? While the rest of us slave away to earn a decent mark you're holding yourself back?"

"Here's the thing." Ron retorted. "I never had a reason to earn a decent mark. I already have friends. I don't need to get my classmates in trouble for people to like me."

Hermione's eyes flared. "Oh well done Mr. Weasley!" Flitwick said, looking up from Eli's work and seeing Ron's work. "3 points to Gryffindor!"

Hermione fumed. Thankfully, her retort was interrupted by Seamus exploding his feather. Otherwise, who knows how the two would have ended up.

After charms, Harry had his own very angry girl to confront.

"I helped you know." Juliet said, in her first time speaking to Harry since the Defense class where she'd thoroughly beaten everybody.

"Helped what?" Harry asked.

"With the timetables." Juliet said. "I didn't know what they were at first. I just helped terry get his math right. How could you do something like that?"

Harry blushed. "I'm sorry you feel guilty…"

"I don't!" She yelled. "I don't feel guilty." Her voice lowered to a low whisper. "You're supposed to be the boy-who-lived. A hero. Why are you being so… so… devious!"

"Nobody told me I had to be a hero." Harry said, eyes wide. "All that stuff happened when I was a –"

Juliet shot out a fist, and knocked him onto his back. "You're supposed to be a hero." She hissed.

"And what, you're disappointed in me?" He asked. "Why Jules? Why do you want me to be a hero so badly?"

"It's not what I want." She said. "It's what should have been. You're supposed to be one of the good guys, but then I went and introduce myself to you."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Harry asked.

"I'm bad luck." She said. "I'm a jinx. You weren't supposed to like me. You weren't supposed to be friends with me. I introduced myself, so that when Headmaster asked me if I tried to be friends with you I could say yes without lying. Don't you understand? I was going to tell him you were too heroic to recruit! I was going to tell him he couldn't have you! Why did you have to ruin everything? Now he'll know that you can be corrupted! He'll want to enroll you! He'll want to make you like me!"

"What are you talking about? You're not making any…" She spun around and fled, leaving Harry and his friends staring at her.

"Did any of you catch what that was about?" Harry asked.

They all shook their heads.

Later, during the Halloween feast, Eli's meal was interrupted. "Did… did somebody put a note in my potatoes?"

Lydia looked over his shoulder. "It's from your mystery lady." She said, passing the note to Harry.

_Juliet Landau has holed herself away in the second floor girl's bathroom crying. It's said that she spoke to you last. Any idea of what it's about?_

_Ms. Green._

"You have to talk to her." Lydia said. "I don't know what she's crying about, but whatever it is, it's serious, and she needs to talk about it with someone. I don't know what any of what she said to you means, but she's said more to you than anybody else."

"I know." Harry said. "I really wish she'd just come right out and tell me what it is."

"I find that most people aren't introspective enough to know how they feel, much less explain it to people." Lydia said. "If more people were honest with themselves, there would be less ghosts."

Harry nodded. "You should have your own newspaper column." Harry said. He went back to his desert (that, as best as he could figure, was made of the purest darkest chocolate known to man), when the doors to the Great Hall swung open.

Every head turned, as Hagrid stumbled into the hall. He had Professor Anderson slung over his shoulder, and blood was streaming down his beard.

"Dumbledore…" He gasped. "There's something… in the dungeons…"

And he collapsed on the floor, with enough force to shake the tables.

There was dead silence, as lightning struck nearby.

And then everybody screamed.

Everybody got up and started scrambling over themselves to get out of there. His food forgotten, Harry grabbed Eli and pulled him out of the way of a Cormac McLaggin's wild flailing panic.

"SIIIIIIIIIILEEENCE!" Dumbledore's voice echoed through the Great Hall. Somehow, even amid all of the panic, he managed to catch everybody's attention.

"Everybody stay calm." He said. "For all we know, the dungeons are simply infested with Nargles, they are unusually attracted to Hagrid. Everybody stay here, enjoy the feast, and if there is something dangerous, the Professors and I will handle it. Prefects, keep your students calm."

And with that, Dumbledore and the other professors left the great hall. McGonagall levitated Hagrid and Professor Anderson out of the hall.

Percy was in his element. "Alright everybody, you heard him, go back to your feast."

Suddenly, before he could sit back down, Lydia grabbed Harry. "Harry, Juliet! She doesn't know!"

Harry felt his blood run cold. He looked back over at Ravenclaw table. Lydia was right, Juliet wasn't there, she must still be in the bathroom crying.

"We have to go warn her." Harry said. He looked around. There were two entrances/exits from the Great Hall. Both of them had a clear vantage point so any student watching the doors – and there were several – would see anybody going in or out.

They had to get out, but couldn't without being seen… they needed an inside man. "Percy!" Harry and his friends ran up to their head boy.

"Take your seats." Percy said.

"But Percy –"

"Don't worry, I'm sure the professors know what they're doing."

"But Percy we need to get out and –"

"You most certainly do not." Percy glared at them. "Harry, you are not to leave this hall under any circumstances. I don't know what you're planning, but whatever it is you are not going to drag my little brother into it again."

Harry was too stunned to speak. Drag Ron into something… was he getting a reputation? No! This was bad!

Ron stormed off. "Listen, Percy, this is important…"

"Didn't you hear Percy?" Hermione asked, coming up behind them. "The Headmaster said that nobody should leave the hall."

Lydia spun around and punched her right in the jaw.

Hermione crumpled to the ground.

"That is it!" Percy bellowed. Every eye in the Great Hall was turned towards them. "Harry Potter, Lydia Deetz, Elijah Washington, you will take your seats this instant! When Professor McGonagall comes back, I'll inform her of your horrifying behavior!"

"What did I do?" Eli gasped.

Suddenly, the candles in the hall dimmed. When they flared back to life a hissing Acromantula was sitting in the headmaster's chair, hissing.

The screaming in the Great Hall rivaled the clamor made when Hagrid originally collapsed in it.

Everybody was up again and panicking. Percy was the first to react, flinging spells at the spider.

A significantly paler Ron rushed over to Harry. "I got Fred and George to make a distraction!" He said over the clamor. "Come on, let's go!"

Impressed with the level of Ron's quick thinking under pressure, Harry and the others ran to the doors of the Great Hall. They rushed past as Professor Zatanna opened the doors and rushed in. "What's all this commotion about?"

They sneaked past him and rushed up the stairs.

"Oh my." The Fat Friar, Hufflepuff's house ghost floated down. "What are you all doing out of –"

"Friar!" Lydia said. "There's a student in the second floor girl's bathroom. Can you get a hold of Moaning Myrtle to warn her?"

"Wha – mo – almost every ghost in the castle is in the South Tower celebrating Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington's deathday Lydia." The Friar said.

"Something's in the castle." Lydia explained. "We have to warn her."

"Go." The Friar nodded. "I'll rouse the ghosts."

They rushed down the corridors.

"Who's in the girl's bathroom?"

"Bah!" Harry yelped, as he realized that Raven was running behind him. "How do you keep doing – Juliet. She was upset, and she didn't come down for the feast."

"Right." Raven nodded. She said it without even a hint of being out of breath. That was when Harry realized something. "You're flying!"

Raven tapped her belt. It was definitely not standard Hogwarts dress code. "Family heirloom." She said.

Harry wanted one of those belts.

"Hold up!" Eli whispered. "There's something up ahead!"

The group ducked behind a pillar. As they watched, something hugewalked by, casting a shadow over the wall. Two noises came from that direction. A loud shuffling and thudding of something large walking, and the squealing of a girl.

"Hurrr…" The thing said. "Lost again. This map confusing. You read it again!"

Lightning illuminated the shadow of a hulking thing, both human and inhuman, and the small girl with pigtails in one of its fists. "I told you stupid!" Juliet yelled. "Your treasure is this way!"

Harry peered around the column. The thing holding Juliet was almost human. But it was huge. At least as big as Hagrid. It had pale skin, and black ragged clothes that looked like they'd come out of a swamp. His face was a twisted mess, with jagged yellow teeth, and rotting eyes.

"You lying to Grundy?"

He squeezed his massive fist, and Juliet screamed in pain.

And that was all it took.

Harry burst out of his hiding place. He had no idea what this thing was, or how he was going to get the better of it. All he knew was that it was hurting Juliet and he had to stop it.

"Oi pea-brain!"

Grundy looked at Harry.

"You… your mother!"

It wasn't the best insult, but he was working on adrenaline.

"She was… fat! And ugly! So ugly that she… had a face… that was ugly!"

_You stink at this. When you go home for Christmas holidays, buy the idiot's guide to insults because you really stink at this._

_Hey, that one wasn't half bad!_

"She was so ugly, that she bought the idiot's guide to being Ugly, because it could only make her more attractive!"

"What are you doing?" Juliet screamed.

"Green-eyes insult Grundy's mother?" Grundy asked. Grundy dropped Juliet, which Harry took as a win. Then Grundy picked up a suit of armor, or rather a statue of a suit of armor, and aimed it at Harry like he was about to throw a javelin. The pole-axe's head glistened in the light. So Harry was of mixed feelings about how his plan was going to work.

"Duck Harry!" Eli ran from his hiding place. He ran towards Grundy and flipped off of the wall, landing a spinning kick on Grundy's face.

"Owww!" Eli fell to the ground in front of Grundy, clutching his foot in pain.

"Blind kid shouldn't have tried to hurt Grundy." Grundy smirked.

"Wait, you're blind!" Juliet yelled. "He's blind! You brought a blind person with you?" She grabbed Eli and ran off down the hall.

"Pink-haired girl come back!" Grundy threw the statue at her. Harry thought she was done for, but she just gritted her teeth, adjusted her grip on Eli, and backflipped over the statue as it passed under her.

"Wingardium Leviosa!" Ron yelled, and the statue stopped in midair. Harry got an idea.

"Eli, what's that spell Professor Zatanna used to lock somebody's legs together?"

"Langlock!"

"Ron, keep that statue up, Raven Lydia, turn it around!" Harry ran towards Grundy. He was big, scary, and he was strong enough to punch out Hagrid. He should probably be running in the opposite direction.

_That's probably why the Hat put you in Gryffindor. You're an idiot._

"Green-eyes!" Grundy roared. He swiped at Harry, and he ducked at the last minute. Harry felt his knees buckle, as the force of the blow passing overhead propelled him forward without even touching him. He was propelled towards Grundy, and he rammed his wand straight up the giant's nose.

*BOOM*

A wave of accidental magic erupted from Harry's wand. He collapsed on the floor as Grundy yelled in pain. He hadn't meant to do anything magical, just annoy him. That left him drained.

"Harry!" Eli yelled. "Is Harry alright!"

"I'm fine." Harry said. He got up and ran.

"But Green-eyes will not be alright!" Grundy roared and chased after him.

Harry waited until the last possible second as he ran towards the statue, floating at the level of his head and pole-axe glistening. "Langlock!" He yelled. "Ole!" He ducked to the side. He hissed as he sprained his ankle.

Grundy's momentum carried him straight into the suit of armor… and through it.

The head of the pole-axe bent, and then snapped. Pieces of the suit flew everywhere as Grundy ignored it. He stood up, snapping through the leg-locking charm.

"Now Grundy Mad!" He yelled, standing over Harry.

"Don't!" Raven leaped in front of him.

"Ha! What girl going to do?"

Harry thought, for a moment, he saw Raven's eyes glow red. And then something more important distracted him.

The pale hand that tapped on Grundy's shoulder.

"Hmmm?" Grundy turned around.

There was Peeves, holding the Hogwarts bell in one hand. "Ask not for whom the bells tolls." He started out, poshly. "It tolls for… YO MOMMA!"

"That is how you do a your mother joke!" Lydia cheered, as Peeves rammed the bell onto Grundy's head.

"STOP MAKING FUN OF GRUNDY'S MOTHER!" Grundy roared, but then the Maitlands appeared, and they were carrying swords. They took a side of the bell and started hitting it ringing the bell.

"Come on men!" Nearly Headless Nick charged around the corner. "Nobody wants to be dead forever! Charge the Headless Hunt!"

A swarm of ghosts rounded the corner, and they encircled grundy, wailing and clamoring, and distracting him, while the Poltergiests kept hitting the bell.

"Come on!" Lydia yelled, grabbing Harry. They ran from the corridor as the Hogwarts ghosts went to work.

"Ah." As they rounded the corridor, they ran into Professor Dumbledore, Snape, and McGonagall. "Perhaps you three students can tell me what this deplorable racket is? It's enough to wake the dead."

They were at a loss for words.

Dumbledore peered around the corner. "Ah, I see. How curious. I thought that Peeves had been banned from entering the watchtower. One little problem at a time I supposed." He made a small gesture, and his phoenix landed on his arm, handing him the strange golden helmet Harry had seen in his office. "This will only take a moment."

Sweeping his beard behind him, Dumbledore put on the helmet. His clothes shimmered, and then were replaced by a blue suit that made him seem much more muscular than his robes, and he filled them out good. A golden cloak swirled dramatically behind him.

"McGonagall, before I forget, I would like to say I told you so." This new, strong Dumbledore strode down the corridor and into the midst of the ghosts. There was a bright golden light, and the ghosts cleared. Dumbledore was sitting on the Hogwarts Bell, back in his usual robes with his helmet tucked under his arm, combing his beard back to normal. Grundy was gone.

"If you wouldn't mind terribly Sir Nicholas, could you check and see if there are more of these beings about?" He asked.

Nearly Headless Nick saluted Dumbledore, and the ghosts flew off.

"Can somebody explain why five Gryffindor students and a Ravenclaw were out of the Grand Hall after we explicitly told them to stay put?" Snape asked.

"And excellent question." McGonagall gave all of them a stern look. "You'd best thank your stars Ms. Granger warned us you left. Otherwise, you might have all died. What in heaven's name were they thinking?"

"I don't know about the rest of you, but I was thinking about Bernie Botts Every Flavor Beans." Dumbledore said. "I mean… boogey flavor?"

"Oh, shut up Headmaster." McGonagall snapped.

"They came looking for me." Harry stared, as suddenly Juliet seemed smaller. She bit her lower lip, and tears began to stream from her eyes. "I-I-I was g-going to the l-lavoratory and they s-saw that I was g-gone and the came looking for m-m-m-m-me!" She bawled. "I-if they h-h-hadn't found me-e-e-eeee!" She ran over to McGonagall and hugged her robes, bawling her catlike eyes out.

"Oh, oh there there." McGonagall hugged Juliet, all stern lectures forgotten.

"Why did you not inform Professor Zatanna as you went looking for this girl?" Snape asked, not nearly as placated.

"Based on this morning's revelations, they seemed to think I was up to something." Harry said. "They wouldn't listen."

"So you had Lee Jordan let loose an acromantula, and slipped away?" Snape sneered. "Sixty points from Gryffindor –"

"For your combined foolishness." McGonagall said. "And… five points awarded to each of you, for pure Gryffindor quick thinking, bravery, and sheer dumb luck."

"I wonder what Solomon Grundy was after." Dumbledore mused.

Juliet sniffed. "H-he wanted this." She cried, holding up a piece of paper. "He said it was a treasure m-map. He wanted m-me to read it for him."

McGonagall almost cried herself at the sight of Juliet's ragged exhausted expression. "You five." She said. "Please head up to the hospital wing. Take this young lady with you. I want you all well rested after such a long night."

"Especially your star seeker." Snape muttered.

The six of them took off. On their way up the stairs, Juliet stopped crying. "Man that was close." She punched Harry. "My hero. That was for saving me."

"You were fake crying?" Lydia asked.

"Obviously." Eli said.

"I don't get it." Lydia said. "You were in the bathroom crying, and then you're playing with Professor McGonagall like putty. What are you?"

"It's quite simple." Juliet said. "I'm just a criminal in training."

"Why were you crying?" Harry asked. "It's not because of me, was it?"

"I just…" She shook her head. "I was just crying because Hogwarts is so much better than my old school. She stared at him. "Did you really escape the Great Hall and try to save me from that… thing, just because you felt guilty?"

"No." Harry said. "It's because I like you. And I like to protect the people I like."

She frowned. "I don't want to be your friend."

"Well too bad." Harry said. "There are some things you just can't do without becoming friends, and fighting a… a… whatever that was is one of them."

Juliet stared at him again. And then she smiled. "Well, alright." She said. "But be warned, I'm bad luck."

"Yeah? I already know that." Harry grinned. "Just be bad luck for people like Grundy, and that's good enough for me."

Ron shook his head. "Mate, this is the strangest Halloween I have ever had."

* * *

Snape paced around the office, and McGonagall looked like she was going to faint. "Dumbledore, are you sure it was him? I thought he was still in prison."

"There's no denying his handiwork Minerva." Dumbledore said, showing her the map. "And it appears his hand has a far reach, even in his cell."

In the bottom corner, there was a simbol. A triangle with a circle inside it, cut down the middle. Around the simbol were these words: _For the Greater Good. Hello again Albus old friend._

"Grindlewald."

* * *

_A/N: Three new characters today: Solomon Grundy, from the Justice League. Dr. Fate from the same, except Dr. Fate is really the alter ego of Dumbledore, this world's Sorcerer Supreme. And Crumbs, Lee Jordan's pet acromantula._

_I hope you all enjoyed this. Harry doesn't really act like a hero, and that's because in this fic he isn't one. Or at least, he's a nuetral good thief. Bet you never saw that twist coming, did you? Yes, this is the first true departure from Harry Potter canon: The appearance of Grindlewald, sending Grundy to do his work. I bet you all thought Voldemort was hiding in Zatanna's turban didn't you? Too bad he's shown explicitly not going anywhere near the thirs floor corridor._

_This is the last week to vote on who Dean's dad should be before voting closes. Read and Review!_


	10. Detention and Other Pastimes

**Book One**

**Detentions and Other Fond Pastimes**

When word got out about Harry and his friends fighting the monster that beat Hagrid and Professor Anderson and surviving, his popularity skyrocketed. It seemed that most people saw him as a hero now.

This was a good thing for Harry and his friends, but a very bad thing for the Slytherins, as Ms. Green pointed out in one of her mysterious messages. Now that Harry was elevated back to being a 'hero' a lot of the school (mostly the Gryffindors) set the Slytherins into the position of villains, thinking they must have done something to deserve it.

Harry still felt painfully guilty about it. He'd just become the bogeyman of the entire Slytherin house. Most people thought it was impressive, and he agreed with them. But just because it was impressive doesn't mean it was right. As far as he was concerned, he deserved every bit of the detention he got.

Detention was served with Filch, and Harry was made to work almost as hard as he had at the Dursleys, helping him clean every inch of Hogwarts.

Harry used the time to practice some magic when Filch wasn't looking. He'd managed to copy his edition of the Thieve's history. He'd already gotten Alohamora down pat.

The book was so fascinating. The Wizarding world didn't have as many thieves as the muggle world. But their methods were fascinating. Wizarding thieves dated as far back as Egyptian times, where the mudblood/pureblood hierarchy originated. The mudbloods were self taught, but they taught themselves well in the art of thievery.

This began to escalate, as the Order of the Jackal, the highest mudblood thieves in Egyptian times, developed new spells to break through their oppressor's mansions and tombs. The Egyptian purebloods developed new spells to stop them. This went on for two hundred years. Unfortunately, the knowledge of the time was lost, and there was little doubt that there would come another two hundred years where spells like that could ferment. Even today, professional curse breakers found it impossible to get into some of the Egyptian tombs.

It was the same story for feudal Japan and China, but they were much more focused on warfare than riches. The Noble House of Armane, however, was widely regarded as the greatest thieves in the world. They invented the concept of a thief 'signing their work'.

The spell they invented, Seh Jiyuu in Mandarin, Mosmordes in English, was used by many dark wizards to mark their crimes. It used soul magic to create an image unique to the caster, unless the caster was under some sort of fealty charm, in which case it would display their master's image.

Harry had to research soul magic after that. But it mostly just flew over his head. Apparently, it was an extremely advanced branch of magic. The spells involved tapped into your soul, though more modern studies said it wasn't a soul so much as a collection of everything that made you an individual. This was different from a soul how? Harry didn't know. The books he read about it in were pretty advanced, used lots of big words, etc.

Anyway, according to the portion of the book he under stood (who knew spellwork was so complicated? Looks like there was a reason Flitwick waited until Halloween to teach his first, simple spell.) the Mosmorde charm was the easiest spell in soul magic. Harry tried it out, but failed miserably.

Soul Magic is a branch of divination, so the image was a whole of everything Harry would ever be. He got close with his lightning scar. Something red definitely came out of his wand, but he couldn't see a shape to it. The trickiest bit with most soul magic was discovering yourself.

Soul Magic was very interesting to Harry. He tried to produce a Patronus charm, the one charm from Soul Magic that didn't need you to constantly experiment with which animal you were going to produce. Harry struggled, but he managed to produce a small silver mist with his first memory of his dad and Uncle Richie. He decided not to even try to be an animagus. At least, not until he could understand what the book meant by 'Internally Transfigured Organisms' and 'Tubular Rodential Disfigurements' or 'the Yogi Effect'. He wasn't even going to think about trying the Immaculate Conception spell.

His delve into the complicated world of Soul Magic and the history of thievery was enhanced by his detention's proclivity to go around every inch of the castle. He learned a lot about the secret passages of Hogwarts.

A lot of them weren't so secret. The inter-tapestry network was a common staple of Hogwarts; Rowena Ravenclaw had enchanted the tapestries in her home to act much like the Floo Networks. There were twenty tapestries in the Hogwarts corridors, and they were all connected. Most Hogwarts students used them as short cuts when they were late for class.

But there were other, deeper secrets to be found. Like the room that had a forest inside of it. Harry didn't know what it was or where it came from. It wasn't mentioned in Hogwarts a Histroy, and Professor Sprout just shrugged when he asked her after class one day. But the roof of leaves would pull away, making it a wonderful room for lying in the grass and tanning without having to worry about bugs. He snuck the gang out to the room at night, and they all had a nice time star-gazing.

Harry couldn't have asked for better friends. Lydia made sure the ghosts of Hogwarts kept Harry company during some detentions. She rotated her potions partners regularly to make sure none of them failed too badly under Snape's glare. Snape was sure to be cruel to them, especially Harry, and there was nothing they could do about it because nobody would hear anything against Snape after the 'frame-up fiasco'.

Raven had surprised everybody by showing a hint of emotion. Eli had turned out to be one of the best Seekers the House Quidditch teams had ever seen, and the team leader, Oliver Wood, was working him hard so Gryffindor would win the House Cup. When Eli had fallen asleep writing a Transfiguration essay, she'd stormed down to the pitch to give Oliver Wood a piece of her mind.

Nobody knew what happened, but Wood developed a nasty twitch and the Weasley twins reported that he couldn't sleep without an enchanted candle hovering over him and keeping the dark away.

Eli, for his part, was being drawn out of his shell. Ron's immense dislike for Hermione bolstered his desire for an education. Ron spent less time lazily pummeling fourth years with his chess skills and more time studying with Eli so they'd be the top of the class not her. Lydia jokingly lamented that all her friends were turning into bookworms, and begged Harry not to desert her.

Juliet fit right in with them when they were studying. She wasn't in Ravenclaw for nothing. Despite her apparent ineptitude with even the simplest spells, she kept her grades up by writing essays that left no doubt in her professor's minds that she knew the subject material.

Jules was still a mystery to them. She would alternate between grim and mischievous. She'd alternate between warning them against getting into trouble, and then get into trouble herself. She was the first one to object when they snuck out to the forest room after lights out, but when it was time to get going she just lead them through a secret passage that bypassed several stories.

Harry asked her how she knew about a passage even he didn't know about, and she just smirked.

He often wondered what it was that had him offer a hand of friendship to her. Was it the sorting hat's warnings that she wasn't dark, just broken? Harry remembered being broken, before he met his dad. He saw something like that in Jules sometimes, when she was in one of her grim moods.

But to be honest, he couldn't have stood her attitude if he was just hanging out with her out of pity. The truth was, Harry liked Jules' way of looking at the world. She saw the world as a dangerous but beautiful place. A place where you had to work hard if you wanted to survive, but survival was worth it simply for the beauty that the danger afforded.

Harry found it all very fascinating. Eli was just naturally afraid, and Jules practiced martial arts with him every morning before breakfast (sometimes Harry would join them, but he was nowhere near their level, he only knew a few moves from his friend Grayson). But Eli just saw things to naturally be scared of, and buried his fear in his Gotham-honed skills and his trust in god.

Jules saw the dangerous things of the world, and thought them beautiful, provided she could survive them.

The six of them grew to be fast friends, though Raven pretended not to care (her friend Cory frequently winked knowingly at the five of them). Occasionally, the mysterious Ms. Green would appear in her mask or send them a message, and Dean and Seamus would sometimes sit close by.

Halfway through November, Harry's Grandpa found Dean's dad.

His friends followed him outside out of curiosity. Mad-eye and Hagrid were laughing on the steps of Hagrid's hut.

"Harry!" Mad-eye stood and grinned on him. "Don't be shy now, I've deactivated the protection charms. Give gramps a hug!"

He pulled Harry into a deep hug, then looked at Dean. Dean was looking agitated, a little mix between happy and angry.

"I managed to trace your dad through blood magic." Mad-eye told him. "He's an American Auror by the name of Raye Penbar. During the War of Darkness, he was part of a small envoy the American Embassy sent to help deal with Voldemort. I'm sure your mother already told you how they met; she found him in the streets bleeding, she took him home and took care of him, they fell in love, he had to leave."

"He left because the Death Eaters were onto him, and he didn't want to lead them back to her. Then it came time for the American Unit to withdraw. We had a spy in the Death Eaters you see, and in order to maintain his cover, people had to disappear. So, the American Aurors retreated, and our spy convinced Voldemort that they were pushing up daisies."

"I managed to track him down to his cover in the F.B.I. He's put his past behind him, and is currently in a relationship with another F.B.I. agent. I'd understand if you didn't want to meet him."

"No… I want to." Dean said.

Mad-eye gestured to the front gate. A Korean man stood there, wearing a dark trench coat.

"Come on." He gestured to Harry and his friends. "Let's give them some privacy."

As they walked towards the castle's front doors, he took in Harry's friends. "Hmmm, so you're the rest of Harry's friends." He asked menacingly. "Do you know what this eye can do?" He asked. "It can see through anything."

Jules squeaked and covered herself.

Harry glared daggers at him. "Grandpa. Stop scaring my friends."

"Don't worry young lady, I wouldn't do that. However, I have been keeping an eye on you. And I want you all to know that while a thorough background check clears most of you –" His eye swiveled pointedly towards Lydia "seem to be mostly safe, if you hurt Harry, you will answer to me. Is that understood."

He was met with a chorus of 'yes' and one muttered 'paranoid old man'.

"This paranoid old man…" Mad-eye rounded on Jules. "happens to carry the keys to your salvation. Unless you want Severus Snape looking inside your mind."

He pulled out a pair of glasses from his overcoat. "Here Harry, try these on."

Harry put on the new glasses. Unlike his old ones, they were square, and boxy. "They're not very fashionable." He said.

"Sorry, the wire frames lessoned the spell's effect. We had to go with something more solid." Mad-eye said. "Now, every magic has a counter-magic. Normally, it's just a charm. For Legimancy, the counter-magic is occlumency. However, these glasses were exploit a loophole."

"They've been enchanted with a confundicus charm. I've tested them thoroughly. The eyes are the gateway to the mind, and if somebody tries to read yours then they'll have to go through those glasses first. The strongest Legmimancer I could find could barely read snatches through these things, and most of them just got stoned."

"Stoned?" Ron and Raven asked.

"It's a muggle term for hallucinating and being unable to think straight." Jules explained gleefully.

Ron stared at her, then at the glasses. "So if we wear these, and Snape tries to read our minds, he'll get 'stoned'?" He grinned. "Wicked."

"How did the frames lessen the effect of the magic?" Raven asked. "Nothing's supposed to effect magic except Nth metal."

"What's Nth metal?" Harry asked. "Grandpa, did you replace my glasses with some sort of super-metal without telling me?"

Mad-eye chuckled. "No, I only meant that Snape could circumvent the glasse by looking over the wire frames. With these thick rims, they'll be much more effective, unless Snape stuns you then takes them off."

Harry shuddered at the mental image of Snape looming over him as he slept.

"Won't Snape thinks it's suspicious that five students developed eye problems at the same time?" Juliet asked.

Mad-eye took out a wooden case. "I've got custom made contact lenses for everybody." He looked triumphantly at Jules.

"You're still old." She muttered.

* * *

"And then he took me to a shooting range." Dean said excitedly. "He showed me the different ways to hold my wand, and how I should do it properly. Notice how I'm doing much better in Charms class?"

"You've got to show me how to hold my wand." Seamus joked. "Not that I mind blowing things up, it's just that my eyebrows haven't entirely grown back yet."

It was the week before Winter Holidays. The eight of them were gathered in the library, and Dean was thanking Harry for finding his dad. It turned out, Raye was a cool guy. Dean's mom was used to being alone, and she was just happy to know what happened to him. She was glad to be able to move on, as long as Dean's dad kept in touch. Apparantly, she'd made good friends with Raye's current girlfriend.

Dean and his dad were sharing a close bond too. Dean enthusiastically informed Harry that anytime he needed a helping hand, he could count on him to back him up. He'd never sean Dean happier to be honest.

"Harry, it's time for your detention." Eli reminded him.

Harry groaned, and got up. When Filch said he'd make Harry clean Hogwarts from top to bottom, he meant it, and this was the week Harry would be cleaning the dungeons. "Well, here's hoping the SLytherins don't kill me." He said, heading off.

Harry was supplied a little writhing thing (Filch called it a gnome, but it looked more like a potatoe) on a stick, and told to use it to clear the dungeons of cobwebs.

Harry tried to ask the gnome what it felt about its captivity, and promptly resumed work with a bloody nose.

One of the dungeon ghosts, Montmorency the Sailor, accompanied Harry on his task, going on about how he once tamed a dragon and made it steer his vessel around during a storm.

Harry was almost finished with his detention when he realized; he could easily say he was lost down here. Ms. Norris' watch had eased ever since his first couple of weeks. He could maybe sneak over to Professor Snape's side of the dungeons, find something he could steal without innocent bystanders getting in the way, and…

_No! Bad Idea! I am in detention!_

_Well, Filch did say to clean every inch of the Dungeons._

_Do I have a death wish?_

_Relax, Snape wouldn't kill me. I think._

_He would so kill me. He probably has a place to hide the body already set up._

_I wouldn't put it past him but… yeah, I'm going for it._

Harry moved, wand in one hand, gnome-on-a-stick in the other, and moved through the dungeons. He preformed a spell he hadn't had time to test yet; a spell to detect reactionary spells. Reactionary spells were spells that were set up to be permanently in place, but only active under a set of circumstances, like a person passing by. They were usually used for traps.

He didn't get far when he heard Draco's drawling voice. "Typical Gryffindor. All bravery, no brains."

Harry froze. Then when he realized Draco wasn't nearby, and he ducked into a doorway. He peered around the corner, and was met with an unusual sight.

Hermione Granger was talking to Draco Malfoy.

"Do you honestly think that could work?" Draco asked.

"I asked Percy."

"Weasley."

"Of course. He's a prefect. Anyway, people are now looking up to Harry, and down on Slytherins. It's because, while he was perfectly horrible about it, he had the right idea. There should be more than eight students who are looking out for the others. If we had a sort of… patrol… then we would have been able to catch what he was doing earlier."

"And you came all the way down to the Slytherin Dungeons to recruit me?" Draco straightened up. "Why?"

"Because I know you don't like Harry." Hermione said. "You'll probably try and pick a fight with him."

She was right. Draco had already challenged Harry to a duel once, but Harry had declined. It was probably just an excuse to get him alone.

"You… you shouldn't go against the rules like that. This way, we can channel your revenge into a good thing. We can make you a productive member of society."

Harry was surprised to see Draco actually mulling it over. A police force made of students? He'd underestimated Hermione.

"The idea has merit." Draco said. "You're pretty clever for a mudblood."

"Don't call me that."

Draco grinned. "Well, I suppose I can talk to Snape about it. It's an interesting idea, but like Potter you don't have the whole picture. Any attempt to form a club like that, and in the middle of the year, would look like we were trying to capitalize on the Potter fiasco to grab power. I suggest we inform Professor Snape now, and see if he can arrange for it in our second year."

Hermione seemed to mull it over. "Alright." She said. "But in the meantime, do you think we could set something like that up informally?"

Draco glared at her. "I hope that you aren't asking me on a date."

"Of course not! I'm only eleven!"

Draco calmed down. "Good." He paused. "It would hurt my reputation to be seen with a mudblood like you. However… you are clever. I suppose the benefits outweigh the negatives. And anything if it's to hurt Potter."

Harry could tell this wasn't the answer Hermione was expecting. "Alright… well, I'll see you tomorrow then."

Draco nodded. "Tomorrow." Draco turned and walked away… down the hallway Harry was hiding in.

Harry ducked into the doorway, not drawing attention to himself by closing the door, just hiding behind it. "Argh matey!" Montmorency hailed Draco as he approached. "Did I tell you about the time –"

"Yes!" Draco stormed off.

Harry sighed, and was about to leave, when he heard an odd plucking sound.

He turned around. The only other thing in the room was a tall mirror.

He walked cautiously forward. There were cobwebs in this room, so he was probably safe if Filch or Ms. Norris came in. The mirror seemed to be lined with gold, and there were strange words at the top of the mirror.

Looking into the mirror, Harry saw his reflection and… somebody else.

A ragged looking man with silver hair and fine (if disheveled) clothes sat in the middle of the reflection, resting on an armchair. He held a violin in his hands, but he was plucking at it, only using the bow once in a while. His eyes were closed, and he was smoking from a pipe.

Beside the armchair, another ragged man with long black hair and clothes far too big for him sat munching on a chocolate bar.

The man munching the chocolate looked up, and nudged the man in the armchair. "Hey, lemon drop, we have company!"

The man in the armchair looked mildly startled as he put down his instrument.

"Who are you?" Harry asked.

"I'm Sugar!" The chocolate bar man said. "And this is me mate, Lemon Drop!"

"Quiet Reggie." The man in the armchair said. He moved the armchair around to face Harry. "Well well well." He said. "What have we here? I think the far more important mystery is; who are you?"

"Judging from the Gnome in your hand, the polish shine on your right sleeve and your uniform, I'd say you're a Hogwarts student doing detention for Filch. You're a Gryffindor, clearly. And you have a pigmentation in your eyes that can only be passed down through hereditary means, so I'd guess you're a relative of Lily Evans somehow, most likely her son. However you're surprised to see me, which leads me to conclude you were raised by Muggles and haven't had much experience in magic yet, being a first year and all. So, I'm sorry for your mother's death. But at least you didn't go untaken care of, if your shoes are any indication."

Harry blinked. Two thoughts crossed his mind; Who was this man, and why was he in a mirror?

But, in an effort to be polite, he said "Right on all counts. That was brilliant."

"Thank you." The man in the mirror said with a smile. "Most people would tell me to sod off, but I suppose that's why you can see me."

"You should see his impersonation of Dumbledore." Reggie whispered.

"As for who I am, I suppose introductions are in order. Pleased to meet you Harry Potter. My name is Sherlock Holmes."

* * *

_A/N: New characters; Raye Penbar, from Death Note, and Sherlock Holmes Robert Downey Jr. style. And also the Noble House of Armani has a relative from Death Note, Misa, though she hasn't appeared yet. _

_Since I only know that Warner Bros. was responsible for a Death Note movie, and I haven't actually seen the movie, I'm going to assume it goes the same way as the manga or anime. So form hereon in, I'm going to use mostly that. I believe I've already said that my version of Harry Potter is a mix of the movies and books._

_This chapter wasn't much but exposition and some vague hints at DracoxHermione, who may or may not become an official couple later. You all voted, and Raye Penbar is now officially Dean Thomas' dad. Which was what I was going for anyway (him or Daedallus Diggle). _

_Hope you all enjoy the cliffhanger! Stay tuned next time, to learn the mirror's secrets! Please review :D_


	11. Erut Nevda Erisedi

**Book One**

**Erut Nevda Erisedi**

Harry blinked at the man in the mirror. "Well… I… how did you know my name?"

"Elementary my dear Harry." Sherlock said. "Your mother told me." He got up and tapped Harry's reflection on the shoulder. And Harry felt it on his own shoulder.

Harry spun around with a shock, at seeing that Sherlock, Reggie, and the armchair, were all outside of the mirror.

Sherlock handed him a card.

_Sherlock Holmes_

_Private Investigator_

_Cases solved guaranteed .I assure you, I'm the best in the business._

_I accept payment in horse glue, amnesty for past crimes, good books, knighthoods, sheet music, dirt samples, ancient artifacts of eldritch power, warm and fuzzy feelings, pets, rugby or boxing tickets, and occasionally money. _

_Find me in the Mirror of Erised. I'm the answer to all of your problems._

Harry looked up at Sherlock, as he began to try and teach the gnome-on-a-stick to dance to his violin music. "Where did you come from?" Harry asked. "A private detective who lives in a mirror in a school?"

"It's an odd life I lead, but it's a life I'm good at." Sherlock muttered, lighting his pipe.

"It all started in what you would now call the turn of the century." He began to pace around the room, taking in every detail. "I was young, and getting ready to start my career as a detective. However my landlady, Ms. Hudson, was getting anxious because I couldn't pay the rent. This was before I went and became famous, so naturally, I didn't have much money."

"From the look of this business card, I'd say she was right to be worried about your finances." Harry said.

"It's called long term investing. I tried to split the rent by accepting a partner to live with. But for some reason, most potential renters seemed to be put off by the bullet-holes."

"Why were there bullet holes?" Harry asked. Holmes was fascinating.

"Because I had to run tests on the guns that were suspect in the killing of Lady Hartlieb." Sherlock said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"I can't imagine why that'd put your landlady on edge." Harry snickered.

Sherlock either didn't notice the sarcasm, or he ignored him. "Fortunately, a friend of my brother Moycroft happened to be searching for a new home after he'd… blown up… his last one."

"Sounds like destiny to me." Harry nodded.

"Oh my thoughts exactly. It wasn't long after Albus moved into 221B Baker Street that he started joining me on my cases."

"Wait." Harry held up his hand. "You knew Dumbledore?"

"Of course I did, he was my partner." Sherlock said. "I already knew about the wizarding world from what I'd deduced from Moycroft. He was pretty good at hiding his secrets. But Dumbledore introduced me to the rest of it. With his help to keep Ms. Hudson from kicking us out, I soon became famous in both worlds."

"Hold on." Harry said. "You're a muggle?"

"I am." Sherlock said. "But the presence or absence of magic has no effect on my effectiveness in my chosen field."

Sherlock sank back into the armchair. "Dumbledore and I went on many adventures. We brought down a coven of vampires who had set up a human trafficking empire in Volterra. We exposed Lord Blackbriar as the fraud that he was, a simple muggle pretending to be able to perform magic. The look of dawning apprehension on his face when the two met… I lived for moments like that."

He sighed, deeply. "But then the Second World War came around. Dumbledore's old friend, Grindlewald I think his name was, seemed to be fuelling Hitler's ambitions behind the scenes. We began to play a very dangerous game, and I didn't much care for it."

He stared intently at Harry. "The world is full of mystery. I became a Private Detective not because of any little thing like justice. I became a detective because I was bored. So many mysteries and so little time."

"Being in a war… there is no mystery. There's a good side, and a bad side, and none of the intricacies that you would find if you spent three decades studying the interactions between the occupants of London as they kill, blackmail, frighten, cheat, and steal from each other."

"I can understand that." Harry said thoughtfully.

"So, I went into the mirror." Sherlock pointed.

"I see." Harry examined the mirror. "You've been living inside of here since World War Two? Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi. What language is that?"

"Questions, good." Sherlock beamed. "Always ask questions Harry. Although the first answer is a painfully obvious yes. As for the second; it's English. You just have to read it backwards."

"Oh." Harry read it again. "Oh. So this mirror shows my true desire?"

"Again, yes."

"I know it's obvious, I'm just double checking." Harry noticed Sherlock's tone had changed from animated to bored. "You can never be too sure with magic. So you're saying my deepest desire is for an ancient detective and a…" He paused. "Where'd Reggie go?"

"Probably went off to find his friend Fudge." Sherlock shrugged. "I let him wander when I can. And to answer your question; there is more to the mirror than simply showing what you desire. Have you heard of the Pandora Charm?"

"Yes, invented around the same time as Hogwarts was built. It's commonly used to make mokeskin pouches or other things bigger on the inside."

Sherlock chuckled. Well yes, that's part of the spell. But another part of the spell is ensuring proper steps for retrieval of anything you've placed in a containment under Pandora."

"It's all to do with want. I believe Godric Gryffindor had a whole room installed in Hogwarts that stored everything he could think of, but a person entering the room would only find what he wanted to find. It's sort of the same thing with this mirror."

Harry looked at the mirror with newfound appreciation. "What do you mean sort of…" His voice faltered.

Behind his reflection, a pair of people were standing. One of them was a dimpled sweet looking woman, with long red hair. She looked down at Harry kindly, and protectively. Like he was the only thing in the world she cared about. She looked like she could sing a baby good night at a firing range. He didn't know why he thought that, but it fit.

He looked behind him, expecting her to appear outside of the mirror like Sherlock. No such luck; the old detective was simply lounging in his armchair, filling the room with smoke.

"The mirror really does show what the person looking desires most." Sherlock said. "However if you know the right spell, you can also put something in the mirror to be taken out if the right person looks inside. Your parents aren't inside the mirror."

Harry put a hand to the mirror, and his mother hugged his reflection. "It's not my parents. Just my Mom." His throat felt dry. "I wonder what that says about me."

"Probably something Freud would be delighted to delve into." Holmes shrugged. "I'm not Freud. I knew your mother you know."

Harry managed to tear his eyes off the mirror and turn them to Holmes. "You did?"

"I've been inside Hogwarts for as long as Dumbledore has been Headmaster." Sherlock said. "Sometimes a student will happen across the mirror. Whenever somebody looks in the mirror wanting answers, I'm there. Lily Evans was a very interesting young lady."

"So you're out of the mirror because I want answers?" Harry asked. "I didn't have any questions until you showed up."

"Exactly." Holmes said. "People can see me if they want answers. But you can actually free me from the mirror, because you want adventure."

Holmes smiled. "That was the condition I had Dumbledore weave into the spell. I wanted to stay here, unaging, until I met somebody with a taste for adventure. Where somebody like that is, adventure is soon to follow. Or suicide, but I hope you find adventure before depression can sink in. That's what you desire most. You said yourself that you had no questions. A life without questions is a life of boredom. Am I right?"

Harry nodded. "Absolutely. Though I've never been driven to suicide by the thought of a life without adventure."

"Then you haven't thought hard enough. I'll help you with that." Sherlock smiled. "Now we just go and find dear Albus, and arrange some living quarters. Voldemort is dead right?"

"That's what they tell me."

"No more dark wizards trying to take over the world?"

"No, except for Wotan in China."

"Then there's bound to be some amount of mystery around. Yes, I'll need…" Sherlock began, but he stopped and turned to the door. Harry had just enough time to hear the set of footsteps and remember he was supposed to be in detention not talking to ancient detectives, before the door opened.

"Reggie, that's sweet, but I don't want a lollipop right now." The Slytherin girl froze, as she entered the room with Sherlock and Harry.

"But it tastes like dizziness!" Reggie declared. The girl had him by the back collar of his jacket and was dragging him along, but he didn't seem to mind. "Come on Fudge, I know you want some!"

"Ah, Harry." Sherlock gestured. "This young man" Harry balked at the word man. "Found us in the mirror previously, when he was looking for some pleasant company."

"That's a guy?" Harry asked. The Slytherin had long luxurious hair, an elfin face, and was wearing a female Slytherin's uniform.

"Er… hello." The Slytherin composed himself. "How do you do Mr. Potter? I'm Ms. Green."

"Mr. Green." Sherlock amended. "Or rather, Mr. Nott."

"Sherlock!" He scolded.

"Nott? Theodore Nott?" Harry asked. "Sherlock, I know Theodore Nott. Not well, but this is not Nott."

"Peppermint!" Reggie smiled. "Fudge, come and meet Peppermint!"

"Reggie." Sherlock knelt down. "There's a sugar cube inside the mirror."

"Sugar cube!" Reggie ran headfirst into the mirror.

"Did he call me Peppermint?" Harry asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Sherlock asked. "He has a habit of naming people after candies."

"Theo?" Harry asked the boy who looked like a girl. "You're Ms. Green?"

He sighed, and closed his eyes. With a pop, he was suddenly much taller than his uniform, his hair was back to its short-cut self, and the face was back to normal. "I'm a metamorphmagus." He said.

Harry recalled a chapter of his books talking about metamorphmagus thieves. Most wizards had an animal in their soul. This was the animal wizards searched for when they tried to discover which animagus forms they had. But some witches and wizards had the soul of a human. They could never be an animagus because they already were human, so to compensate their bodies allowed them to switch their body parts up.

And apparently, Theodore had decided to use that ability to become a girl. Frequently, if the girl's uniform was any sort of clue.

Well, according to the book he wasn't the first, and he probably wouldn't be the last.

"I suppose you were right to keep who you were from Ron." Was all Harry said.

"Do change back Theo." Sherlock said. "A girl in a girl's uniform is far more aesthetic than a boy in a girl's uniform."

Theo popped back. "I hope this doesn't put you off of our partnership Harry." He said, through the lips of a girl.

"Ooooh, a partnerhip?" Sherlock's eyes gleamed. "Do tell."

"Theo, as Ms. Green, has been discreetly keeping me in contact." Harry explained to Sherlock. "Ever since the incident where I…" He blushed. "Well, I made Slytherin lose almost all of its points."

Sherlock said nothing.

"Come to think of it, what is your plan for this… partnership?" Harry asked. "You've just passed mysterious notes to us every once in a while."

"Well…" Theo shrugged. "There's a profit in being your friend."

"That's it?" Sherlock asked.

"You know how he made Slytherin lose almost all of its points?" He asked Sherlock with a sly smile. "It was because Snape, the head of Slytherin House, was mean to one of his friends. And look, he didn't even flinch when he found out I'm a cross-dresser."

"Well…" Harry shrugged. It was hard to convey into words how little his clothes and appearance mattered. "I mean… My dad worked with a cross-dresser once. He was a really cool guy."

Theo's eyes seemed to shine.

"Ah, Hogwarts drama." Sherlock smiled. "Almost as interesting as London before the first World War. Those were the days, eh Albus?"

"Indeed Holmes old friend." Dumbledore said, and Harry and Theodore jumped out of their skins as he appeared out of thin air.

"Headmaster!" Theodore yelled. With a pop, he turned back into a boy.

"Hello young Mr. Nott." Dumbledore said with a nod. "How odd. I do believe I have gone temporarily blind in one corner of my eye and cannot see anybody blatantly breaking the school's dress code."

"Same old Dumbledore." Sherlock shook his head. "Why haven't you visited me?"

"I haven't had want for answers, adventure, or company for quite some time I'm afraid." Dumbledore said somberly. "Whenever I looked in the mirror, all I saw was socks."

"Well at least you have your priorities straight." Sherlock took off his shoes, and began to take off the socks. One of them was plaid, and the other was neon green. "It got cold inside of that mirror, and these are very stylish."

"Um…" Harry was at a loss for words. "Socks Dumbledore?"

"Ah yes." Dumbledore turned to his two students. "Alas, when I was young, a childhood friend of mine, Grindelwald by name, stole my favorite pair of socks – the left belong to my mother, and the right to my grandfather – and hid them in this mirror. He cruelly made it so they could only be retrieved by someone who wanted to retrieve the socks, but not to wear them. I have lived a long life and fulfilled most of my wishes. And now, at last, I have my socks back."

Harry was trying – he really was – to cut Dumbledore some slack because he was suffering from the side effects of the cruciatus counter-curse. But was he really so mad that he saw his socks in the mirror instead of his best friend?

"And what do you see in the mirror now Albus?" Sherlock asked.

Dumbledore looked, and smiled. "A Christmas present for young Harry." He reached into his robes and drew out a package wrapped in brown paper and twine. "Merry Christmas Harry."

"Er… thanks headmaster." Harry said accepting the gift.

"Oh, and Mr. Nott." Dumbledore took out his wand and began to whisper something. The symbol of the golden Ankh appeared… Harry recognized it now as Dumbledore's mosmorde image. They generally appeared when doing wandless magic, or whenever a wizard wanted some flash.

"I have a present for Ms. Green." He presented the package that materialized out of the air. "Please do deliver it to her, I hear she has become a friend of Mr. Potter's. Also, I have unpetrified Mrs. Norris, and informed Mr. Filch that I believe Harry's detention has been meted out enough for tonight. Have a happy holiday."

Taking the clear sign of dismissal, Harry and Theodore left the room. As they left, Sherlock smiled.

Dumbledore began eagerly talking to Sherlock. "I've missed you old friend. There have been going-ons at Hogwarts that perhaps you can shed some of your unique light on. The game, as you say, is afoot."

Harry and Theodore walked along the halls in silence. "Don't worry." Harry said eventually. "You've already convinced Ron of all people that not all Slytherins are bad. But I won't tell anybody about your choice of… accessories."

"I'm glad." Theodore said.

"I know you are." Harry said. "You did, after all, see good company in the mirror."

"That's some mirror." Theodore sighed. "What's your game Harry?"

"What do you mean?"

"All Slytherins have a game, and I think I can be sure that the Sorting hat considered putting you in Slytherin." Theodore said. "Some, like Draco, want power for power's sake. Others, like Horace Slughorn, a family friend, just live comfortably by ensuring they make friends with people who will win their games."

"That's what I love about this school." Harry said. "Ron was right. Everybody acts like they're already adults."

Theodore waited patiently.

"If you tell anyone about this, I might let slip that you're a transvestite." Harry said. "But… I want to be a thief when I'm older."

Theodore raised an eyebrow. Harry was pretty sure he'd changed his eyebrow to be specifically suited to the task. "I was expecting something a little more heroic."

"You're not the first person who's said that." Harry said. "I suppose I do have a bit of a hero thing going on, as much as I don't like to admit it. But it really can't beat the thrill of a properly executed heist."

Theodore nodded thoughtfully. "You sound like you've done something like that before."

Harry shrugged noncommittally.

"If you're as good at planning heists as you are planning revenge, then I know a few friends in Slytherin who would pay handsomely for such talents."

"The Sorting Hat said Slytherin would help me on the way to greatness." Harry nodded. "But I do what I do for the thrill, not the money."

"Of course, the Potter's coffers are already full. I assume you want me to pick out the noblest causes for you?"

Harry raised an eyebrow. He did it fairly less impressively than Nott. "That's… right."

Nott looked down. "Not even my sister knows Harry. You're the first one I've told. I want you to know that I won't even think about trying to double-cross you."

Harry slung a friendly arm over Nott's shoulders. "You know Nott, you think too much like a Slytherin."

They parted ways as new allies.

* * *

_A/N: __I was inspired whilst reading up on Nott's character; apparantly, Rowling planned for him to be a childhood friend of and equal to Malfoy, to contrast with all of the henchmen Malfoy hangs around with. Since Nott Sr. isn't mentioned in the books very often, I assume he's less important than Mr. Malfoy, probably only a small fry in Voldemort's forces, so the reason he has special training? He's a metamorphmagus and Mr. Malfoy agrees with Nott that his son has potential and teaches him to be a competent Slytherin. I see him as a young David Xanatos transvestite. What? _

_When I was first planning this story, the prologue was going to be Sherlock Holmes and Albus Dumbledore taking down the Volturi. Then I realized that Twilight was Paramount, not Warner Bros. Alas, that scene was lost, as was the scene of Remus and Fenrir, both Quillouette style werewolves, fighting each other in a midair battle over Hogwarts (Fenrir being possessed by a poltergiest and Ron having strapped a pair of broomsticks onto Lupin)._

_I included the line about the vampires in voltura as a shout-out of story that could have been. Let's just assume the reason Twilight isn't included in this story because Sherlock and Albus already killed all the vampires, and Bella is living a quiet life in Forks with Jacob, who is a Harry Potter style werewolf that she has to lock in the basement during full moons. I hope somebody gets the idea to do a paramount crossover. Twilight x Indiana Jones x Star Trek. That'd be amazing. But as it is, I'm glad Harry got adopted by the Oceans instead of the Cullens. I think it was the better choice._

_New characters; Wotan, Sherlock Holmes, Reggie, and Theodore Nott. Please review!_


	12. A Magical Christmas

**Book One**

**A Magical Christmas**

Harry was walking along, minding his own business, and really he should have known better.

He should have seen the trap coming. He'd honed his reflexes enough that he really should not have been fooled by a spring-loaded trap underneath the Welcome mat. Especially since there'd never been a Welcome mat there before.

And being launched two stories up into a net? Man, he was getting slow.

But really his biggest mistake was not telling his friends the whole truth. And that's why he was no upside down, tied up, and being interrogated by his two best friends.

"Alright Harry, here's how this works." Richie said. "I have a lie detector. We're going to ask you a few yes or no questions. We will find out where you were. So you'd save us time by telling us yourself."

Harry felt the blood rushing to his head. "Come on guys, isn't this a bit much? You know I would never lie to you."

"Then where were you?" Dick asked. "The Waynetech pone I gave you went off the grid somewhere in London, the day after your birthday. Then, when school started, it was gone again. It was like you didn't exist any more."

"I know, I couldn't get a signal at all." Harry nodded. "I told you the phone broke in my letters."

"Harry, you're a horrible liar." Dick said. "Waynetech. Doesn't. Break. Somehow, you went somewhere that the phone couldn't reach. It could reach the whole planet through lead walls, so there's no reason it couldn't reach wherever you were, especially in London."

"Guys, what do you want me to say?" Harry asked. "And why do you want me to say it upside down?"

"For the intimidation effect." Richie said.

"Guys, you two are my best friends. I know that you won't drop me or anything, so could you please untie me?"

Richie looked at Dick and shrugged. "This isn't working."

"It's always worked before." Dick muttered, but he reluctantly began to untie Harry.

"And another thing. All of your letters were written on parchment. I've examined every single boarding school in the United Kingdoms, and even Europe. There's not one that uses parchment instead of paper. Not one that's outside of the signal range for the phone. And not one that has your name on its register."

Harry was let down onto the floor. "When did you become a detective?" Harry asked.

"Last year. I took an internet course." Dick stared into Harry's eyes. "We were really worried about you Harry. Waynetech should not malfunction like it did. And you kept sending us letters, but they sounded different."

"Guys I'm fine." Harry said. "Listen, I don't know why the phone malfunctioned. I'm not a genius inventor like Lucius. But as you can see, I'm fine. I just went to a really reclusive boarding school. It's privately run, you won't find it on any public school lists. I've even made friends, they can tell you it's all right."

"Why won't you at least tell us the name of the school?" Dick asked.

"Hogwarts." Harry replied automatically. After all, his name wouldn't be listed in any other boarding school websites. He'd have to get his dad and Mad-eye to help him make a Hogwarts website, otherwise Dick wouldn't be fooled for very long.

"That's an odd name for a school." Richie noted.

Harry stood up and brushed himself off. "It's an old school. Very British. It's a name steeped in tradition, and I'm sure at the time they weren't thinking of how it would sound to kids a hundred years later."

The door opened, and Mad-eye took in the scene. He was wearing his eye-patch again, but he could see through it easily, and probably caught Harry's dilemma the moment they sprung their trap. "Harry, your other friends are missing you."

_Saved by the bell._

"Come on guys." Harry said. "You still haven't been introduced properly."

* * *

Harry had invited his friends over to his place for the holidays. Lydia and Eli had parents to go back to, but Raven's mother encouraged independence, Ron's parents were visiting their cousin Charlie, a Romanian dragon-tamer, and Juliet just shrugged and said 'I go wherever I want'.

Danny had come home for the holidays too. He excitedly told Harry about his progress on the Willie Bank heist, and Harry showed his dad the Alohamora spell. It was the least of the spells he could do, but when dad brought him an electric keypad, with fingerprint recognition and heat sensors to recognize that a living hand was actually being placed on the pad, not just an image of one.

Alohamora worked on it.

It was impossible to get Harry and his dad's spirits down that night (though Danny did insist that Harry keep practicing with regular thieving techniques just in case).

After the first few days at Harry's home, they all went to Rich Manor. By this time, Harry had aquainted Ron with every muggle invention he'd need to know in order to maintain cover. Raven tagged along too, but Harry was sure she would be able to keep her cool.

Dick was at Rich Manor when they got there. He had that look in his eye that Harry knew to avoid. The first time he'd seen that look, it hadn't ended well.

* * *

Ronald Weasley's family was going to visit his older brother, a dragon-tamer in Romania. Harry invited him home for the holidays, and he'd promised to get his dad something muggle.

He hadn't expected his friend to be hobnobbing with the muggle's richest family!

They were even more wealthy than the Malfoys, which initially made him very suspicious of them, but they were okay really. Richie knew a thing or two about Chess, and he introduced Ron to a game of 3-d chess. Chess played on 3 boards, one on top of the other! And when Richie had gotten tired, he'd set up something called a come pewter to play chess with him.

Ron learned that come pewters were quite common in the muggle world. Even Richie knew how to take one apart and put it together again. Apparently, muggles used that balmy elekiticy that his dad kept talking about. He didn't know how, but elekiticy was carried around on copper wires, like mail carried around by owls. And the come pewter itself was like the ministry, everything had different jobs, and they used the elekiticy to communicate between each other.

In short, having a come pewter was like having a hundred house elves! Dad was going to love it!

* * *

Raven was perusing the Rich library. "You have very good form." She muttered, presumably to the shelves. "I almost didn't hear you."

"How did you hear me?" Robin appeared next to her.

"I have good ears." She selected Moby Dick. "I suppose you're going to ask me a few loaded questions about Hogwarts now? What do you expect to find discover? That it's a school for aliens educated by Superman? That's it's a school for training children in the mystic arts? That it's a school that brainwashes children into criminal behavior? Or are you just jealous that Harry's not going to the same school as you?"

Dick blushed, the last sentence making him not realize she might have cushioned the truth in her answer. "I'm not jealous. I'm just concerned. Harry's like a brother to me."

She showed him the cover of the book. "If he's like a brother to you, you should trust him. If he doesn't want to tell you yet, then you should be able to wait. Don't become obsessed."

She walked over to the armchair she had declared the comfiest and settled in with her book.

* * *

Thankfully, dick dropped the subject of Hogwarts for the rest of the Christmas holidays. In any event, he was having trouble staying on his toes with Juliet around.

Juliet had happened to walk in on a fight between him and Harry. Harry had begged Dick to teach him martial arts, and while he wasn't very good at it, Dick still like to spar with him to make sure he could at least handle himself against any average joe.

Of course, Juliet thought that Dick was attacking Harry, so she intervened. The following fight went on for half an hour. Even when Harry threw himself in between them, they somehow managed to keep fighting without even touching him.

Eventually, Juliet got tired, and let Dick put her in a chokehold, exhausted. She'd figured out that Dick didn't want to hurt Harry, but she wanted to spar with Dick anyway, just for fun.

"Why didn't you tell me when you found out?" Dick asked. "I would have pulled my punches if you didn't really mean it."

Jules licked the cut on her lip. "But it's no fun if we pull our punches."

* * *

When Christmas came, Harry was woken up by Ron and Richie shaking him out of bed. He would never claim to be a morning person.

The Rich family tree was all set up. It was a giant of a tree, stretching to the top of the stately ballroom. Half of the decorations on the tree looked home-made, and the full meter of clearance underneath the tree was bursting with presents.

Ron gave him a package full of sweets. Raven gave him a book about prophecies, bewitched so that if a muggle read it, it would look like a copy of The Lord Of The Rings. Harry thought lying to Dick was more trouble than it was worth. Lydia sent him an artistic looking statue… a surreal looking tiger. It looked like it was renaissance period relief. And there was this strange stone emblem in the middle of it… a pair of tigers snarling at each other.

Juliet gave him a home-made cane, decked with all sorts of jewels, and hiding a shiv in the handle. She blushed when Harry discovered this feature, and pointed out that the shiv was detachable, and the cane's lion head could hold three features at a time. One of the holders looked like a wand would fit in it. I mean, it wasn't very inconspicuous, but it was the thought that counted. Apparently, Dick agreed, because he started to fight Juliet again.

Eli sent him a book on self-defense. Hagrid sent him a home-made flute. Sherlock sent him a series of books on observation. His Uncle, Dr. Richard Kimball, sent him some special good luck charms from Hawaii, where he was on his honeymoon.

His mom gave him a very nice longcoat. He couldn't wear it at Hogwarts, but Harry spent ten minutes after opening her present walking around looking cool. Richie provided him with a fan and a pair of sunglasses.

Richie and Dick had bought their present for him together. It was a jetpack. An honest, no joke, jetpack. A hotrod red jetpack, that somehow didn't burn Harry's legs when he used it. And he did use it. Repeatedly.

Grandpa Moody had given him a dragon statue, which would come to life and eat anybody who tried to attack him while he slept. Same old grandpa.

But his dad gave him the best gift of all. It was his dad's lucky deck of cards, the deck he played with whenever he wanted to be sure he'd win. He carried that deck with him whenever he went out to pull a heist. When he was caught and put in prison, the guards confiscated the cards and sold them on E-bay. They were bought by the man who went on to run Ascot. When Harry managed to steal from Ascot's vaults, he also managed to steal back the deck of cards.

And now dad was giving them to him.

"Hey, you alright scarface?" Jules asked.

"Yeah." Harry said. "Um… 'scuse me, I'll be right back." He looked at his dad. Danny nodded, and nudged Tess, and the two of them got up to leave the room.

"Cool. Hey, thanks for these nifty shoes." She held up the ocean blue platform shoes. "I got some stockings that'll go great with 'em."

"Yeah, you're welcome." Harry smiled, and hurried out of the room.

"Well?" Danny asked, as they were out of earshot. "Do you like it?"

"You're giving me your lucky deck?"

"Yeah."

"After I messed up and got a whole bunch of people hurt in my hairbrained scheme?"

Danny chuckled and ruffled Harry's hair. "No lasting damage. I know you'll do better next time. You just need to find your own good luck charm. This'll keep you until you do. Don't worry…" Danny wrapped his arm around Tess' waist. "I already have the best type of good luck charm."

Tess motioned for Harry to come closer, and the three of them hugged. If Harry looked into the mirror of Erised right now, he wouldn't see his birth parents.

Raven walked in on them, silent as ever, reading the Arsene Lupin book Harry had given her. She paused when she saw the family together. She blinked. They were still there. She blinked again. Her eyes moved slowly left and right, as if looking for a way out, and then shrugged and walked past them into the Rich family Kitchen, where she smelled waffles.

The Ocean family broke the hug. "Thanks dad."

"Merry Christmas son."

They went back into the ballroom, where Richie was playing with his new Waynetech hovercraft, and having the time of his life doing it.

"Hey Harry!" Ron yelled. "There's one more present under here for you!"

Ron handed him the present. Harry recognized it as the present Dumbledore gave him when he met Sherlock. He quickly read the note.

_Your father left this in my possession before he died. Use it well._

Harry unwrapped it, to reveal a fine cloak.

"Go ahead and put it on then." Juliet smiled.

Harry put it on, and instantly everybody took a step back in shock. "Harry! Your body's gone!" Ron yelled.

Ron looked at himself. Ron was right. His body was gone. "Wha-woah! What is this I don't even!" Harry flung the cloak away in a panic, and his body reappeared. "What!"

"Harry." Ron was in awe. "That's an invisibility cloak."

"That's a what?" Dick asked.

Mad-eye tisked from the kitchen doorway, where he was holding a plate full of waffles. "Blatant breach of the statute of secrecy. Dumbledore's lucky I'm retired."

Raven stood next to him. "Mmmhmm." She mumbled, her face betraying no shock as she too dug into a plate of pancakes.

* * *

"So, let me get this straight." Dick said. "You're telling me that magic exists. It has existed for thousands of years. There are even whole families who are magic. And you're telling me nobody's ever found out about it?"

"A lot of people aren't very smart." Raven observed.

"And that's why you haven't phoned us?"

"Hogwarts was built before Benjamin Franklin invented lightning rods." Harry explained, hovering in front of him on his jetpack, his longcoat flowing in the breeze. "They're charmed against lightning, so nothing powered by electricity can work there. And it's unplottable, impossible to put on a map. So even if it did allow for electronics, I couldn't get any signal."

"This is so cool." Richie smiled.

"No it's not." Dick said. "What are these people doing, huh? They could be making a real difference with their magic. And instead they're segregating themselves from us?"

"It's not that simple." Mad-eye said. "We have our own problems. If you train yourself, you could probably kill about twenty people in a straight fight without weapons. Wizards and witches are born with four times that power. If we revealed that, say, an eighth of the world's population was a witch or wizard, would you welcome us with open arms, or be terrified?"

Dick opened his mouth to answer, but he thought better of it.

"You're just a kid." Mad-eye said. "Leave the politics to other people. As it is, there's a new bill some associates of mine are trying to pass. With the friendly reception of Superman, we're thinking of introducing the idea to muggles that magic can be learned by anybody, not just people who are born with the power."

"We'll grant wizards and witches licenses to reveal themselves to muggles and perpetuate this rumor. You can bet I'll be applying for one as soon as it becomes available. Just as a precaution though, I don't plan on actually going out and fighting crime in a costume. But just know that this is a secret. Don't tell anybody, not even your dad Dick. If you have to tell somebody, tell them that magic is real, but don't tell them that people are born magic. Okay?"

Dick looked like he'd tell his father in a heartbeat, but he nodded.

"Why don't you just hex him so if he tells anybody his nose'll grow?" Juliet smirked.

"Oh that goes without saying. I've already placed a ward on him."

"You what!"

"Wait, are you serious?"

Harry laughed as he landed the jetpack. "Grandpa doesn't mean it. He's paranoid, but he knows nobody would believe you even if you did tell."

Mad-eye smirked. His good eye rolled over to watch where Danny, Tess, and the Rich family were entertaining a guest. "Just don't tell anybody about magic, and it's all good."

The guest, a particularly beautiful woman with long, luxurious black hair, sat smoothly down across from the oceans and the Riches. "Okay, the first thing you need to know – and I know this'll sound crazy – is that magic exists."

The parents shared a look. The Riches looked shaken, due to their discovery of Harry's world earlier that day, but Danny and Tess kept their cool. "Why would we need to know that Patience?" Danny asked. The cat-burglar was one of the best in the business, and they had a good relationship.

"Well, a couple of weeks ago I was in Manhatten, under one of my aliases." Patience Phillips explained. "I was there to steal the Pink Puma."

"So that was you?" Danny raised an eyebrow. The Riches were even more anxious now. They knew Danny was a thief, but they also knew he would never involve them in one of his crimes, and Danny never gave them enough evidence to go to the police with. "I thought some guy named Jackie Chan was the one who pulled that heist. I wouldn't have thought you'd do a job and then leave a precious gem behind."

Patience winced. "I met a young lady who knew how to pull a fast one." She said. "I thought she had potential, so I let her keep the Puma. Her uncle, Jackie Chan, was actually trying to steal something else and the police thought he had the Puma. It was all a misunderstanding. We sorted it out."

"But the important part, is what he was trying to steal." She leaned forward. "He was trying to steal a magical talisman that could make you invisible."

Danny raised an eyebrow.

"I know, I know it sounds crazy." She said. "But you don't have to believe me, just listen. Jackie wasn't the only one trying to steal these things. Valmont Black wants them too."

"Valmont?" Danny sat up a little straighter. Valmont was the leader of The Hand. A criminal syndicate that was highly successful, despite only having a handful members to it, and not dealing in drugs or slavery. Danny had done a job or two for him, and always came out of it rich. He was a force to be reckoned with.

"Yes." Patience said. "So of course, I didn't look into the matter any more. But as I was looking into a certain renaissance statue of great value, I realized it also had a talisman in it. Knowing that Valmont isn't interested in paying for them as much as killing their owners and taking it, I tried to pick it up. But it was bought, at auction, by a Ms. Deetz and then given to your son as a Christmas present."

Danny shot straight up. "You think Valmont will try and kill Harry?"

"He might be convinced not to make unnecessary deaths in your case. You've worked for him before, you're valuable to him. But he will send his goons soon. And believe me, you don't want to fight them."

"What do you suggest?"

"Well, I was going to steal it from you, but then I realized; steal? From Danny Ocean? Not without a really good reason. So. I propose you give me the talisman – not the statue, just the talisman – and say I stole it. Valmont will come to me, and I'll go to one of my friends that is better equipped to fighting off shadow monsters."

"Is this all just a ploy to get the Batman's attention?" Danny asked.

Patience smiled. "I see word gets around. You know as well as I do that a job can have more than one purpose behind it."

Danny sighed. "Well, I'll ask Harry. It's his statue now after all. But I have to warn you, I don't trust you."

"Why not? The statue is the only thing with real value. I'm just asking for the talisman. It's worthless, you can appraise it yourself."

"Worthless except for its – alleged – magical properties." Danny pointed out.

"Now now lad, where's your sense of the unknown?" Everybody in the room stood up at the entrance of the short man in a fancy suit waddled into the room. He wore a large, crooked top hat, that short scraggly red hair poked out from. An umbrella was balanced over his shoulder. His grin was wide and his nose was long.

"Copplepot." Mr. Rich gasped.

"Hello Rich you old stiff." Oswlad Copplepot sneered. "I have something of yours."

A pair of women wearing red jumpsuits and elegant masks, with three swords instead of hands, leaped into the room and tossed the Rich family butler onto the floor.

"You have a guest Master Rich." Cadbury gasped from the floor. "I'm sorry… I tried to…"

Patience leaped up to attack the Copplepot. He swung his umbrella like a sword, deflecting the kick, before using it as a pole vault to aim a kick to her own head. She ducked it, bending at the knees and letting him pass over her, but the Kabuki twins lashed out with kicks of their owns at her legs, bringing her down. Their knife-fingers pinned her clothes to the ground.

"Now now pretty kitty." the Penguin chuckled. "I usually do birds, but I suppose I'll settle for a cat this time. Give me the tiger talisman, and nobody gets –"

There was a squeal of delight, and the supervillains turned, to see Juliet standing in the doorway. "You're the Penguin!"

"Uh… yeah. I am." The Penguin was surprised to see somebody actually excited to see him.

"You've been terrorizing Gotham for years!" She said happily. "After you went to Asia, and came back trained in the martial arts, and with a flock of tame birds! You've been terrorizing the roughest city in America with tame birds! Can you autograph my shoes?"

The Penguin leered with delight as Juliet's outstretched leg. "Of course." He said, taking her foot in his hand. "Anything for a pretty bird like you."

"I've eleven!" She planted her foot firmly in his face.

"Waugh!" He cried, falling back on the ground. The Kabuki twins tore their knifes away from Patience, but Harry burst through the window on his jetpack. He pummeled into the twins, driving them into a cushioned area set up by Dick, who'd crept behind them while Juliet was distracting the Penguin.

"Are you all right dad?" Harry asked.

"We're fine." Danny said. Tess was helping Patience up, and the Riches were comforting each other, and Cadbury.

"Harry." Jules said, admiring her platforms. "I. LOVE. These shoes. This is the best Christmas ever."

"Your grandfather saw them from outside." Dick said. "We came as quick as we could."

"Waugh." The Penguin sat up. "You'll pay for that." He took off his top hat, and shadows spilled out. The shadows slid away, and became ninjas.

"Relax." Mad-eye walked into the room. "They're just Shadow-kind. I know how to deal with them." He took out his wand. "Expecto Patronum!"

A silver mist shot out of his wand, forming into a giant bear in the middle of the sitting room. The bear stood onto its hind legs… and settled into a kung-fu stance.

"Uh… I think we've overstayed our welcome." The Penguin chuckled weakly. "Sorry for interrupting your holidays Mr. & Mrs. Rich, I'll just be…"

"You'll be staying." Mr. Rich looked furious. "At least until the police get here."

The Shadow-kind charged, but Mad-eye's patronus kicked, dodged, and punched, quickly settling the matter of the shadow-kind. Mad-eye quickly obliviated the Penguin.

"Wha –" He looked around. "Where am I…" He was quickly silenced as both Patience and Juliet kicked him out of the room.

"I know Chan." Mad-eye continued as he took care of the Kabuki twins, wrapping them up in chains. "I trained beside him with the Golden Oni. I'll take the talisman to him. You can go."

Patience smirked. "Did you have the room wired?"

"No." He flipped up his eye-patch, revealing his eye. "I lip-read."

While she was busy staring at him, he petrified and obliviated her. His patronus finished with the shadow-kind, and Mr. Rich glared at the three intruders. "Regina, please call the police, and an ambulance for Cadbury. I want these… people out of my house."

"Grandpa, are you okay?" Tess latched onto Mad-eye's arm.

He waved her away. "I'm fine. Just a little tired. I'm glad it's Christmas, I should have been more prepared to summon a patronus. Constant Vigilance."

"Are you okay dad?" Harry asked.

Danny stood frozen, but he snapped out of his reverie at Harry's voice. "Yes, I'm fine." He smiled. "Just a little shocked. I mean, there's parlor tricks, and there's summoning a magic kung-fu bear. I just wasn't expecting it."

He chuckled and patted Harry on the back. "I'm fine. I'll just have to have words with Valmont after I'm done with Banks."

The look on his face was calmer than Mr. Rich's, but no less deadly.

* * *

Raven slid into a closet in the back of the house. She hoped that Harry's grandfather wouldn't turn an eye her way. But even if he did, he wouldn't be able to see who she was talking to. She opened her eyes, and then opened her second set of eyes. Her blood red glare lit up the darkness.

"Shendu. If you're out there, come here now."

With a serpentine hiss and a flash of gold, the ethereal demon sorcerer made his presences known. He circled around her like a shark, his half-formed astral spirit streaming behind him. "Dearest Niece. How kind of you to want to see me."

"How did you manage to attack this place?"

"My but you have grown bold to think you can wrest an answer from me."

Raven's astral form flared. On the material plane, she was nothing but a little girl, with perhaps greyer skin than most. On the astral plane, her form was more impressive. Her four eyes glared with a fiery passion, and the hundred dark appendages behind her streamed forward and pinned Shendu down in shadow.

"You've recovered the sheep talisman? So a mere twelfth of your strength. You are still caged uncle. Whereas I am free."

"I will not be caged for long." The demon sorcerer hissed. "Soon, I will become free. As will your other uncles, your other aunts, and even your father. He says hello by the way."

Raven's astral form hissed, but her material form stayed silent, and tried to keep itself collected. "Do not goad me."

"I will do unto you, what you presume to do to me."

"How did you attack?"

"Through my servants."

"You know that I have a charm against the shadow-kind."

The dragon laughed. "You are bolder, but you are still just a little girl throwing a temper tantrum. I am disappointed. At least my son has the excuse of being just as caged as I am. You are free, but chose to withhold your help." Shendu's spirit rose to the level of Raven's second set of eyes. "The age of the Demon is coming. It matters not that our goals this night went unmet. We will soon have the world in our hands, as is right."

"You're wrong." Raven said, trying to keep the tremor of fear out of her voice. "Have you read the news lately? Even if you do escape, there are people who could stop you. Superman. Green Lantern. This is the age of heroes."

Shendu backed away, if only for a moment. Then he laughed again. "How did I get my shadow-kahn past your paltry charms? Simple child. Your friend Harry, he has an amusing protection spell on him. But that protection also extends to his friends… you. He invited you, and since he doesn't know to exlude the invitation to families, he invited me. I was able to get past your ward, because the far greater power the boy-who-lived holds unknowingly let me in. You endangered your friend, simply by befriending him."

With chilling laughter, Shendu left. "Age of Heroes… age of Demons… either way my darling Niece, you will be alone when your father calls for you."

* * *

_A/N: I'm sort of cheating here, by including characters from the Jackie Chan Adventures. Techincally, I'm not sure that they are property of Warner Bros, I only know that they starred on Kids WB. But you know what? I'm not gonna pass up a chance to work them into a story, especially when Trigon being a Demon Sorcerer makes so much sense. Valmont is Sirius and Bellatrix's brother, and yes he is a wizard. Richard Kimball is Tess' brother. Mad-eye's daughter married a Kimball, and gave him two grandchildren._

_i decided to go with the version of Penguin from The Batman, and the version of Catwoman from the movie. Many people didn't care for the movie, I know, but I found that as long as you could recognize the movie as it's own story, it was pretty good. It was certainly the best portrayel of Catwoman I've seen. None of the others, from batman cartoons to batman movies, were as good as her portrayel, and I'm only stopped from saying it was better than her comic book incarnations because I haven't read many comic books staring her so I wouldn't know._

_Uncle is a wizard. I have yet to decide wether Jane will be one or not, and if she is wether she'll attend Hogwarts. Oh, and Patience is Viper. It's just one of her aliases. I mean, she was stealing a diamond named after a cat, it was obvious who she was._

_Sorry for the let-down with the fight scene. I couldn't think of a way to include Jackie Chan in here and have a proper fight. Still, I hope you enjoyed Mad-eye's kung-fu bear patronus. Honestly, what other animal could represent him?_

_Please review! Merry Christmas!_


	13. Underestimating, and Overestimating

**Book One**

**Underestimating, and Overestimating**

Lucius sipped his tea with his younger brother Valmont. "And instead of waiting for an opportune moment, you attacked right under Mad-eye's nose… why?"

"Because, I'll be able to buy Mr. Copplebot's way out of jail, and he will be in my debt."

"You could just Imperius him."

Valmont shrugged. "I prefer more substantial means of control. But I didn't come here to talk of my business duping the muggles."

"Indeed." Lucius put down his cup. "Harry Potter."

"It doesn't do to underestimate opponents." Valmont said. "He may be just a boy, but he showed that to the Dark Lord quite thoroughly as a baby, didn't he?"

Lucius nodded. "What's important, is to note which way the wind blows." He said. "This boy was raised by Mad-eye. Doubtless he already has command over powerful magics. Allying with him is not an option. It would seem Mad-eye schooled him not to talk to families like ours."

That caught Valmont's interest. "Your son is at school with him, isn't he?"

Lucius smirked. "The joys of fatherhood."

"So, a spy in the school." Valmont took a sip of his tea. "And I have my own spy as well."

"Do you?" That caught Lucius' attention. He didn't know very much of the new allegiances his brother kept alluding to.

"More or less. I do know what goes on in there at least." Valmont put his cup down. "So, you're saying that Harry Potter, an incredibly powerful wizard, has been drilled since childhood by the most successful auror of his generation not only how to hold in a duel, but to despise people such as you and me. In short, we must strike first, or perish."

"I have a dark artifact that I can slip into the school." Lucius said. "I'll have to wait until next year for the full effect, but if I play my hand right, I will have complete control of Hogwarts. Things are hectic enough down there as it is; apparently, Dumbledore wants a new teacher in the middle of the school year."

"If I play my hand right, I could have Dumbledore dead before then." Valmont said.

Lucius looked at him with a piercing gaze. "Are you dabbling with the darker arts Valmont?"

"Of course not brother." Valmont said. "But I am currently working with somebody who is."

"Not a demon sorcerer?"

Valmont shrugged. "Fortune favors the bold."

Lucius raised an eyebrow. "Now you sound like a Gryffindor. Do not underestimate your allies."

"Anymore then I would underestimate my foe." Valmont finished the Malfoy family motto.

A storm was coming. And Harry Potter would be in its very eye.

* * *

"You're saying you want to find out what's in the third right corridor?" Ron balked. "You're mental mate."

"I'm in." Juliet said.

"Sounds like fun." Lydia grinned.

"You're all mental." Ron amended.

They were riding the Hogwarts Express back to school. The winter holidays were over, and they'd packed up whatever Christmas presents would work at Hogwarts and gone back to school. And then Harry had made his announcement.

"Come on, it's the only part of the school we haven't explored yet."

"Because, there's this thing, this really important thing Dumbledore said at the beginning of term." Ron said. "Eli, you have good ears, what was it that Dumbledore said?"

Eli was looking nervous. "He said that nobody should go there unless they wanted to die a very painful death."

"There, you see?" Ron said. "I think that's pretty important."

"Do you really think Dumbledore would let students die?" Raven asked. She looked away from Juliet's mad grin. "Not that I'm condoning this."

"She's right." Harry said. "I mean, Fred and George aren't dead, are they?"

"What do they have to do with anything?" Ron asked.

"You one said that they knew the school like the back of their hands." Ron nodded. "And they seem like the kind to make trouble, so I'm guessing they figured it out like I did, in detention with Filch. Right?" Ron shrugged. "So… how likely is it that Dumbledore would announce something is out of bounds, and they'd go and check it out anyway?"

"Well… when you put it like that… it's pretty likely." Ron admitted grudgingly.

"Right." Harry nodded. "So whatever it is, they didn't die. We may as well check it out."

"Why not just ask them first?" Raven asked.

* * *

At the welcome back feast, Dumbledore made an announcement. "I would like you all to gie a warm welcome, to our new choir instructor, Mr. Sherlock Holmes."

The school rose up and clapped for their new instructor. Harry wondered how long it would take them to find out that Sherlock was a muggle.

As they settled down back into the feast, Ron was talking to his brothers. "You know, you two must be idiots."

"That's just another word for brave." Fred said with a grin.

"You're just jealous you didn't try it first." George matched his brother's knowing look.

"What is it?" Harry asked.

"Time and a place young Harry." George said.

"If we were to say something right here, you'd get detention with Filch for the rest of the year as well." Fred said.

"And then we'd have to pick up the pace to get into as much trouble as you." George said sadly.

"Indeed brother of mine. One would think young Harry here is trying to take our jobs."

Harry grinned. "Maybe I am. You two wouldn't know where to get one of those giant spiders, would you?" The look of shock on the twin's usually smug faces was priceless.

* * *

"There's a cerebrus in the corridor." Ron explained as the six of them were in an empty corridor after their first potions class.

"What's a cerebrus?" Eli asked.

"It's a big three headed dog." Raven explained.

"Well I see Dumbledore wasn't kidding when he said we shouldn't go in the corridor." Eli said. "We'll all be killed."

* * *

They stood just inside the third floor right-hand side corridor. The entire corridor was abandoned, but there was a door there, and behind that was a cerebrus.

The Maitlands ghosted through it, and immediately came back. "Sandworms." They explained to Lydia, who nodded as if that explained everything.

* * *

"Sandworms, are giant monsters of the ethereal plane that eat ghosts who go out of their natural habitats." Lydia explained as the rushed to history of magic class. "The Maitlands can haunt me, which is why the Department of Has-Beens in the ministry has granted them permission to haunt the school. But apparently, some parts of the school are blocked off. Maybe some of the school ghosts will be able to get through."

* * *

The school ghosts didn't get through. And the twins couldn't procure another acromantula.

The first week back at school had been a relief, but Harry hadn't been able to figure out anything new. The weight of his dad's lucky deck was heavy in his pocket. Whatever was in the third floor corridor, he wanted to try his luck against the wards.

The good news was, Hermione seemed to be avoiding them. He knew it would be like this. Even Robin Hood had people who believed he was just another outlaw. And he wasn't about to explain to Hermione why he wanted to be a thief.

He didn't want what was in the third floor corridor. He didn't even know what it was. He just wanted to test himself, and get through it.

As he went into Friday choir class, he reminded himself that his dad was still plotting revenge on Willy Bank, and he shouldn't be upset at not having made any progress.

Sherlock didn't just stand at the front lecturing them on how to play like Flitwick, he ran through the choir like a mad hornet, correcting the posture of the band, and having them play music like they'd never played before. Instead of learning how to make music, they were learning how to make noises, and then string those noises together into something coherent.

It was so distracting, that when Harry realized that Sherlock had slipped a note into his pocket sometime during class, he was caught almost completely off guard.

They met that night, in the same room in the dungeons where the mirror was kept before. The mirror was gone this time, but the cozy looking chair was still there, and Sherlock was sitting in it, puffing on a pipe and reading a book.

"Ah, Harry. Hello." Sherlock put away the book and sat up straight.

"You wanted to talk to me professor?" Harry asked.

"More or less." Sherlock leaned forward. "You've been peeking into the third floor corridor."

To say Harry was shocked was an understatement. "How…"

"I don't need magic to be invisible." Sherlock said genially. "Although, it does help. Not with Eli though, I needed to be on my guard not to slip up with him around."

He puffed on his pipe and looked at Harry. He looked at him like Dumbledore, with piercing, calculating eyes. Harry took a gamble that Sherlock would be as informal as Dumbledore. "Are you going to give me detention professor?" Harry asked.

Sherlock chuckled. "Don't call me professor, it makes me sound old." Harry wondered at how old the silver-haired man thought he was. "No, I'm not going to give you a detention. Detentions are for people who are scared of getting their hands dirty. You looked into the mirror and saw adventure. Detentions won't work on you."

Sherlock stood. "No, the quickest way to get rid of excess curiosity is to satisfy it. If you still want adventure after that, then I doubt a scolding will do the trick."

"You're going to tell me what's in the corridor?" Harry asked. He couldn't believe his ears, or his luck.

"Yes." Sherlock began to pace. "There's a good many things behind that door, but the most important one is the one we took from Gringotts the day Hagrid took you shopping. You remember, don't you?"

"I thought it might be that." Harry said. "The newspaper did say that somebody broke into the vaults later that day."

"Ah, so you did notice." Sherlock smiled. "Inside that package was a magical artifact."

Harry nodded. According to his book, magic artifacts were enchanted items that were one-of-a-kind. Invisibility cloaks and family clocks were rare, but artifacts could not be replicated. Generally, any artifact found was turned into the Ministry to study, to see if they could replicate it.

"This artifact holds the unique property of granting immortality." Sherlock said. "Now, undoubtedly, there are several people who would like to get ahold of it. But there are only five I know of, who are capable of breaking into Gringotts to get it. Alastor has cross referenced the list with me."

"Who are the five?" Harry asked. He wanted to know his competitors for Gingotts thievery.

"Well, there's Grindlewald. I remember him from when he was alive, and he's certainly a suspect but he's currently in prison. Then Bartimeus Crouch Jr. A criminal mastermind, presumed dead, but I wouldn't put it past him to fake it. Same with Harry Houdini, except for the being a criminal mastermind part. Then there's Gilderoy Lockhart. Based off of what I've read, he's certainly capable of improvising his way in, though I doubt he could plan a break in. And then the fifth. I don't think I need to even mention Voldemort."

"But he's dead too." Harry said. "So that leaves either Grindlewald or Lockhart, unless you want to go chasing ghosts."

Sherlock looked at Harry, and his right eyebrow twitched. It wasn't a twitch of confusion. He didn't get confused. It was a twitch of realizing he'd made a false assumption out of incomplete information. "Alastor said he already warned you Voldemort was still alive."

For a moment, Harry couldn't understand what Sherlock had just said. He'd heard the words, but the order was all wrong. When you put the words in that order, they said something that was clearly wrong. It took Harry's mind a few seconds to catch up to the fact that maybe he was wrong, and Voldemort was alive.

And then he felt the shiver run down his spine. He'd read about Voldemort of course. After discovering that his parents were murdered, not killed in a car crash, of course he'd researched who was responsible. And the books, along with grandpa Moody's first hand accounts, painted a pretty grim picture.

"He did mention it… but that was just grandpa being grandpa. Right?" The last word shook with fear.

Sherlock shook his head. "No, Dumbledore has conclusive evidence that Voldemort is alive. Two years ago, he even came face to face with him, in a Romanian forest."

Harry's mind was blown. There was a maniacal wizard on the loose, one that had tried to kill him before. The man who had killed his parents, was still out there. "But Voldemort was killed." And in the back of his mind, a small voice of doubt whispered; 'How do you know? How does anybody know?'

Sherlock shook his head. "That is a statement drawn off of false facts. Have you heard of vampires?" Harry nodded mutely. "Voldemort is like that; you killed him, in that he has no pulse, no body. But he's not dead either. He's a has-been, much like the ghosts, except more powerful than a poltergeist."

"Dumbledore has studied what happened on Halloween night those years ago. Extensively. He's been able to pinpoint exactly what happened that night, using the art of deduction he picked up from being my partner. He used Voldemort's physical death as a ruse to smoke out his most loyal followers, and leave the less loyal ones off-balance enough for him to get the world back in order. You really shouldn't go assuming people are dead."

Harry took a seat in Sherlock's easy chair. "Why didn't anybody tell me this?"

Sherlock shrugged. "You're eleven years old, and for the moment you're safe. The history books won't say it, but Mad-eye Moody was the other wizard Voldemort feared. It's just that nobody's ever seen a fight between them and lived to tell the tale. And, obviously, you grew up with Alastor as a foster grandparent. He did tell you."

Harry nodded, and gathered himself. Sherlock was right. He was safe. More importantly, his new family was safe, as long as Mad-eye was there. With that comforting thought, he was able to think clearer.

"So you're saying that Voldemort is probably going to try to steal what you have in the third floor corridor and that you need my help to stop him…" Sherlock was shaking his head.

"It's very interesting how one of your first thoughts was that you had to stop Voldemort, but the world doesn't revolve around the pair of you Harry. Forming an assumption before you have every fact available is bad."

Sherlock resumed his pacing and pipe puffing. "Do you recall the Inferi that attacked on Hallow's Eve?"

"Solomon Grundy?"

"He was a very peculiar Inferi. He had some measure of personality, and had to be compelled to do the commanding wizard's bidding, with the trade-off that he was stronger than a fully grown giant and intelligent enough to improvise."

"This Inferi had a map on him. The map had a note at the bottom, written in latin so the Inferi wouldn't understand. The note was a message for Dumbledore, written by Grindlewald."

"So Grindlewald sent Grundy to steal it?" Harry asked.

"Again, those are assumptions formed around incomplete information." Sherlock said. "There is the issue of Motive; why would Grindlewald want a source of immortality. Dumbledore has made inquiries, and Grindlewald is in perfect health."

"So you think…" Harry paused, realizing the pattern his questions were taking. "What do you think?" He asked instead.

"I don't know." Sherlock said. "It's dangerous to make assumptions when you don't have all of the information."

"So why are you telling me this?" Harry asked.

"Well, to keep you out of trouble." Sherlock said. "… And I may also have a little job for you, if you're up to it."

Harry leaned forward. "I'm listening."

"We could just go and ask Grindlewald himself whether he's behind this, or whether he's being framed. Unfortunately, we didn't part on the best of terms. But I think that if you were to come with me, we would get a most illuminating reaction."

* * *

Ron shook his head. "At this point, nothing will surprise me. The choir professor is a muggle, and he wants to take you to see the most dangerous wizard alive, inside the second most scary prison, and you actually agreed to go!"

"What's so surprising about that?" Lydia asked. "It's Harry." Juliet chuckled and nodded in agreement. They had the Gryffindor common room to themselves. It was a stormy evening, and everybody who was in the common room had been spooked off by Lydia.

"Well, yeah I guess." Ron said. "But how does Sherlock expect to get Grindlewald to tell Harry what he knows?"

"It is suspicious." Raven agreed.

"Guys, I just have to do this." Harry wondered how he could explain it to them. "My dad has this code. A code of honor I guess. And on the top of that list, is you protect your friends if somebody tries to hurt them, and if somebody succeeds, you make sure they'll never try again. Some of us almost got hurt last Halloween, and if going with Sherlock means no more super-zombies show up, then that's what I have to do."

"Aaaww, you're turning into a hero on us Harry." Juliet said jokingly.

"I guess I can understand that." Ron said. "But blimey Harry, first the super-zombie, then the third floor corridor, and now Grindlewald? I mean, there's a difference between being brave and looking for trouble."

Eli shrugged. "It's not a big difference." He said.

"Can I come with you?" Raven asked.

Harry was shocked that she would offer. "Grindlewald is only allowed two visitors at a time." He said. "Which is why Dumbledore's not escorting me. But I'm sure I'm safe enough, you don't have to worry."

Raven slunk into the shadows and gave Harry a strange look that made him feel like he was missing out on something.

"Hey, what is a zombie anyway?" Ron asked.

* * *

The days passed slowly for Harry. The coursework was picking up in preparation for final exams, and everybody had to band together to help Juliet study. She knew how to perform spells. She was smart enough to know every single spell better then Hermione. But she seemed to have as much magical ability as Neville Longbottom, unless she was using accidental magic.

The time finally came when Harry got to meet Grindlewald. Dumbledore lent them his pet phoenix for the journey, and the three of them disapparated.

When they reapparated, Harry had to stop himself from staring. Nurmengard Prison was actually a mansion. But the mansion was floating over a volcano. And the volcano was underground. They had apparated onto a flying carpet suspended over lava, and the edges of the volcano were patrolled by hordes of dragons. Harry had never seen so many dragons in his life.

The lone ray of sunlight was immediately shut off. "Pheonixs can go anywhere, even through anti-disapparation wards, but only if the sun shines." Sherlock muttered. "I've never seen security this tight."

"Never?" Harry asked.

"I went into the mirror before the war ended." Sherlock said. "I've never seen this place before, but Grindlewald designed it for Dumbledore, myself, and other important prisoners of war."

Someone in the mansion whistled, and their carpet flew forward. They reached the house, and a man in an official looking uniform opened the door for them. As they stepped into the door, chains suddenly sprang from out of the cracks in the woodwork, wrapping around Harry and Sherlock. The man spoke in a foreign language, and Sherlock answered.

The chains led them inside and the door closed behind them. The official led them, still warpped in chains, into the mansion, and Harry felt himself sink. Looking out the window, Harry saw that the house was sinking into the lava.

_Well… at least security is tight._ He thought to himself.

"Don't worry." Sherlock muttered. "We're in chains, because they believe the only thing a visitor needs to do is talk. They've already done spells to ensure we're not under polyjuice or imperius, but better safe than sorry. I once knew a man who became a member of parliament, simply so nobody would suspect him of breaking a war criminal out of prison."

"If it's so much effort to keep this one guy locked up, why doesn't he get the death penalty?" Harry asked. "Then he's sure not to escape and start another war."

"He's rigged a deadman's switch to his heart." Sherlock said. "If he dies before an exact date, so does one tenth of Britain's wizarding population, at random, and most of Europe will fall into the sea."

Harry shuddered. "What's so important about the date?"

"Honestly, I don't know." Sherlock muttered. "Grindlewald is a gifted seer. He's managed to fill the ministry's hall of prophecies with more than seven hundred of the things, and two thirds of those have come true so far."

_I guess that's why Raven wanted to come._

The guard led them into a corner of the mansion that was damp and cold. Eventually, the shining mansion hallways petered off into a dank stone hallway, with an iron door on the end. The door was guarded by four Solomon Grundy lookalikes. Above the archway were words, written in seven different languages. _For The Greater Good._

"Welcome to Nurmengard." Sherlock muttered, and Harry realized that they weren't even in the actual prison yet.

The official took out a ring of hundreds of identical keys, and somehow picked out the one that would open the door.

Inside, there was a spiraling room, with thousands of cages. If Grindlewald built this, it was obvious he was expecting hundreds to protest against his invasion. It continued to amaze Harry how much bigger wizards could make things on the inside; this spiraling pillar of prison cells looked like it could rival the Empire State Building in height. Or would it be depth?

Skittering through the prison, large metallic insects roamed the halls, occaissionally emitting a burst of fire from what Harry assumed were their rear-ends. "I haven't seen those in the magical creature textbooks." Harry hissed.

"Blast-Ended Skrewts." Sherlock exclaimed. "They're illegal for anybody to breed except for the man who discovered them. I have no idea what they are, but I have it on a very reliable source that their birth involves goats somehow. Now hold on tight."

The chains wrapped around them lifted them off of the ground, and then lowered them into the pit, apparently not bothered to take them down by the sloping floor. After what seemed like half an hour, they reached the bottom. The chains went back up, to be replaced by new chains from the ground.

The guard had taken a broom down, and he cast a patronus charm. The spell revealed a door in the floor, and the guard took out a knife and cut himself, then Harry, then Sherlock, and dropped their blood on the door, along with a drop of some sort of potion. "The blood is used to recognize us so we can get back out again." Sherlock explained. Harry was growing more and more frightened, while Sherlock seemed to be either excited or impressed.

The descended down into the high security cell. There was only one wizard worth this much security. They passed through four more doors, each one using something different for a key, before they reached Grindlewald's cell.

Inside, an old man sat on a bench. He didn't look that old. He was bald, and he had wrinkles around his eyes and smile marks, but he looked strong. Stronger then Mad-eye, or Dumbledore. _Is it normal for wizards to be a hundred years old, but act like they're in their prime? _There was a window in the room, outside of which was an illusion of a rustic mountainous forest in the middle of a rainstorm. The floor and the bench seemed to grow around Grindlewald, keeping him firmly in place.

He put a bookmark in the Gilderoy Lockhart book he was reading, and set it down as he smiled at his guests. "Welcome back detective. This will be the last time we see each other. And… hello, young Boy-Who-Lived. I've been looking forward to your visit for a long, long time."

* * *

_A/N: As you can see, this story does not follow classic Harry Potter patterns. Much like Nott being a metamorphmagus, Grindlewald has a powerful Inner Eye. And there is a doubt that Voldemort will make an appearance in this one, especially for the same reasons he does in book one. Events have happened before Harry was even born that differ from the events of canon. Valmont being born as Lucius Malfoy's younger brother alone would create an enormous butterfly effect. And thus, Grindlewald will take a more prominent place on stage._

_I've decided, upon seeing the length of this story, to rename it Harry's Eleven and the Mirror's Secrets, and write each Harry's Eleven story in sequence instead of putitng them all under the same document. _


	14. In Hindsight, Maybe This Was A Bad Idea

**Book One**

**In Hindsight, Maybe This Was A Bad Idea**

The guard looked at Grindlewald like a wild dog that needed putting down, and promptly closed the cell door behind them.

"Come and sit down." Grindlewald gestured. The heavy chains fell off of Harry and Sherlock, and some stones in the far wall shifted, turning into a protruding bench.

Harry couldn't help but feel apprehensive. "Weren't these chains important?"

"Overkill." Grindlewald waved away his concerns like flies. "My precious Nurmy knows that you won't try to break me out."

"Nurmy?" Harry asked.

Grindlewald stroked the walls of his cell, and they seemed to stretch out to accept his touch. "My dear daughter, Nurmy. You've no idea the trouble I went to making sure she was absolutely foolproof. Nobody's escaped from her walls, ever. Which is something I can't say for Azkaban. If she thinks it's safe for you to take those ridiculous chains off, then you needn't worry about me using you to escape."

Harry was very, very, creeped out.

"Ignore his posturing." Sherlock said, sitting down calmly on the bench opposite. "He's always doing his best to frighten people, in that respect alone he is similar to Voldemort. Once, just to prove he could defeat France himself before Hitler began his blitzkrieg, he turned in his wand to the French ministry, then went to meet a squad of their best aurors. He went alone and unarmed, and the next day the aurors were found atop the Eiffel tower, and Grindlewald had his wand back. The end result; France surrendered quickly."

"Ah, the good old days." Grindlewald leered.

Harry decided to sit down. Even though he felt like he was sitting across from a dragon. "You said you were expecting me for a long time?"

"Yes." Grindlewald said. "Ever since I first got a hand on these. Nurmy?"

One of the bricks of the wall shuffled out and fell on Grindlewald's lap. One side of the brick was absent, and the brick was hollowed out. Grindlewald produced from it a deck of cards.

"Now that's interesting, how did you get those?" Sherlock asked.

"My Nurmy got them for me." Grindlewald grinned, and began to shuffle them. "After all, if I didn't have them, I'd be liable to escape out of boredom, and as much as she loves me it's against her nature to let me escape." He pointed at Harry mischievously. "Which is why you intrigue me so much."

Harry blinked. "Well, yes, I do have that effect on people." He chuckled weakly.

Grindlewald nodded. "Very good. When confronted by somebody more powerful then you, always talk big. Never let on that you're weak. You need a bit more practice lying though, you have too honest an air about you."

Harry was spared the task of coming up with a witty comeback by Sherlock. "You're not up against something dangerous Harry. He's no more a threat then a caged mockingbird."

Grindlewald chuckled. "Well then, if the great Sherlock Holmes wants answers, he'd better ask his questions."

Sherlock leaned forward, and his eyes said the game was afoot. "Do you know why we're here?"

Grindlewald juggled his cards, his face giving nothing away. "I'm an extremely powerful wizard, who has a history of doing impossible things, sometimes several impossible things at the same time. You are a detective who specializes in solving only the most baffling cases. And you're coming to visit me. If I had to solve this puzzle, of which there are exactly two pieces, I'd guess that something happened. Something impossible. And you suspect me."

"Well done." Sherlock said. "You almost made a very impressive deduction."

"Did I get something wrong?"

"Only one thing. I never suspect. I deduce."

Grindlewald chuckled. It was the deep throaty chuckle you'd hear from someone who wanted to take over the world. "Very well detective. I deduce you didn't come here to hear what I could deduce. Ask your questions."

Sherlock steeples his fingers. "If you were to attack Hogwarts, then why would you do it, and how?"

Grindlewald considered. "I would never attack Hogwarts. I'd probably send a little demonstration Dumbledore's way to let him know that I could, and then hide for the next decade hoping he doesn't get too upset." He chuckled. "We takes our children very seriously."

Sherlock nodded. "Grindlewald, one of the Harridan's went rogue and attacked the school."

"Is this true?" Grindlewald didn't ask Sherlock, but rather the cell. Harry shuddered again as 'Nurmy' bent a bit in answer. "Ah, Solomon Grundy. I made him myself to be the chief warden. The first, the best of the Harridan." He leaned forward. "I'd be interested in knowing how Dumbledore dispatched him."

"The recently discovered Homorphus charm." Sherlock grimaced.

"And while this is very interesting, what reason do you have to suspect me?" Grindlewald asked.

"No reason at all." Sherlock admitted. "Solomon Grundy was carrying a note to Dumbledore, signed by you, and while the signature was a perfect forgery the handwriting wasn't yours. I don't suspect you at all. Rather, I want to know what you think of the whole business. Who would want to frame you?"

Grindlewald smirked. "I could think of a great many people who would want to frame me. Do you want a list?"

"Just the cliff notes?"

Grindlewald considered. Then with a smile said; "Pow-kumb the powerful, ruler of the rabbit realm."

"If you're not going to take this seriously…" Sherlock stood up threateningly.

"Oh, please sit down." Grindlewald sighed. "I'll answer your questions for you detective, but first I need my fun. This is the first time I've had a visitor in years, and as I said, I've been expecting him for a long time."

"Why were you expecting me?" Harry asked.

"Because you…" He seemed to pause only for dramatic effect. "… will be the one who breaks me out of prison in five years."

Sherlock looked at him curiously.

"Before you ask, detective, I don't know how or why. I just know he will. And since even I can't think of a way to beat Nurmy, even if I wanted to, I can't wait to see it."

"I wasn't going to ask that." Sherlock said. "I was going to ask whether this date five years later happens to be around the date where your curse ends and we're allowed to execute you for your crimes without recrimination?"

Grindlewald grinned. "He'll free me the week of."

"Damn."

"You thought I'd play fair when the war ended?" Grindlewald laughed half heartedly, then sighed. "No father wants to see his daughter fail. I suppose that's what Dumbledore was counting on to keep me in prison. He never understood. He thinks we can beat fate. I don't want to leave and break Nurmy's heart, but you…" He pointed accusingly at Harry. "… will break me out, and I will let you regardless of our feelings."

The chains rattled angrily. The walls seemed to hiss at Harry.

"I'm sorry for maybe being able to kidnap you from prison in the future." Harry said. He was doing a rather bad job of hiding his nervousness.

Grindlewald waved him away. "It's not important." He said. "She'll get over it with counseling, and there are things I need to do before I die. Things on the outside." He leaned forward. "Lend me your palm Harry Potter."

Harry looked nervously at Sherlock, who nodded. Grindlewald eagerly studied Harry's hand. "Your life line is the strongest I've ever seen… no, your life line is too weak, you should be dead… it appears strong because it's been… influenced… unnaturally altered…" Grindlewald looked back up at Harry with a grin. "Curious. That scar of yours isn't the only strange mark you bear."

He released Harry's hand, and took his cards out again, beginning to hum a simple song. "Since I can't divine from your physical appearance, altered as it may be, I'll divine your fates from the cards. Unless you're scared." He spread the deck out in front of him.

"I've never been scared of cards." Harry said, before reaching out for one.

Sherlock took his hand, quickly. "Harry, that's not wise." Sherlock said. "Grindlewald is a very powerful seer, and a cunning wizard. He's right, he can't escape without outside help, but he can manipulate events outside of prison. His… daughter seems quite eager to help him, in any respect besides escape."

Grindlewald smiled a toothy smile. "Your faith in me is overwhelming. Harry… if you want to take a card he won't stop you."

Harry looked to Sherlock, who just frowned.

"He's far too curious. Ever the detective. He's curious what I'll do… I've been in prison for almost half a century, and who knows how long I've known you were coming, how long I've waited for you? How long I've planned to act one whatever my reading reveals."

He held out the cards again. "Just a tap, and I'll reveal your future. Be warned, that while the cards reveal the truth, I am the only one in this room with the inner eye. I am the only one who can interpret the cards. In the end… you can't trust me to tell you your future."

He leaned forward, and Harry caught a whiff of smoke on his breath, like Grindlewald could breath fire. "But it's not like you're your 'grandpa'. What's the fun in life if you don't take a risk every now and then?"

Harry tapped a card.

Grindlewald nodded. "The past." He flipped it over, setting it down on a section of the stone bench that suddenly had colored markings on them. The card revealed an old bearded man with one eye, hanging from a tree by his neck. "The Hanged Man." Grindlewald nodded. "Your past has been decided by the wise men. Or those who suppose themselves wise."

He held out the cards again. "The Present." He flipped the card Harry tapped over next to the Hanged Man. "The Chariot. In order to progress, you need to take your own reigns. As you are now, other people have control over your life. You need to stop being acted upon, and start acting on them."

"I am." Harry said. Grindlewald glared at him for the interruption. "I already have the reigns in my own hands."

Grindlewald glance at Harry with irritation. "Don't interrupt Harry, the Inner Eye is delicate. If the cards say you aren't in control, then you aren't."

"And if I say I am, then I am." Harry said.

"You're only eleven years old Harry." Grindlewald snapped. "And everybody's taking advantage of you now when they still can. You're more imprisoned then you think."

"You seem to know an awful lot about that." Harry said, daring Grindlewald to say more. Grindlewald was distraught for some reason. Maybe it's something to do with him interrupting the fortune telling process. Whatever it was, Harry wanted to push it.

The older wizard looked like he could snap Harry's neck. "Oh, you have no idea. Who decided where you lived? Dumbledore? Do you think for a second you'd have stayed with your precious family if it weren't Alastor's family? Why are you here? Are you here because you're investigating the attack on your school? Or are you here because Sherlock asked you to be here?" Harry backed away, as the old wizard leaned forward. "Those chains have Nth metal traces in them, to stop people wearing them from performing magic. My Nurmy doesn't let people use magic around me. Sherlock's a muggle. So what are you Harry? Go ahead. Try and cast the simplest spell. Cast Lumos."

Harry felt both Grindlewald and Sherlock's eyes on him. The guards hadn't taken away his wand when he came in; apparently, taking away another wizard's wand was taboo, unless he was a prisoner. He took out his wand, and cautiously cast Lumos.

Nothing happened.

"You're more trapped then you think Harry." Grindlewald glowered. "Now, two cards this time. Unless you think I'm full of dungbeetles."

Harry stretched out his hand, but this time he hesitated. Why was he going along with this? If Grindlewald was to be believed, then he was going along with too many things already.

But then he remembered the time he played card with his dad… his dad was counting the cards, and knew Harry was about to put down an Ace, so he put down a Jack instead. His dad was able to win the game thanks to that Jack, but he couldn't have if he'd just played down an Ace.

Just because an opponent's expecting you to do something, doesn't mean it's not the right thing to do.

Was Grindlewald his enemy? After a brief period of thought, Harry decided yes. Yes he was. And maybe he was out-gunned, but he wouldn't let Grindlewald spook him again.

With renewed Gryffindor courage, Harry tapped two cards.

"Your enemies. Major, and Minor." Grindlewald flipped them over. "Major, the Wheel of Fortune. It appears you won't have one major enemy, so much as several. Sometimes working in unison to achieve their own goals, and sometimes their goals will be your destruction." His toothy smiled returned. "Impressive."

"While your major enemies are foes far more powerful than you that you must risk life and limb to overcome, your minor enemies are those close to you, those you will face on a day-to-day basis. Minor, the Five of Stars. Inverted. They could have been your friends had you met in different circumstances. And sometimes you'll have cause to work together, fighting the major foes alongside the minor. But as cordial as you may be, you will always be…" Grindlewald seemed to choke at this last bit. Harry thought he saw his eyes watering up.

"Two again. Your allies." Grindlewald's voice was cold again, as he motioned for Harry to pick more cards.

"Your minor ally, your friend; the Eleven of Wands." He threw back his head and laughed. "How incredible! Do you know Harry, these cards can change from time to time, but I've never drawn a completely new card before. There is no eleven of wands in this deck. Eleven is obviously your lucky number. Remember it."

"Your major ally, somebody far more powerful then you, to act as your guide but never companion. The Empress." Grindlewald stared intently. "I… cannot read this card."

"Why not?" Harry asked.

"At a guess?" Grindlewald growled. "Whoever this Empress is… she's protected herself against intrusions of the inner eye." He shook his head, his irritation showing clearly. "How frustrating. But the odds are, she's a powerful ally for you. You may just survive the wheel of fortune."

He laid the cards out, the enemies and allies symmetrical on different side of the 'present' card, making a 'Y' shape. "Now the interesting bit… the future."

He flipped the card Harry tapped over. "This year… The One of Wands. You'll come into your own this year. You'll outwit your superiors, and you'll have your first encounter with your major enemy."

"Next year… The Hierophant. My my… A school of magic, similar to Hogwarts but at the same time dark and twisted, and you'll have to choose between the two schools. A threat to the ones you love, which you will not be able to overcome. A hidden threat, one that your friend will know about, but won't tell you until it's too late." He leered at Harry, even as he reached out with the cards. "You have my condolences."

"Next year… The Tower. Your childhood caretaker will return to your life." Harry's mind shot to the Dursleys, and he shuddered involuntarily. "Oh, and be wary of things that fall from the sky. I don't generally do 'fortune cookie' futures, but it looks like a lot of things will fall from the sky, all of them bad."

"Year four… the King of Cups. A competition. Not just any competition; the Tri-wizard tournament will come to Hogwarts. You'll be a participant, but for you the stakes of winning or losing will be much, much harder."

"Next year… Justice, Inverted. You will become the target of the Ministry. Everything they can throw at you, they will throw at you."

"And next year, the year you break me out of prison, will be…" Grindlewald's face froze in a mask of rage. "…The Hermit. Inverted."

He stayed quiet in rage for half a minute before Sherlock interrupted. "What does the Hermit inverted meaned?"

"Can you not see it detective?" Grindlewald snarled, and tapped the golden Ankh in the middle of the card. "The Hermit is a source of wisdom. A wise old man whose only caretaker… is fate."

"Fate?" Sherlock asked. Harry was surprised. For the first time since he'd known Sherlock, he looked nervous.

"That's right. Dumbledore will die. And you, Harry Potter, will have a hand in it."

There was a pause as both sets of eyes turned to Harry. He couldn't imagine feeling more uncomfortable. He couldn't imagine killing Dumbledore either. Or killing anyone.

"How long have you known Dumbledore was going to die?" Sherlock asked.

"I've known for years." Grindlewald mumbled. "I've known since Riddle started calling himself Voldemort. And then the year after… always the same." He held out the cards again, and Harry, with some trepidation, tapped a card. Grindlewald took one look at it and sighed. "Always the same… The Joker."

He placed the card down at the end of the line of card. A man in a jester's costume with a wicked looking grin danced on the card. "It's always the same. First, Dumbledore's death is the last piece of the future I can see. After that… The Joker. Always The Joker! Not just for me, for everyone! I don't know what it means, or what's going to happen, but that's where the future will end. With the rise of The Joker."

"Intriguing." Sherlock began to pace around the room. "I wonder what could kill Dumbledore…"

"I hope you figure it out." Grindlewald said. "When I escape, I want to be able to wreak my vengeance on whoever did the deed."

"If I do find out, you can rest assured Dumbledore will not die." Sherlock said firmly.

Grindlewald shook his head. "You and Dumbledore never could understand. Fate cannot be changed like the mind of a wayward child, or beaten like a foe in a grand game." He looked to Harry. "Look at the pattern these cards make; a sword. Knowledge of the future is a formidable weapon, Harry. You can't change the future, but you can take advantage of it."

He turned to Sherlock. "The person behind the first attempts at the stone, was a man named Ras Al Ghul. But since Gringotts, it's been hunted by Voldemort."

"I considered that, but this isn't Voldemort's style." He said. "Voldemort wouldn't go about trying to distract Dumbledore, he'd want him to know who was responsible."

"Well, it's a good thing he's not working alone then." Grindlewald said. "Now get out of here. I don't want to look at you any more."

With that, the pair were bound in chains again, and the door opened.

* * *

As the flying carpet took the away from the house in the middle of the volcano, Harry tried asking Sherlock a question. "So what do you think of all that?"

Sherlock was stroking his chin. "If it is Voldemort… then that would explain the unicorn maulings."

"Unicorn maulings?"

"Yes, Hagrid's very concerned about them. There's more than one way to live forever Harry, and Unicorn blood is one of them. Not recommended, but certainly one of them."

They both took hold of Fawkes, and the pheonix let out a cry. The three of them burst into flame, and Harry felt the sensation of the Pheonix flying them back to Hogwarts. It was like swimming, except at hurricane level speeds.

"So if he's in the forest right now… then why doesn't he have this stone already?" Harry asked mid-flight.

"We have several defences." Sherlock said. "I believe you've already tested the defences we have against spirits."

"Voldemorts a ghost?"

"Something like that."

"And he's working with someone?"

"He'd have to be."

"My money's on Professor Anderson."

"He is the obvious choice. The only member of the Hogwarts Staff that Dumbledore doesn't trust implicitly, and he only received his teaching position two years ago. But you shouldn't jump to –"

Suddenly, Fawke's flying became more erratic. The pair of them tightened their grips on the phoenix, before their lightning-fast flight slowed and the fire around them disappeared. They slowed down, somewhere over the British countryside.

"Why are we slowing down!" Harry asked, having to yell over the wind they were now exposed to.

"Pheonix's can only apparate where the sun reaches!" Sherlock yelled. Harry looked around and saw that the sky was filling with dark clouds.

"This doesn't look like normal weather!" Harry yelled.

"No!" Sherlock agreed. "This is the work of aliens!"

Harry stared at him. "Aliens! Are you serious!"

"Always!"

Harry sighed, and the three of them touched down. "What on earth makes you think it's an alien invasion?"

"What on earth makes you think it isn't?"

"I dunno, maybe the fact that aliens don't exist."

"I used to think magic didn't exist. If you eliminate every possible answer, then whatever remains however impossible, must be the truth."

"And how do you know magic isn't behind this?"

"Well, for one thing we're on a road and no cars are driving by, indicating large-scale crisis. The cloud patterns are all wrong for any weather charm, and the since Fawkes didn't disapparate closer to Hogwarts, this same cloud must reach as far away as Scotland. Considering we're on the eastern outskirts of London, the cloud would be far too big for any wizard to create."

"What about more than one –"

Harry was suddenly interrupted by a loud bringing. It seemed to be coming from him, but he didn't own a phone.

"Your Mokeskin." Sherlock gestured.

Harry searched in his Mokeskin pouch, and brought out the Waynetech phone. "This thing gets reception in there?" Harry answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Harry!" It was Dick. "I saw the phone's GPS tracker was active. What are you doing outside of Hogwarts?"

"Uh… field trip." Harry said. He didn't want to explain to his friend that he was visiting the wizarding world's most wanted.

"Well, get back to Hogwarts if you can. Have you heard? Martians are invading!"

'Told you' Sherlock mouthed. Harry shot him a glance of annoyance. "Really? Martians?"

"Yeah, from Mars and everything."

Sherlock was looking very smug. "You find a safe place too Dick."

"Yeah, I gotta go. Stay safe!"

Dick hung up, and Harry looked into Sherlock smug face. "You look almost excited that we're being invade by aliens."

"H.G. Wells was a personal friend of mine." Sherlock said. "I once wrote an alternate ending to War Of The Worlds. He insisted that the martian's lack of common sense in overlooking biochemical warfare and wandering the earth without clothes would be more believable. I thought it just made the aliens look more human. He didn't have to relegate my alternate ending to the mouth of some madman digging in a basement. Why can't fiction be rational from time to time?"

"Wait… the crazy guy who wanted to hide underground, wait for them to grow complacent, and then steal their machines was supposed to be you?"

"Wells didn't flatter me there, did he?" Sherlock stroked his chin.

Suddenly, in one swift movement Fawkes took to the sky, and Sherlock dragged Harry off the road and into the muddy roadside. "What –" Sherlock's hand clamped over Harry's mouth.

Harry looked around for any signs of trouble. He didn't see anything.

Until a trio of alien spaceships zoomed out of the dark sky and incinerated Fawkes.

Harry stifled a cry, as the Pheonix vanished. The spaceships soared overhead, making an unearthly noise. Harry had no idea what to do. He'd only been in one of these situations once, when Sherlock told him Voldemort was still alive. Sure, he'd had plenty of failures, but he'd never been caught completely flat-footed. His dad taught him to expect failure, and while he wasn't very good at planning for it, he could at least expect it and improvise.

This was not some failed heist. Nor was this some monster trying to hurt his friends. This was an alien invasion. It came completely out of left field.

And yet, Sherlock was smiling.

"Why are you smiling!" Harry hissed.

"Because." Sherlock said. "It's not just hell out there. There's also an angel."

Harry looked up just as an explosion rocked the sky. The was a woman in the air, wearing a one-piece patterned like the American flag. She swung a golden lasso at another space-ship, and swung it through the air like it was nothing, using it like a mace to bring down the third space-ship.

Sherlock stood up, and Harry followed suit. "Hello there!" Sherlock waved the woman down.

She looked at him with a passing interest, and then she saw Harry and she snapped to attention. She flew down and landed in front of the pair. "Are you Harry Potter."

"Yes." Harry said cautiously.

"My name is Princess Diana of Themiscyra. I've come to protect you."

* * *

_A/N: For those of you who don't know, this is the beginning of the Justice League. Martians invade, and the heroes have to band together to stop them. But what will happen this time? And why is Wonder Woman concerned about Harry? And since I'm not sure I'll cover it in later installments; yes, Sherlock is calling Wonder Woman an Angel because he met her when she travelled back to WWII. Yes, Grindlewald does have connections to Vandal Savage. _

_I hope you all enjoyed that little peek of the future. Well, the future is pretty straightforward, but feel free to take guesses at who Harry's Allies and Enemies are, they aren't easily recognizable. And I think you'll all be surprised at the role the Joker plays in book seven. Of course, I'll have to write five more books before then, so maybe not._

_And yes, Sherlock Holmes once wrote Rational!Fanfiction. He was bored, and decided it would be fun. If you don't know what Rational!Fanfiction is, go read Harry Potter And The Methods Of Rationality. If you haven't read Harry Potter And The Methods Of Rationality, what in the world are you doing reading my story?_

_I'm sorry it took so long to get this new chapter up. Not so sorry for the cliffhanger. Reviews are welcome!_


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